


Termination Dust

by Greeneyesblue



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016), The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 03:18:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10867956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greeneyesblue/pseuds/Greeneyesblue
Summary: “There is a delight in the hardy life of the open. There are no words that can tell the hidden spirit of the wilderness, that can reveal its mystery, its melancholy and its charm.”-Theodore RooseveltThe wilderness means different things to different people. For Walter, it was a place to hide from his grief. For Alex, it was an escape from one life, and the place to begin the next. One cold October evening, both men find something in the Alaskan wilderness they never anticipated. Each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely betas billystarpip and JLencre for brainstorming, cheerleading and general comma wrangling!

 

 

Entering the dimly lit bar, Alex Krycek breathed in the smell of stagnant air and stale beer. He spotted the man he was looking for sitting alone at a booth across the room. He was picking at the label on the bottle of beer in front of him. Alex guessed the drink’s purpose was mostly to help the man blend in with the other patrons.  
  
He scanned the room once more before feeling confident no one who mattered would notice or care who he was meeting with. Alex slid into the seat opposite the other man smoothly.  
  
“Detective Mulder,” Alex addressed the man coolly.  
  
“Krycek.”  
  
“I’m a little surprised you came.”  
  
“You called me. You had to know my curiosity wouldn’t let me pass this up.” Mulder’s body language was alert, but not nervous.  
  
A beat of silence passed between them. Alex knew he was going to be playing a dangerous game, and he couldn’t help but hesitate once more before he plunged them both into deep waters.  
  
“You have a pretty impressive record working organized crime cases, Detective.”  
  
Mulder just raised his eyebrows, waiting expectantly.  
  
Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want to take down my father. I want out, and I want to give you everything you need to arrest as many of those fuckers as you can.”  
  
“Really. You call me, arrange a meeting out of the city, and just like that—the son of one of the highest-ranking members of the Russian mafia in New York wants to hand me his own family, his own blood, on a silver platter?”  
  
Mulder paused and took a large swig of his beer. “Forgive me if I’m a little skeptical here. Why in the hell would you want to do that?”  
  
Alex looked away, his gaze passing over the rest of the room absently. The grief bloomed hot in his chest as he turned back to look at Mulder.  
  
“He killed my sister.”  
  
“Marita Covarrubias.” At Alex’s look of surprise, Mulder continued. “I’ve been keeping tabs on your family for some time. I didn’t know she was dead though.”  
  
“You wouldn’t. I made sure they didn’t dump the body. I took care of her myself. I couldn’t let them throw her away.”  
  
“No offense, but from what I know of the Families, this kind of thing happens. Why are you turning to law enforcement now?”  
  
Alex hesitated. He didn’t want to reveal his personal family business to this detective. They were from different worlds and probably would never understand each other, much less trust each other enough to get anything accomplished. This was going to crash and burn before it even got off the ground.  
  
“Look,” Mulder broke the silence. “I have to look out for myself and my family too. I’m not going to open myself up to the kind of attention we would get for this unless I know you’re really with me. Unless I know you can get me information that will be useful. If you really want to cripple them and get out alive, I can help you, but you have to give me something here.”  
  
Alex spoke softly. “Marita, Mari, was my half-sister. It’s not like my father ever pretended to be faithful to my mother—his wife. He supported Mari and her mother. We grew up together. Not in the same house, but in the neighborhood. As adults we became even closer. We were both outsiders in our own way.”

He stopped to take a breath but decided he needed a drink for the rest of the conversation. Alex strode to the bar without a word to Mulder and ordered, sliding back into the booth a moment later with two fingers of vodka in a tumbler.  
  
They sat and drank in silence for a couple minutes before Alex knocked back the remainder of his drink and continued.  
  
“You have to understand that our people are pretty conservative. They might pretend to embrace modern American life, but so many cling to the old culture. The women are expected to grow up to become someone’s wife or mistress. Doesn’t really matter which. They aren’t part of the business.”  
  
Alex rubbed a hand over his face. “And I’m not supposed to be gay. My father knew the rumors, but he tolerated me because I’m his only son. So we were outsiders together. She played the fringes and got into the business where she could, and we often worked together because my father wouldn’t give me a legitimate position either. He gave us jobs when he felt like it.”  
  
“We ended up establishing ourselves mostly organizing runners for small goods shipments. We couldn’t be trusted with the real stuff. Drugs. Guns. But we had our place to exist in peace with the rest of the family. It’s not the life either of us really wanted, but we made what we could of our situation. Then Mari got restless. She got tired of being pushed around by everyone from the soldiers on up, and she wanted a real position with real power. I told her it wasn’t worth it, but she wouldn’t let it go.”  
  
Mulder stayed silent, waiting patiently to hear all he had to say, and Alex was grateful for it.  
  
“I was there when it happened. She walked into a meeting my father was having with his lieutenants and their men, pulled out a gun and held it to Elson’s head. She told father that she wanted the man’s position and wasn’t afraid to kill him to get it. My father didn’t say a word. He just sat glaring at her. Before anyone else could make a move, Elson’s son stood and shot her in the head. My father didn’t even flinch. He just went on with the meeting as if nothing had happened.”  
  
Alex stopped then. His own insecurity hanging heavy in the air, talked out for the moment.  
  
Mulder let out a rush of breath. “Well, shit. And here I thought my family was fucked up because my dad left and took my sister with him when he moved three counties away.”  
  
Alex barked out a surprised laugh. Maybe this would work, and Fox Mulder could be the man to do it.  
  
Mulder leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “So, if we do this…if we take down enough people to put your father out of power, what will you do?”  
  
“Leave. Start over. Find something legitimate. Live openly. Make a life. There is nothing left for me here.”  
  
Mulder sat back with a satisfied look on his face.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“Okay?” Alex questioned.  
  
“Yeah, okay. I believe you. Let’s talk.”  
  
They spent the next hour discussing the general workings of the business, and Krycek supplied as many names as possible. He could tell that the detective was familiar with some, but others were new to him. By the time they were done, they had a general plan of action. Alex would proceed with business as usual - a double agent among his own. Mulder suggested a meet in a week, by which time Alex thought he would have a place and time on the next drug distribution. It would pull in a lot of small players and make the larger players suspicious of each other if they played it right.  
  
“Ok, I think that’s a good start,” Mulder said as he stood. “I should get back to the wife and kid. I’ll talk to you next week.”  
  
As he watched the brunette stride out of the bar, Alex had a moment of regret for getting Mulder involved in his revenge on his father. It was a dangerous game they were playing, even with the resources of the NYPD on their side. He hoped this mess wouldn’t touch Mulder’s family. He was a good man trying to do the right thing. Alex didn’t want anyone else getting hurt.

\-----  
  
Alex jogged through the heavy spring rain across the parking lot of a diner in the suburbs. He slipped into the passenger seat of Mulder’s car, quickly shutting out the weather. The other man handed him a warm cup of coffee, which he gratefully wrapped his hands around. He took a sip before speaking.  
  
“They still don’t suspect me as far as I can tell. I think it’s because I’m not usually directly involved with operations. And maybe some of them are blinded by the fact that I’m the boss’ son.”  
  
“Good. I think everything is in place for the raid next week. Unless anything changes between now and then, this could be it.”  
  
They had been working together for a year and had made a lot of progress. Several smaller guys had been arrested and convicted. One of the lieutenants had been arrested and was awaiting trial. Alex’s father was growing more paranoid and had been more hands-on as a result. Alex had intel on a large arms shipment coming in that his father planned to supervise personally. Anyone that mattered would be there, and there would be enough evidence to arrest everyone the police could get their hands on.  
  
Mulder had gotten Alex an immunity agreement for his help, and Alex was counting the days until he could leave. Free and clear of his father, whose crew would be disabled enough that it would be difficult to enact retribution.  
  
“A few more days and this could be over,” Mulder said solemnly.  
  
“Yeah. In case this all goes to hell and I don’t get the chance to say it, thanks for trusting me. I know I’m just some criminal, and I don't deserve to get off when all these other guys are going down, but for once in my life I wanted to do the right thing.”  
  
“Hey, I became a cop to get justice for people. I think it’s safe to say you deserve a little justice too.”  
  
Mulder’s statement settled in the silence between them. Alex appreciated the sentiment, even if he didn’t really agree. He didn’t deserve to be free of the consequences more than any of the other guys working in the business. He just wanted his freedom and to be able to work on becoming someone that deserved it.  
  
“So, is Will going to play tee-ball again this summer?” Alex needed to talk about something less serious to get his mind off the upcoming operation.  
  
Over the course of the last year, he and Detective Fox Mulder had become something like actual friends. He appreciated Fox’s quirky sense of humor: sometimes sharp and biting, sometimes childish. Mulder spoke of his family often. He was clearly head-over-heels for his beautiful and intelligent wife, Dana. She was a pediatrician at a private practice. Mulder also told him many stories of all the trouble their precocious seven-year-old got into.  
  
“Nah. He’s moved on to soccer. He decided tee-ball was for little kids. I tried to lecture him on the merits of the great American tradition of baseball, but it was a lost cause.”  
  
Alex laughed. It made him feel good to know that there were people that got to have the life they wanted. A partner to love. A child to raise. All the mess and joy of life all mixed up together. Living a double life over the last year made him feel empty. Without the friendship of Mari, and with no love lost on his father, he felt more and more like his life had no meaning. He hoped that in helping the side of the law he was at least contributing something, other than just working to line the family pockets.  
  
“I’ll be in touch if anything changes,” Alex put his hand on the door handle, steeling himself for the wet journey back to his car.  
  
“Stay safe.”  
  
Alex smiled at Fox’s words as he stepped back out into the rain.  
  
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

\-----

Alex lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling of his apartment in Brighton Beach. He couldn't sleep. It wasn't anything new. He hadn't slept well since the night Mari was killed. Tonight, he had good reason though. Tomorrow NYPD’s finest would raid a major arms deal, and his father and everyone left in power would be there.

Because he was awake, he heard it coming. A key in the lock to his apartment door. Alex knew immediately that it was his father, or rather, someone his father sent to do his dirty work. He didn’t even spare a thought as to how they got a key. His father always found a way to get what he wanted. He briefly contemplated making a run for it, but figured that was pretty pointless. He knew it was too late for him, but maybe if he played along, he could warn Mulder or get them more information before his father dealt with him.  
  
He stood and pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxers, and walked out into the living room dressed in that and the t-shirt he had been sleeping in. He flipped on a light and stood with a false air of casualty as the door opened. When Alex saw the man stepping into his home, he immediately knew that his father had figured it out. Grant Elson, son of his father’s lieutenant and Mari’s murderer stepped in, a smug look on his face.  
  
There was no question now that Alex’s father knew he was the mole, and he had sent the younger Elson on purpose. He was good at playing head games like that. He wouldn’t have risen to his powerful position were he not. The man was ruthless and knew how to play people’s emotions. Alex wouldn’t let emotion rule him though. He would do what he could to fight. For himself. For Mari. For William Mulder.  
  
“Thanks for stopping by Grant. I’d offer you a beer, but I’m out. Wasn’t expecting company.”  
  
Alex could see his flippant attitude was rankling Elson a little.  
  
“Shut the fuck up, Krycek. You know why I’m here,” Grant snarled.  
  
“I actually don’t. I’m sure you’re dying to tell me though.”  
  
Grant stalked forward, stopping short a foot or so from Alex.  
  
“Don’t get smart. Your dear old dad wants to see you. I’m guessing you know why, but in case you don’t, I’m supposed to remind you.”  
  
With his last words, Elson sucker punched Alex in the gut. Hard. He stumbled back, doubled over and coughing. Grant was a big guy: tall, dark and built like a tank. Even so, Alex could take him if he wanted, but he knew there would be another two guys out in the hall and at least one driver. His chances of beating Grant without bringing down the attention of the rest were next to nothing. Coughing once more before clearing his throat, he straightened back to his full height.  
  
“Let’s just go, Elson. I don’t know what my father wants, but he’s obviously unhappy about something. Best not keep him waiting.”  
  
Alex decided to play dumb as long as it served him. Elson wasn’t good at reading people, so he would keep his cards close to his chest for now.  
  
Grant grabbed his upper arm and roughly propelled him into the hall and down to the street where they got in a waiting SUV. The ride to his father’s office was silent, and even as he went over his likely options in his head, Alex wasn’t optimistic that he would make it through the night.  
  
The walk from the SUV up to the office space above a warehouse seemed to pass quickly, and before he would have liked, Alex was standing in front of his father.  
  
“Alexei. Thank you for coming.”  
  
He hated that name. His father had called him Alexei since he was a boy. It reeked of false affection and his father’s power over him. Alex contemplated the man before him. They looked a lot alike, unfortunately, but age and gluttony had given Victor Krycek a receding hairline and some extra weight around the middle.  
  
“Father,” Alex replied coldly.  
  
“Now, now. No need to be upset, is there?” Victor paused, and Alex remained silent. “Well, perhaps there is.”  
  
His father shifted in his seat behind a large desk, and Alex finally took a moment to fully scan the room. It was fully occupied, with both the Elsons and what was left of the other lieutenants seated in various furniture around the room, while several of their most trusted goons stood guard near the entrance.  
  
“I know you’ve been a bit upset with me lately, Alexei. I’m sorry about Marita, but we can’t have anyone trying to take what isn’t given, now can we? So, here we are. You may not have realized this, but I have had some trouble with the authorities lately.”  
  
“You don’t get me involved in the real business, father, so I can’t say I have noticed anything different.”  
  
“No? You don’t think the frequency of arrests has gone up this past year? That it seems as if the police always know where to find my men in incriminating circumstances?”  
  
“I don’t know, sir.”  
  
“Now, Alexei, I really think you do know. You see, I couldn’t figure it out for the longest time. Who would be foolish enough to talk to the police? Who would know the things they seem to find out? Who would think they were too good for this family?”  
  
There was a pregnant pause, but Alex knew saying anything now wouldn’t change his father’s mind. It was obvious Victor knew what he had done, and was just putting on a show for those assembled.  
  
“You see; I began to wonder who in the family connected all these incidents. Who knew enough about all my business operations to leak information on so many? In the end, I didn’t even figure it out for myself. Yeltsov here just happened to see you, my dear Alexei, talking to a certain NYPD detective at a diner while he was on his way back from a delivery upstate a few days ago.”  
  
Alex’s stomach lurched at the implication. Not only had they made him, but they knew Mulder was involved as well. After being so careful, it had been stupid chance that he had gotten caught, and now Mulder would surely suffer for it as well.  
  
“We know of this detective, Alexei. He has been a thorn in my side for a long time. Fox Mulder. He lives at 940 East 58th Street, Brooklyn. Wife is Dana Scully, pediatrician in private practice. Son, age seven, William Mulder.”  
  
Alex stood still as stone, refusing to show his dread at what was coming.  
  
“I am not usually prone to acts of mercy, but I am conflicted in this case. You are my son, Alexei; even if you are a faggot. In fact, I think I’m being downright charitable to give my freak offspring a chance to redeem himself.” A chuckle rumbled through the others in the room.  
  
“I don’t think it would make me appear too soft to allow you to live. I am fond of your mother, and I don’t want to attract her wrath without reason. However, there is one condition. You must kill Detective Fox Mulder. You must eliminate this problem that you have brought down on us.”  
  
Alex drew in a breath slowly as his heart pounded in his chest.  
  
“You have 24 hours. If it is not done by then, I will kill you. It is your life or his.” His father stood as if preparing to dismiss him. “Actually, if you are dead, I won’t hesitate to eliminate our problem detective anyway. Stan and Karl will see you home, and I’m sure they can remind you how very generous I am in giving you a second chance.”  
  
\-----  
  
Alex stumbled through a few dark backyards, trying to stay as quiet as possible in his current condition. His good buddies Stan and Karl had reminded him with fists and boots that he was on a very short leash, and he was pretty sure he had a couple cracked ribs and at least a mild concussion to show for it. They had retreated to watch his building from the street afterward, leaving him to nurse his wounds inside. Instead, Alex packed what he would need in a backpack, and snuck down the fire escape on the side of the building.  
  
He approached the backdoor of a house and sat down gingerly beside the stoop, pulling a burner phone from his pocket. After a few moments of taking short breaths in an attempt to ease his lightheadedness, he dialed, hearing the house phone ring inside in response. Mulder answered with a sleep roughened voice and a terse greeting.  
  
“I’m at your back door. Let me in.”  
  
“Krycek? I mean, we’re friends and all, but the only person I let play at my back door is my beautiful and talented wife.”  
  
Alex laughed, but cut off with a gasp as his ribs protested.  
  
“Please. It all went to hell, and we need to talk.”  
  
He knew he sounded pathetic, but he didn’t care. He had to find a way to keep these good people safe before his father came and took care of things himself.  
  
A light was turned on in the house and he heard a deadbolt being turned before the door beside him opened.  
  
“Alex?” Mulder spoke softly into the night.  
  
“Down here. I might have overestimated my ability to get back up once I sat down.”  
  
“Shit. What happened?”  
  
“Stan the man, and his good buddy Karl.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Breathing rapid shallow breaths, Alex struggled to his feet with Fox’s help.  
  
“I’ll tell you inside.”  
  
They slowly stumbled their way through the door, ending up in the kitchen, where Mulder sat Alex at the table. Before Alex could begin to explain, a pretty redheaded woman entered wearing a bathrobe over pajamas.  
  
“Fox, what’s going on?”  
  
“Dana, meet Alex Krycek, an informant in the Russian mob that I’ve been working with for the past year.” Turning to Alex, he continued. “If things went as badly as I’m guessing, it won’t matter that she knows who you are.”  
  
Alex offered his hand for a shake. “I’d stand if it wouldn’t take me half an hour to get upright. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you from this guy. I’m sorry to drag you into this.”  
  
Dana shook his hand lightly, all the while giving him an assessing look. Alex knew he must look bad at this point. He had thrown a leather jacket on over his t-shirt, which hid any bruising on his arms, but he knew his eye and the side of his face had to be purple by now. She turned and began walking out of the room, turning to call back over her shoulder.  
  
“I’ll get you an ace bandage for your ribs. Fox, get him some ice for his face.”  
  
Mulder grabbed a bag of peas out of the freezer, and Alex sighed in relief as he pressed it to the throbbing bruises. When Dana returned they both helped him out of his jacket and shirt. Dana started to work on wrapping his ribs in silence, and Alex couldn’t help but appreciate her no-nonsense attitude in the face of all the questions she must have.  
  
“So spill,” Mulder said as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossing his ankles in front of him.  
  
“I was made. My father knows. It’s stupid really. We were careful, but some goon just happened to see us at that diner by chance and recognized us both.”  
  
Mulder blew out a breath. “So, what now? Your father has you beat up to teach you a lesson, and that’s that?”  
  
Alex chuckled bitterly, which turned into a cough that he winced his way through. Dana turned to glare at Mulder for making her patient move unnecessarily.  
  
“I wish. I would have gladly taken twice the beating if that was all it had been,” Krycek paused and watched Dana finish up and step over to the cupboard to pull out some Tylenol. “He wants me to kill you.”  
  
The bottle of pain killers clattered to the floor, as Dana’s hand flew to cover her mouth. Mulder cursed under his breath.  
  
“That’s why I’m here,” he continued. “You need to disappear. He gave me 24 hours to do it, and if I don’t he’ll just kill me and then kill you anyway. I have money I can give you. Take your family, and get as far away as possible.”  
  
“Can’t the police protect us? I mean, can’t they arrest this guy?” Dana questioned.  
  
“You’ll never be safe. If you find a way to stay, my father will always see that as an insult, and he won’t stop seeking his revenge. You cost him men and income, and he doesn’t forgive that.”  
  
“But what about you?” Mulder replied. “You can’t stay either.”  
  
“I figure I’m a dead man either way. I plan on staying alive as long as possible and taking down as many as I can before I go, through legal means or otherwise.”  
  
“We can fight! We can take him down together. The raid is tomorrow, well tonight. We can get him before your 24 hours is up.”  
  
“No! Don’t you get it? That meet was probably a setup to try to draw out the mole. We’re done! We can’t fight this. All you can do now is get out.”  
  
Alex sat back in his chair trying to catch his breath. He hoped Mulder would see reason and save his family.  
  
“Please. Please, Fox. Do it for your family. Do it for me. I spent my whole life trying to be someone I didn't want to be because I thought I had no other options. You gave me a chance to do something good for once, but more than that, you gave me a glimpse of a life I always wanted for myself. A partner and maybe a kid. A real family. Not just some people I owed an obligation to, who lorded their power and disdain over me.  
  
“I loved hearing all the stories about Will and your life with Dana. It’s everything I could never have because those people would never accept me for loving another man. I’m not going to pretend I kept my hands completely clean over the years, but I tried to stay out of the real mire of the family business. Now, I don’t care. I’m going to do whatever it takes to take down as many as possible, and I’ll probably die doing it. I want to know that somewhere you’re still making a life with your family. I want that for you.”  
  
Silence hung in the air like a physical presence after Alex finished. Then, Dana moved and sat down next to him, placing her hand over his on the table.  
  
“You deserve a life too,” she said softly. He had no idea how this woman was not freaking out and kicking him to the curb, but from what Mulder had told him of her, Dana was a strong woman that was a good judge of character.  
  
Mulder stood and came to sit at the table too. “Come with us. If we can escape this, you can too.”  
  
“I don’t want to endanger you more than I already have.”  
  
“Hey, I didn’t get into law enforcement thinking that I wouldn’t ever put myself in harm’s way. Dana didn’t come into this relationship blind either. We both understood the risks.”  
  
Alex sighed. “You’ll be able to stretch the money further with just three people.”  
  
“Bullshit! Alex, I like you. You’re one of the few people on this earth who doesn’t think I’m half crazy, and I consider you a friend. You’re a good guy born into a shitty situation, and you’ve been trying to do the right thing. Fuck your father! We’re your family now. Let’s figure this out together.”  
  
A genuine laugh bubbled out of Alex unexpectedly. He let it pass and breathed through the lingering pain in his ribs.  
  
“So, what? Where are we going to go where a former cop and former gangster can make a new life? What do we even have in common?” Alex said incredulously.  
  
Now it was Fox’s turn to laugh. “Well, we both know how to handle a gun.”  
  
Alex contemplated that in silence for a moment before he spoke.  
  
“This contractor we used to work with—“  
  
“I hope you’re referring to construction when you say contractor,” Mulder interrupted.  
  
“Actually, in this case I am. So, this guy used to brag all the time about these exotic hunting trips he went on and the exorbitant fees he paid the guides to get the biggest trophies. Maybe we can do something like that. Go live somewhere relatively remote-maybe Canada or Alaska. William can still have a pretty normal life, and you and I can make money to keep afloat. Simple, unexpected, and hard to track down as long as we don’t get stupid with how we bring in clients.”  
  
He turned to Dana then. “Sorry, I don’t know of a way you can keep practicing legitimately. A medical license is too easy to track.”  
  
“It’s ok. As long as we can stay together and stay safe, we’ll figure the rest out.”  
  
Mulder seemed to be processing the idea.  
  
“We need to at least have an idea of where we’re headed soon,” Krycek prodded.  
  
“Alaska would be easier,” Mulder looked up as he replied. “Don’t have to worry about faking citizenship.”  
  
“If we’re careful with our travel, we might not even need new identities. My father won’t want to risk going out of his way to pursue us out of his territory. He’ll be pissed, but ultimately glad we’re gone.”  
  
Fox sighed and reached out to grasp Dana’s hand. “You really ok with this?”  
  
“Yeah, I am. Like I said, whatever keeps us safe and together. It doesn’t look like we have many options or any better ideas.”  
  
She smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.  
  
“I always knew life with you would never be boring, Fox Mulder.”  
  
“Right back at you Doctor Scully.”  
  
Alex couldn’t help but smile at the interaction. Maybe they were crazy for attempting this, but if they succeeded, even if just for a while, it would all be worth it.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The alpine flora, frozen under a couple of inches of snow, crunched under his feet. Alex walked along a valley in the Talkeetna mountains steadily down toward the tree line. The sun finally began to crest the peaks at his back, and a fog had started to rise from the snow as it was warmed by the relatively mild October day. The morning was already partially gone, since the sun didn’t rise until at least nine o’clock these days. He spared a brief thought of regret that the days were quickly getting shorter before his mind began to wander over the events that brought him to this moment.  
  
It had been almost two years since they had run. Dana had spun tales of moving and family emergencies to William’s school and her practice. It wouldn’t have been hard for his father to find out they had fled if he went digging, but it had given them enough of a head start. William wasn’t too alarmed; initially he was excited about the adventure. He had struggled some since then but was a resilient kid. They had packed all they could in the family SUV and driven a few hours before trading it in for a new vehicle at a dealership in a small town off the interstate.  
  
Alex had long ago established a bank account for himself that his father didn’t know about and wouldn’t be able to find easily, if ever. He wasn’t stupid and had known he might need it someday considering his volatile family environment. He funded their trek across the continent. They crossed through Canada, but it was easy to get through the border on both ends with their passports and a tale of a Mulder family vacation with their favorite uncle.  
  
Now here they were, living a real life, safe and mostly happy. At least Fox, Dana and William were. Alex was simply content with being free of his father and the knowledge that Will could grow up with his dad in his life. He paused in his progress and sat down on a rocky outcropping. Alex bent and tightened the laces on his boots and grabbed his water bottle out of his pack, taking a long drink. The snow had been unexpected and early for the year, and his boots and pants were becoming wet and uncomfortable where the snow clung to them and melted.  
  
He didn’t linger long. Alex stood and continued, heedless of the cool dampness seeping through his socks. He deserved to be uncomfortable anyway. After all, he’d fucked things up for them again; and now, at the end of their cash reserves, their little guide business might not make it through their first season.  
  
As he continued to walk through the snow, he thought fondly of their little lodge and the previous winter he’d spent in front of the warm fire there. They’d found a property near Trapper Creek: 20 acres with nothing but an old cabin on it. They’d lived in the cabin while they built a small home for the Mulder family and a bunkhouse that served as their lodge. Alex had taken a room at the back of the lodge, near the large kitchen.  
  
The land and the buildings had eaten up most of Alex’s savings, but they still had plenty to live comfortably through the first year. Dana homeschooled William their first year, which isolated him somewhat, but they felt it was safest to keep a low profile. He had started at the public elementary school this fall and was thriving. Getting the hunting guide business started had proved to be the hardest part.  
  
A lot of research online had yielded basic information on hunting seasons and what kinds of packages other guide services offered. They were also able to obtain the appropriate permits relatively easily. The challenge came in scouting public land to use for hunts. Fox and Alex started out that first autumn with the idea that they would hunt through each of the various game seasons themselves and learn enough on the go that they’d be ready for clients by the next year. It turned out it took a lot more that what two city boys could learn online to get a successful trophy kill.  
  
Fox decided they should make some friends in the business, even though Alex thought it was a risk they didn’t need to take. As usual, Mulder plowed on ahead anyway. They found the guiding community to be very insular and competitive. The thing about Fox that had made him a good detective was his ability to read and relate to people. This proved to be their breakthrough as he was able to befriend a retired hunting guide in a bar one evening.  
  
Harold Corray had been their saving grace. A gruff, straight-talking native born Alaskan, Alex had liked him immediately. Over the course of a few months, he fed them all the information he could. He took to them like they were his own sons and loved being able to show them the ropes. They poured over maps, practiced tracking, and heard many tales and anecdotes that, at the surface seemed to be for entertainment purposes, but held important lessons themselves. Harold was pretty impressed with his city boys by the end of it.  
  
They felt ready. They had spent the next spring advertising strategically, keeping names and photos of themselves off the internet, and by summer they were booked for moose, brown bear and Dall sheep seasons. Their lodge had four bedrooms available for guests, and they had hosted two different groups for moose hunts during August and September, with pretty good success. Alex was currently hiking his way out of the camp they had set up with two clients for brown bear.  
  
He shook off his rumination as he realized he was seeing smoke in the distance. That morning, he had headed west out of the mountains in a path that went generally parallel, but would eventually intersect with the Talkeetna River at a bend. Alex figured he could follow the river into Talkeetna and hitch a ride home or call Scully from there. They had their truck parked in town, but he wanted to leave that for Mulder, who would need it to haul the gear and meat back to the lodge. He had left their satellite phone with Mulder as well.  
  
Alex was below the tree line now, and the overnight snow had melted enough that it was patchy, but left the ground sloppy and saturated. Coming down the last gradually sloping valley, he went to step over a small brooklet in his path. His boot slipped on a wet rock, and he fell, ice cold water soaking his hip and side.  
  
“Shit.”  
  
The fall had not helped his melancholy mood or his already-damp clothes. He thought he was prepared for temperatures in the forties, but he clearly was not as prepared as he should have been. The wetness sent the chill deep into his bones, and he was once again cursing himself for his current circumstances.  
  
The smoke turned out to be from a house’s chimney. Alex didn’t see any other homes or buildings, so he figured he was still at least a few miles from town. He had planned to hike all the way there, but considering the state of things, he thought it might be worth attempting to see if someone was home at this place.  
  
The path between his location and the house was reasonably clear of trees, so Alex wasn’t surprised when a man stepped out onto the porch to greet him as he stepped into the manicured part of the yard. What he was surprised by was the handsome figure that stood before him. A bald man, older than him and tall, stood alert but relaxed, wearing what looked to be a soft flannel shirt and jeans. His stature gave the impression of a fit body underneath the unassuming clothing. Attraction pooled in Alex’s gut immediately. Maybe the isolation and loneliness was getting to him.  
  
“Can I help you?”  
  
The deep voice that spoke was pleasant, and didn’t do anything to dispel Alex’s lust. He had come to a stop a few feet short of the steps leading up to the porch.  
  
“I had to hike out of a hunting camp unexpectedly. I was hoping to make it to town today and find a ride, or even just a phone. I’m guessing I’m still a few miles out, so I thought I would try here since I saw the smoke,” Alex finished gesturing vaguely toward the chimney.  
  
The man gave him an assessing look, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.  
  
“The road is going to be wet and sloppy from the snow, so I don’t want to drive into town today and rut it up. Besides, you look like you could use a hot meal and a place to get dry.” Gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder, he continued. “I’ve got a couch in front of a fireplace you can crash on for the night if you’d like.”  
  
Alex didn’t hesitate. That sounded just fine with him, and the man seemed genuine. He breathed out a sigh of relief.  
  
“Thanks. That would be the best thing that’s happened to me all day. The name’s Alex, by the way.”  
  
The other man held out his hand, and Alex closed the distance between them to shake it.  
  
“Walter. Come on in.”  
  
The house was small and held simple, but warm furnishings. The front door opened into a large room that had a kitchen and dining area at one end, and a living area with said fireplace at the other. Alex set his pack on the rug and bent to remove his soggy boots.  
  
“Set your boots by the fire to dry. I can grab you some extra clothes, and we can throw yours in the dryer, if you’d like,” Walter said as he crossed to a hallway that lead farther into the house.  
  
Alex followed after setting his boots on the hearth, and found a short hallway with doors to a bathroom and two bedrooms. One bedroom was clearly Walter’s, and from the looks of it, he lived alone. The other bedroom contained a desk that looked like it was rarely used pushed up against the wall. He waited in the doorway to the master bedroom as Walter rummaged through his dresser.  
  
“Here.” Walter held out sweatpants, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt with “Marines” emblazoned on the chest, and the warmest looking wool socks Alex had ever seen. “We’re about the same height, so it should all fit okay.”  
  
A smile slowly grew on his face and he took the pile of soft fabric from the man. “This is amazing. Thank you.”  
  
That earned Alex a small smile in return. “Glad to be of help. You can grab a hot shower if you want. Towels are under the sink.”  
  
With that, Walter strode toward the kitchen, leaving Alex to decide what to do next. He quickly decided a hot shower would feel good on his chilled skin, and realized he probably smelled like he had been hunting and hiking for the past few days. The least he could do as a houseguest was have good hygiene.  
  
The warm water felt amazing, both to warm him and relax his overworked muscles. He didn’t linger too long though, not wanting to be greedy with this man’s hot water. When he was dressed, he wandered into the kitchen to find Walter peeling potatoes.  
  
“Beef stew ok?”  
  
It was still a little early for supper, but Walter didn’t seem concerned.  
  
“That sounds great.” As if echoing Alex’s sentiment, his stomach growled loudly.  
  
Walter chuckled lightly.  
  
“I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten since having a protein bar for breakfast.”  
  
“How far did you come?” Walter didn’t look up from his work as he talked, but that made the mood comfortable and easy.  
  
“I think at least 10 miles. We were up near Sheep Lake looking for brown bear. My buddy and I have a guide service and had two clients with us.”  
  
Walter looked back at him, curious. “What happened that you had to hike out alone?”  
  
Alex sighed heavily, then was silent for a beat.  
  
“I fucked up. Pissed off the client.”  
  
“I don’t mean to pry if you don’t want to talk about it, but what could you have done to upset someone so much you had to leave in the middle of a hunt?”  
  
Walter’s tone was concerned and genuinely curious. Alex sat at the kitchen table to watch him work, and felt strangely at ease there. He contemplated his options. If he told the truth, he risked the same reaction he had gotten from their client. In the end, he decided he wouldn’t be any worse off if Walter threw him out on his ass than he had been when he first arrived.  
  
“It’s a bit of a long story,” Alex gave Walter one last out.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere for a bit. Coffee?” He moved to fill the empty carafe with water before Alex answered.  
  
“That'd be great, thanks.” He blew out a breath, and began. “Last night we made camp early because it was dark, and the guy talked us into drinking around the fire after dinner. I don’t normally drink with the clients, but it was cold and they seemed pretty laid back. The one guy had just gotten divorced, so he’s going on and on about all the mistakes he’d made getting involved with various women.”  
  
Alex paused, and then laughed bitterly to himself. “His ex is better off without him. He’s an ass. Anyway, so everyone is sort of taking a turn talking about the misbegotten loves of their youth. I’m just drunk enough at this point that I decide to chime in. I launch into my story. I was 19. There was this dancer at a club.” A club his father ran where not all the dancers were exactly of legal age, but he wasn’t going to say that. “I thought it was love. He was just using me for money.”  
  
When he used the pronoun, he looked up, expecting Walter to have a reaction. All he got was a view of the man’s back as he continued to chop carrots in silence. After a moment, the other man noticed the quiet and turned looking expectant.  
  
“And?”  
  
“And this is the part where you realize I slipped up and said ’he’ and throw me out.”  
  
Walter stopped what he was doing, and set down his knife. He turned to lean back against the counter, arms crossed and brow furrowed.  
  
“And why would I do that?”  
  
“Maybe you’re freaked out you invited a fag to sleep in your house? I am wearing your Marines sweatshirt after all.”  
  
Walter shook his head. “Is that what this guy did? Freak out?”  
  
“Yep. Freaked right the fuck out. Called me a fairy and all manner of other names and refused to be within 50 feet of me. He was drunk and wouldn’t calm down. My partner, Mulder, was pissed too and told the guy he could take him back the next day and give him a full refund if he didn’t want to work with us. I couldn’t let that happen though. Mulder’s got a wife and kid to support, and we haven’t been doing this long. We need the money. I told the guy I’d leave first thing in the morning if he wanted to finish the hunt. He had calmed down enough by that point that he agreed. So, I left, and here I am. Hopefully that guy will get a big enough bear he’ll be happy to just ignore me when they get back to the lodge.”  
  
Walter didn’t say anything at first. The coffee had finished brewing, so he poured two cups in silence and brought one over to the table. Alex couldn’t meet his eyes as he set the mug in front of him. He didn’t want to see another sneer of disgust or rejection today.  
  
The hand briefly squeezing his shoulder was a surprise, as were the words that followed.  
  
“That guy was an ignorant dick. I’m sorry. You’re still welcome here. You have nothing to fear from me on that front.”  
  
Alex let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Walter set a bowl of steaming stew in front of him and brought a hearty loaf of bread to the table. They ate in companionable silence; Alex was hungry after his long hike. Maybe this whole day wouldn’t go to shit after all.

\-----

The meal had gone a long way to making Alex feel human again. Afterward, Walter had excused himself to go bring in more wood for the fire. Alex was grateful, as he planned to enjoy an evening in front of the fireplace while he had the opportunity. He decided to be a useful houseguest and do the dishes. There weren’t many, and the task didn’t take long. Soon he was draining the sink and drying his hands, clean dishes sitting neatly in the drying rack.  
  
As he looked up to flip off the switch for the light above the sink, his eyes landed on the edge of a photograph. It was tucked behind a jar on a shelf above the sink. When he pulled it out, he realized that perhaps there was a reason it was hidden away, not out in the open. It was a place where your eyes wouldn’t land on it unexpectedly, bringing fresh pain to a wound, but still kept close for the times someone did want to pull it out and enjoy the memory.  
  
Alex got lost studying the picture. In it, Walter had his arm around another man’s shoulders and was kissing him on the cheek. The other man was brunette with striking cheek bones and had a wide smile on his face that reached his eyes. Their body language was affectionate, and it was clear they were comfortable in each other’s space. It looked like a candid photo someone had snapped of the pair. The edges were worn with age and Walter had clearly been younger in the photo.

  
Maybe there was more to Walter’s positive reaction to Alex’s story than simple tolerance. Maybe he could relate in a personal way. Deep in his musings, Alex didn’t hear the door open as Walter brought in a small bundle of split logs. He was embarrassed to be caught out when Walter spoke.  
  
“His name was John.”  
  
Alex didn’t know what to say by way of apology. He hadn’t missed that Walter had referred to the man in past tense, and he didn’t want to force the man to talk about something that might be both personal and painful. He gently returned the picture to its place, but then stood dumbly in front of the sink, not knowing what his next move should be in this situation.  
  
He watched as Walter set the wood down and crossed to a kitchen cupboard where he pulled down two glasses and some whiskey. He poured some in both glasses before taking one and retreating to stand at the front window. Not that there was much to see since darkness had already descended for the evening, but Alex figured he needed the space.  
  
“We met in the Marines. Served in Lebanon together. We fell in love out there, but it was a different time.”  
  
Sensing Walter was going to continue, Alex took the other drink and made his way to the couch.  
  
“He was this brilliant presence. Strong and every inch the soldier, but also light and carefree when the situation allowed it. We had sort of an on-again, off-again affair going. We’d hook up when and where we could, but we were both career military and not willing to give that up to live openly.”  
  
The older man paused. “Ah, hell. You don’t want to hear my sob story.”  
  
“Don’t overthink it. I’m probably the first person in a long time that can relate to at least part of your past. Besides, I vented my personal problems on you a half hour after showing up, a stranger on your doorstep. At this point, it’s only fair.”  
  
Walter chuckled, but ended on a sigh. “I haven’t talked to anyone about him since he died. We had a couple close friends that knew, and they attended the funeral, but then I ran. I came here and I’ve just been going through the motions for the last few years.”  
  
“Can I ask what happened?”  
  
“Like I said, it was a different time. We both even attempted to marry women at one point. You can guess as to how well that went.”  
  
Alex laughed lightly at Walter’s self-deprecating tone.  
  
“Anyway, it took years for us to get our heads out of our asses and really make some decisions about how we wanted to live our lives, but eventually we decided to leave the Marines and live together. I retired first. We wanted to settle in D.C. I found a job in accounting. A middle management, boring-suit kind of job. It wasn’t anything really exciting, but it was something I was good at that would allow me the freedom to live how I wanted. John was in talks with a private security company, and the plan was for him to join me after his last deployment.”  
  
Walter paused again, and Alex simply let the silence settle over them as he waited the other man out.  
  
His voice was rough as he continued. “John’s last deployment was part of the NATO peacekeeping mission in Bosnia. He was killed by a landmine. It was 2003. Five years ago already.”  
  
Walter’s voice cracked and he stopped for a moment. He came to join Alex, sitting on the other end of the couch. When he continued, his voice was steady, but betrayed his emotions that were riding just under the surface.  
  
“He bled out in front of his CO. He was a good man though, and gave me the dignity of telling me in person. I think he suspected the true nature of our relationship, and I’m grateful for it. It was a small piece of comfort in the face of my anger and grief over something so senseless happening to John out in the field while I was home sitting behind a desk.”  
  
Alex moved then, spurred on by the depth of emotion Walter was obviously trying to contain. He placed his hand on the broad forearm nearest him.  
  
“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say in the face of such loss. “And I’m sorry for prying into something so personal.”  
  
“No,” Walter said before clearing his throat. “I’m glad I could talk to someone about it after all this time. I isolated myself here on purpose, but now I’m thinking that may not have been the healthiest thing.”  
  
Alex couldn’t disagree, but he was no poster child for healthy relationships either. His friendship with Fox and Dana had practically been forced on him when he was determined to sacrifice himself for their safety. Now, they were each other’s family, having left everyone else behind.  
  
Walter continued. “My original intent in coming here wasn’t to become a recluse. It was just easier than trying to explain to everyone that I had lost the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I came because it was what John wanted. He wanted to travel together after we were out of the military. Alaska was first on his list. I needed to get away after the funeral and booked a one-way ticket, thinking I would take some time to myself and go back when I was ready.”  
  
Alex hadn’t moved his hand from Walter’s arm, but the man didn’t seem uncomfortable with his continued contact. He had been attracted to this man since he set eyes on him, and the more that was revealed, the more he wanted to act on that attraction. He didn’t feel like he could ever allow himself a real relationship, and it had always seemed too risky to try picking someone up for a one night stand in one of the small nearby towns, but maybe he and Walter could have a night of comfort together.

“Look,” Alex said as he turned in toward Walter further. “I know you don't know me that well, but I'm guessing we might both enjoy forgetting the outside world for a little while.”

As he spoke, Alex used his far hand to caress Walter’s cheek, turning the other man’s face to meet his own. They hung there as silence stretched. Walter met his eyes, and Alex could see the emotions course through him as he processed the idea. The expression that came to settle on the striking features of his face was one Alex knew well: rejection and anger.

“I don't want a pity fuck.” Walter sneered, pulling back and standing defiantly.

“Whoa!” Alex stood as well, palms out in supplication. “That is the furthest thing from what I had in mind. I will freely admit that I've lived my life from hook-up to hook-up, never really bothering with more than a one-night stand. But Walter, this is no pity fuck.”

Alex ran his hands through his hair. “Maybe I let myself get a little too caught up in the moment with you, but that right there should tell you what you need to know. I like you. You've drawn me in from the beginning.”

"What?" Walter still didn't understand what Alex was saying.

“You're really hot and we clearly have at least a little in common here. I think we could have fun together. That's all I was trying to say.”

Walter appeared to struggle a bit more with the decision but suddenly broke into decisive action.

"My bed beats that couch any day. Come on.”

With that, Alex found himself being pulled by the hand Walter had grabbed down the short corridor to the master bedroom. He smiled to himself and hoped this would be as good as he'd fantasized about in the shower earlier.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Walter wasted no time in pulling them back to the bedroom and closing the door behind them. His bedroom had just a few pieces of furniture: a tall dresser, an armchair, one nightstand next to the bed, and a large bed on a sturdy wood frame outfitted in warm colors with a thick comforter.  
  
Walter let Alex go in favor of walking over to turn on the bedside lamp. He came back to stand in front of Alex but seemed to lose momentum. Not wanting him to feel pressured, Alex took the lead again.  
  
“We don’t have to do anything, Walter. I mean it. I think you’re sexy as hell, and I want this, but I know I just dropped into your life here.”  
  
Walter sighed and stepped into Alex’s space, placing his hands at the brunette’s waist.  
  
“You have seen yourself, right? You came out of the woods, right to my front door, a walking wet dream in flannel.” Alex chuckled at the description, but let Walter continue. “You were honest with me from the start, and you’re unafraid to be yourself, even after dealing with someone who hated you for it. That self-confident, defiant streak is really appealing. Then, you let me tell my story and listened with compassion. I just… haven't done much of this since John, and I'm kind of surprised at how comfortable I feel around you.  
  
Alex had a pang of regret at Walter’s words because there was a big part of his life that he wasn’t being honest about. He might never tell anyone here about his past. Alaska was practically the land of the clean slate and fresh start, and people who were self-made. He reminded himself that he wasn’t here for a relationship. He was here for some mutual gratification on his way through, and Walter wanted the same. In that moment, neither of their pasts mattered.  
  
Alex hummed as he leaned in, his mouth hovering just a breath away from Walter’s. “Ok, I get it. We’re both on the same page. Enough talking now.”  
  
He closed the distance between them and their lips met. Their kiss turned hot and dirty quickly, as they opened their mouths to each other. Alex felt a spike of desire in his gut as Walter closed his arms around him, pulling them together from chest to hips. It was long moments before they finally broke for air. Walter was participating enthusiastically, but he still seemed hesitant about taking control. That was fine with Alex; he had plenty of his own ideas of where he’d like this to go.

Alex began kissing along Walter’s jawline, softer goatee giving way to raspy stubble. He continued down to the collar of the man’s soft thermal henley, and pulled it aside to lick and suck at the hollow of his collar bone. Walter’s breathing became heavier, and as Alex lifted his lips and sank gracefully to his knees, a soft gasp escaped.

After all the talking that was done earlier in the evening, they both seemed to be out of words in that moment. He began to run his mouth along Walter's hardening cock through his jeans, running his hands slowly up and down the fabric covering the muscled thighs before him. The sensations were working to ramp up his own arousal, and he didn't wait any longer to begin unfastening Walter’s belt and pants.

With the pants open, Alex carefully slid them along with boxers, down to reveal Walter's generous shaft, now fully hard. Alex didn't consider himself a size queen, but as soon as he saw it, he knew he wanted Walter to fill him up.

“Oh my god. Please tell me you'll fuck me with that.”

Broken out of his pleasured daze, Walter opened his eyes and turned his warm brown gaze on Alex. The eye contact seemed to unlock something in Walter. He reached to grasp a handful of Alex’s hair with one hand, while slowly stroking himself.

"Can you take all of this?”

“Hell yes! It's been a while so you're going to need to stretch me, but, yeah, I want you inside me.”

Walter blew out a breath, nodding, and without another word guided Alex’s mouth to the head of his cock. Alex loved sucking cock, and drew in a deep breath as he wrapped his lips around it and began taking it into his mouth. He relaxed his throat as he went, and paused to swallow around the head, while wrapping fingers around what he couldn't reach with his lips and tongue.

He played for a few minutes, stroking random patterns with mouth and hand that had Walter shuddering above him. Soon Walter was tugging him off, and easing him up to stand once again. Hands on each side of his face drew him in for a kiss that was blazing in intensity. Then Walter moved his hands to the hem of the sweatshirt Alex was still wearing and began pulling it up.

Fully on board with having less clothing between them, Alex helped get himself and then Walter undressed. Once they were both naked, he couldn't stop himself from running his hands over the older man’s furred chest. Walter hummed in pleasure when he grazed over his nipples. Alex leaned in for another kiss but was held back with a large hand splayed across his sternum while Walter looked up and down his naked form, lust-blown pupils taking in every detail.

Walter then used said hand to walk Alex backward the few steps until his calves hit the bed. He crawled onto it, lying back and spreading his legs in invitation as Walter watched. He wasn't alone on the bed for long though. Walter practically pounced on his supine form; mouths crushed together and hands roamed.

After a few minutes, Walter moved off to reach into the nightstand drawer, coming back with supplies. The look he gave Alex was intense, and to give himself a little separation, Alex rolled to his stomach. After only a moment, two fingers stroked a cool trail of lube down his lower back to his crack. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, enjoying the anticipation. Walter's fingers continued down and began circling around his hole. The teasing was delicious, but it wasn't drawn out too long before a long finger was sinking slowly but steadily into him.

Alex let out a low moan as he felt the finger pull back and start to thrust in and out of him. He opened to it easily, and Walter didn't make him wait, working up to three fingers quickly. Alex was panting with want by the time he felt Walter pull back to put on a condom and slick himself.

Despite the preparation, the blunt pressure of Walter’s cock stretched him further. He pushed forward slowly, pausing a few times to give Alex a chance to adjust. Time became sort of lost to him as he processed all the pleasurable sensations. After some time, his thoughts cleared enough that he realized Walter was fully inside him, leaning above him with most of his weight supported on his elbows, forehead resting between Alex’s shoulder blades.

Alex moved then, pushing just slightly back into the man above him.

“You with me?” Walter spoke softly, voice rough and deeper than ever.

“Fuck. Yes. Please.”

Alex pushed back again, causing the other man to grunt behind him.

“Please, Walter!”

The begging worked, because Walter moved, pulling Alex with him by the hips, until they were both on their knees. Alex leaned forward onto his elbows, offering himself eagerly. Walter only hesitated a second before pulling back and thrusting all the way forward again quickly. Alex moaned and began pushing back into the thrusts as they continued. A sharp grunt of pleasure escaped Alex when Walter found an angle where he could stroke across his prostate.

The rapid pace and full sensation had Alex rushing toward his climax. He hadn't allowed himself this with another man in a long time, and he couldn't hold off for long. His skin was heated and he felt strung too tight as the sensations built within him. Without a touch to his own cock, he was suddenly crying out an intense release.

He felt Walter slow for a moment as he shuddered through it, and then his thrusts were erratic as he chased and found his own release moments later. He was quiet and intent as the pleasure overtook him.

Alex felt him carefully pull out and leave the bed. He slumped to the side of the mess he had made of the sheets and closed his eyes, feeling relaxed and sated. After a moment, Walter returned and brushed a hand over his arm. Alex opened his eyes and took the damp cloth offered to quickly clean up.

That done, Walter climbed back into bed next to Alex, pulling on his arm until he lay along his side. They drifted like that a few moments before Walter broke the silence.

“Thank you. That was really good.”

Alex smiled into Walter's chest where his head rested. “Yeah. Your cock is pretty much perfect.”

Walter barked out a surprised laugh at that.

“Says the man with the ass that could inspire sonnets.”

Alex’s grin widened momentarily before fading. He let his thoughts spin out as he simply enjoyed the pleasure of sharing a bed with a lover. He only spared a moment to wish it could be something more than one night. He couldn't have that in his old life, and he didn't feel like he could have that now. He was solely dedicated to making this work for the Mulder family and keeping them all safe. He had tonight, and he would appreciate it for what it was.

Alex heard Walter mutter a quiet goodnight as he let his thoughts slow enough that he could drift into sleep.

\-----

Walter had slept later than he usually did and had awakened to a gorgeous man in his arms. He woke both sated and relaxed, and oddly regretful of their intense encounter. He had rarely indulged in purely physical couplings in the past, and even though Alex had a certain quality of aloofness, he sensed a deeper longing in the man under the veneer of his outward strength.  
  
His thoughts circled around in the same vein as he quietly prepared them breakfast. He had snuck out of bed, figuring the other man could use a little extra sleep after his long day yesterday, and decided to bake them some muffins with the cranberries he had picked a couple weeks earlier and stashed in the freezer. Walter was just putting them in the oven, when Alex shuffled into the kitchen wearing yesterday’s sweatpants and nothing else.  
  
As he straightened and closed the oven, he took a moment to appreciate the view before him. Distracted momentarily, he was surprised when Alex continued right into his space and slid sleep-warm arms around him in an embrace. Walter couldn’t stop himself from returning the hug, and indulged in leaning his nose in to smell the other man’s hair, possessively enjoying the scent of his own shampoo mixed with Alex’s scent.  
  
“Mm. Thanks again for an amazing night.” Alex’s voice was still raspy from sleep.  
  
Walter stopped short then, and pulled back to look at him, brows furrowed.  
  
Alex broke in before he could do more than open his mouth to speak. “Stop. I know that look. Don’t think you took advantage of me. Believe me, for better or worse I’ve lived my whole life like this. I went in with my eyes open, and knew exactly what I would and wouldn’t get out of it. I just hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did.”  
  
Walter was silent a moment, contemplating the sincerity of Alex’s statement. He decided to take it at face value. They had both gotten what they wanted out of their night together, and he didn’t need to feel guilty about it.  
  
“You were incredible,” Walter broke into a wide smile as he spoke. “I still need to work on that sonnet about your ass though.” As he said it, he reached down and squeezed two firm handfuls.  
  
Alex laughed and pushed away, retreating to the bedroom. Walter had the coffee brewing by the time he returned wearing the sweatshirt from yesterday. There was a chill in the house that morning, and Walter wondered if there was time to curl up on the couch and enjoy a fire before they had to head into town.  
  
They sat at the kitchen table with coffee while the muffins finished baking.  
  
“What are your plans for the day? Are there any chores I can help with before I bum a ride?” Alex asked casually.  
  
“I have a neighbor who lives up the road a bit. I was going to split some more wood to drop off with her. She’s in her eighties now, and I don’t want her to be without firewood if her furnace goes out during winter.” The timer beeped, and Walter stood to pull out the muffins. “I was going to drop it by her place on my way into town, if that’s ok.”  
  
“I’d be happy to help. It’s the least I can do for imposing on you like this.”  
  
“Believe me. You are no hardship to have around,” Walter replied with a glint of amusement in his eyes.  
  
Alex laughed, and they both tucked into their breakfast enthusiastically. There was some easy small talk, but nothing more serious, and Walter couldn’t remember the last time he’d let himself be this carefree. It almost felt like a betrayal to John, but he tried to push that guilt away. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, John wouldn’t have liked the choices Walter had made since his passing. He would have wanted Walter to build a new life like they had intended all along, and he wouldn’t begrudge him the comfort of finding someone new.  
  
After breakfast, Alex dressed in his now-dry clothes and boots and followed Walter outside to the shed where a pile of cut logs was stacked neatly, waiting to be split. Walter showed him the powered log splitter.  
  
“When I started bringing Bella firewood, I invested in one of these.”  
  
Alex shook his head. “Actually, if you have an ax, I wouldn’t mind a little manual labor right now. I still have some aggression to work out over that asshole yesterday, and I enjoy that kind of work.”  
  
Walter acquiesced and brought out his ax. He watched Alex start working for a few minutes before going back inside to get some laundry and cleaning done.

When he reemerged a while later, he found Alex was almost finished. He began stacking the split wood neatly in the bed of his pickup. When Alex was done splitting, he joined Walter in loading the truck. He had taken off his flannel shirt and was just wearing his tight-fitting, black t-shirt that was damp, as was the rest of him, with a sheen of sweat.

As Alex strode toward him with the last armful of wood, Walter watched the play of muscles in his arms shamelessly. He took the wood, turning slightly to set it behind him, then leaned against the tailgate and spread his legs. Alex smiled as he was pulled in by his belt loops. They both let out a small gasp as their groins made contact.

“You seem to have gotten a little dirty,” Walter said as he flicked a piece of sawdust off of Alex’s shirt. “Care to join me for a shower?”

Alex smiled. “I really like the way you think, Walt.”

Walter laughed and pulled him in for a slow, sexy slide of tongues and lips. This time it was Alex who broke away first and lead Walter by the hand to the bathroom. They stripped efficiently and stepped in under the spray.

More kissing left them both hard and panting. Walter wasn't in the mood to wait, so he reached behind them and grabbed the body wash, lathering his hands quickly. Then he crowded Alex and held him close with one arm while wrapping his free hand around their cocks.

He returned his mouth to Alex’s as he began to stroke. They both shuddered at the contact, just enough friction between them. Walter slowly increased his pace and knew Alex was almost there when he moaned into the kiss.

On the next upstroke, he slid his thumb over the head of Alex’s cock, and the younger man jerked and came, breathy moans leaving his lips. When Alex recovered, he pushed him back and fell to his knees.

Wet hands wiped the soap away and a warm mouth took him in quickly. With a few bobs of his head, Alex had Walter shouting his release. Walter dazedly reflected that there was nothing hotter than the man before him licking come from the corner of his lips as he stood.

He couldn't have stopped himself from leaning forward to kiss into Alex’s mouth. He tasted the remnants of his own release on the warm, swollen lips. They parted on a sigh, Walter closing his eyes against the surge of emotions welling up.

He knew it was probably dangerous for his own heart, but he wanted this man for more than a night.

“When are you expected to be back?” Walter found himself speaking into the humid air.

“They’ll be on the hunt for at least another day.”

Alex wasn't giving away anything Walter could use to get a read on him, but he pressed on anyway.

“Stay? Another night? I have really enjoyed this. Having someone to share a meal with. Someone to share a bed with. Let's have one more night of fun together.”

He knew his voice was probably revealing too much emotion, but he had to take the chance. Alex seemed to think about his answer before he gave it. Walter was almost sure he would turn him down, needing to keep his distance like he apparently had with everyone he'd taken to bed up until now.

“Yeah,” Alex started softly, seemingly unsure of his answer. “Yeah, that sounds really nice.”

One more night. Walter would give him a ride back to Talkeetna tomorrow. That meant he should make the most of his time with this beautiful man today.

\-----

After they had finished their shower and dried themselves, Walter pushed them toward the bed, still naked.

“What are you—

“Nap time,” Walter interrupted.

“Nap time?” Alex questioned with an amused smirk.

“Yes. Nap time. As much as the idea of just getting each other off the rest of the time you're here is appealing, I don't think either of us is physically capable of that, so nap time.”

Alex didn't protest any further, and let Walter guide him under the freshly-laundered sheets. Walter pulled the heavy comforter over them and spooned up behind the younger man. He curled an arm around his waist, and they both drifted off quickly.

Walter woke a short time later feeling refreshed. He lay for a few minutes just enjoying the warmth of all the naked skin pressed against his. Alex was still deeply asleep, and Walter figured the other man deserved a little more recovery time after the hiking and physical work he'd done the last few days.

Walter carefully extricated himself from the bed, pleased that Alex was relaxed enough not to be roused by the motion. He was slightly regretful at leaving the warm nest of blankets with dark hair sticking out of them behind, but he wanted to get that wood delivered today, even if he wouldn't be going all the way into town.

After dressing and scrawling a quick note for Alex in case he woke up before Walter was back, he headed out to the truck and down the narrow, dirt road toward his neighbor. Bella Victor was a widow in her eighties, but she was relatively healthy for her age and still had a sharp mind. She lived in the home she had built on the river with her husband decades before. They had been some of the original homesteaders in the area, having moved there in the sixties.

Bella’s husband had passed several years ago, but she was stubborn and wanted to stay in her home. She had three grown children, but only one lived close enough to help. The other two lived outside, having both moved to California years ago. The eldest son, Mark, lived a couple hours away near Anchorage. Walter had met him once when he had stopped to check in on Bella during his visit.

Despite Walter being largely successful in his self-imposed isolation, Bella had been one of those people who refused to let him stay at arm’s length. The day he moved in, she was driving down his driveway and knocking on his door with a plate of cookies. Somehow within minutes, he had found himself seated with her at his kitchen table drinking coffee and eating cookies and listening to her give him a history of the area. Ever since then, she adopted him like one of her own children and expected him to drop by regularly to hear the local gossip.  
  
He actually came to enjoy his relationship with the elder woman and found ways to help her where he could. He knew Mark looked out for her, but it was easy enough for Walter to check in on her frequently, or call her up to ask if she needed groceries or a ride into town. In return, he got hours of stories of the early days of the community and life raising her kids in Alaska, and some of the best chocolate chip cookies around. He had never revealed much of his own personal history to Bella, but she seemed to have a sixth sense about him and his moods and knew just what to say on days when he was feeling the loss of John more acutely.  
  
Walter pulled up her driveway and backed his truck up to the side of the house where there was a small lean-to for firewood. He began unloading and was nearly done when he heard the front door open. A head of short, white hair came into view around the corner of the house.  
  
“You come on in for coffee when you’re done, Walter.”  
  
He thought about refusing, wanting to get back to the man in his bed, but he knew better than to disobey the lady. He could afford a few minutes of conversation.  
  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
  
The only response was the sound of the front door closing. He finished quickly and headed inside to the kitchen. A steaming mug was set before him along with a plate of cookies. He grabbed one and began eating while he waited for Bella to join him at the table with her own mug.  
  
“You heading into town after this? I could use some milk, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“Actually, I’m heading back home. Have a houseguest. I’ll run tomorrow though.”  
  
Walter hadn’t thought anything of the comment until he saw Bella’s eyes brighten with curiosity. Well, shit. Now he was in for an interrogation.  
  
“A houseguest? I didn’t see any cars come up the road.”  
  
Walter rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. “Guy hiked out of a hunting camp. Ended up at my place yesterday, wet and cold from the snow. Road was still wet, so I offered him a place to stay and dry out. I’ll give him a ride into town tomorrow.”  
  
“Hm,” Bella took a slow sip of coffee. “Anyone I would know?”  
  
He might as well keep talking. He knew the woman well enough to know she wouldn’t let up until she heard her fill.  
  
“Name is Alex. I guess I didn’t ask for a last name. He runs a guide business with his friend.”  
  
“You’re not giving him a ride in until tomorrow?”  
  
Walter tried to hide his blush, but he wasn’t sure he was totally successful.  
  
“Yeah. He—ah—wanted to help with some chores in return for my hospitality.”  
  
Bella was quiet for a moment, intelligent gaze making Walter resist squirming where he sat.  
  
“Oh, I’m sure you’re being perfectly hospitable,” she said with a mischievous smile. “After all, you’re known for your sparkling, outgoing personality.”  
  
Now he knew he was blushing. He cleared his throat and looked into the depths of his cup, as if it held the answers to the universe.  
  
“Oh, come on, Walter. You deserve a little fun. I sure hope you’re showing that man a good time!” She waggled her eyebrows and giggled at him over her mug.  
  
Walter sputtered. He’d never told Bella about that side of himself, not sure how someone of her generation would react.  
  
“What, you thought I didn’t know? Bachelor at your age; and you have the look of having lost someone you loved very much. Believe me, I know that look well. I figured you never wanted to risk talking about it because he was a man.” She cleared her throat and gave him a mock stern look. “Well, no more hiding that nonsense from me, young man. After all, I’m a modern woman! I use that Skype program to video chat with my grandkids once a week!”  
  
He smiled and laughed a little at that. The woman was a force to be reckoned with, no matter her age.  
  
“Thanks, Bella. I can bring some milk by on my way back tomorrow.” He stood to leave.  
  
“That’d be appreciated. Now, you'd best not be keeping your man waiting. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll want to stick around.”  
  
“That’s a nice thought, but it’s not like that,” and how he came to be discussing his sex life with his octogenarian neighbor he would never really know. “We’re just enjoying a couple days together.”  
  
“Hm. Too bad.” She made a waving motion with her hand toward herself, and Walter obediently bent to kiss her cheek.  
  
“Give me a call if you need anything. I’ll be back tomorrow.”  
  
“Take your time!” She called out to him as he opened the front door. He was still shaking his head at the surreal conversation as he climbed into his truck.

\-----

Alex hummed in pleasure as a warm naked body wrapped around him from behind, waking him from a long nap. His sound of pleasure ended abruptly in a grunt of surprise, however, when a cold nose made contact with the nape of his neck.

“Why is your nose cold?” he asked petulantly.

Walter’s chuckle rumbled through his chest.

“I was outside.”

“And what the hell were you doing outside instead of naked in bed with me?”

“Delivering the wood, and somehow ended up coming out to my 83 year old neighbor.”

Alex turned over to face Walter, an amused smile on his face. “Now this sounds like a story I need to hear.”

“Well, she sort of guessed.”

Alex just raised his eyebrows awaiting explanation.

“The thing with Bella is that she kind of adopted me against my will,” Walter continued. “She called me in for coffee and cookies and got out of me that I had a mysterious houseguest.”

Alex smiled. He liked the sound of this lady already.

“I can't keep anything from the woman. She just keeps on with the cookies and the uncomfortable eye contact until you're giving up government secrets.” Walter began stroking lazy patterns up and down Alex’s arm as he talked. “So pretty soon I've told her how you showed up and I won't be driving back into town until tomorrow, and from that she somehow infers I've found true love and we're having some big gay affair up here.”

The huff of indignation that followed Walter's statement had Alex laughing.

“I'm sorry I missed meeting her. She sounds like an awesome lady.”

“Yeah, when she's not being a stubborn meddling mother hen.” Walter rolled to his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“I don't even know how she guessed. I've never told her about John, and somehow she had an idea about that too.”

He turned his head to look at Alex, and those brown eyes focused intently on his own.

“I think she’s hoping to get an adopted son-in-law.”

The silence spun out between them as Alex tried to formulate a response to that. Walter wouldn't have brought it up unless it was something he thought he might want, but Alex couldn't give himself to anyone that way. Walter didn't really know him.

Alex lay in bed with this man who had no idea who he really was. This good man, who had served his country and took care of his elderly neighbor, was sleeping with a petty criminal. A criminal turned narc who endangered innocent people in his selfish desire to save his own skin.

The silence stretched too long, and Walter tried to make his case.  
  
“I know we jumped into this fast, but we could give it a real try. See where it goes.”  
  
The longer Alex hesitated the more closed-off he could see Walter becoming. He regretted taking away the easy, self-assuredness from this man.  
  
“You don’t really know me. I’m not really a good person, Walter. Not nearly good enough for you. You don’t want someone like me.”  
  
Walter abruptly turned to get out of bed, but he paused sitting on the edge, back to Alex.  
  
“I don’t really think you have a right to tell me what I do or don’t want.” Walter paused again and sighed. “I’m sorry. This was casual fun when we started, and if you don’t want more, I’ll accept that. This was the first time since John that I even felt like there was a possibility for more. For a relationship. So, thank you for that.”  
  
Walter stood and briskly pulled on sleep pants and a t-shirt before leaving the room. Once he had left Alex flopped onto his back. Here he was thinking this would be easy with no strings attached, and now he was hurting someone else, even if it was in a small way. And he most definitely wasn’t ready to admit to himself how tied up in knots he was over the thought of never seeing Walter again after tomorrow.  
  
Alex lay there a few more minutes, figuring Walter would appreciate the space right now. He couldn’t stay in the room forever though, so eventually he dressed and went to find him. Walter was standing at the kitchen counter making a sandwich. He glanced back as he heard Alex approach.  
  
“We sort of slept through lunch. Want one?” he asked gesturing to the ingredients spread out.  
  
Alex felt compelled to fix this somehow. “Look, I can go if you want. There’s still plenty of daylight. I could probably hike back to town from here.”  
  
Walter put down the knife he was using to spread mayonnaise, and turned to face Alex.  
  
“No. You’re more than welcome to stay. Hell, I wouldn’t say no to having you in my bed again tonight, if that’s what you want. I know where the boundaries are, and I’m perfectly ok with that.”  
  
Alex was grateful in that moment for the natural ability of some men to be emotionally repressed. The two of them had just had this vulnerable moment together, and yet they could still shove all that away, and he could get fucked into the mattress at least one more time before he left. It didn’t mean they were going to leave unaffected, but that was a worry for another day.  
  
Alex smiled. “Yeah, that sounds great. I was going to be really sad if I only got to be filled with that beautiful cock once.”  
  
Walter laughed and tossed a piece of lettuce back at Alex. They finished making sandwiches and took them to the couch, turning on the TV to find something mindless to watch while they ate.


	4. Chapter 4

They had eaten and then sat, giving idle commentary on the college football game they had found. It was comfortable. Alex found himself relaxing back into the easy rapport they shared before. As they relaxed, the passion between them began to simmer again.

During the game, Alex had moved to lean against Walter's side. The man was now tracing idle patterns on his shoulder. The game ended, and Alex didn't hesitate to lean up and draw Walter into a kiss. It was hot and sweet. They played on equal footing, exchanging nips and licks back and forth. Walter stood and pulled him up, leading them back to the bedroom. Once there, he stopped Alex with hands on his shoulders, looking intently into his eyes.

Alex felt compelled to obey the unspoken order. Walter clearly had an idea of what he wanted, and Alex was completely on board with following his lead. Deft hands slid under his shirt and he lifted his arms as it was pulled up over his head and off.

Alex sucked in a sharp breath when Walter then knelt before him and slid his pants down and off each foot. He was mesmerized as the man looked up at him. He felt uncomfortably exposed in a way, but at the same time unafraid to be so open in Walter’s presence.

Little more thought was given to those feelings though, because Walter gripped his now naked hips and placed his mouth around the head of his cock. Alex couldn't help but toss his head back, eyes closed in pleasure when Walter began flicking his tongue over the slit. Then he was slowly but steadily taking more of Alex into his mouth.

Alex forced himself to look down at the man currently working his cockhead with his throat. The sight of those amber eyes looking back up at him, clear and lustful, was almost his undoing. He bit his lip in an effort to maintain control.

Walter must have sensed how close he was because he gently pulled back and stood. He quickly removed his own clothes and then guided Alex to lie back on the bed. Alex didn't question following his lead anymore. He wordlessly watched Walter climb over him on the bed, leaning up to steal a quick kiss when his face was close enough. Walter didn't break his intense gaze as he moved between Alex’s spread legs and brought his mouth back down to the hard cock before him.

Alex let out a low moan of pleasure this time and relaxed back into the mattress. Walter teased him, bobbing slowly up and down, before moving off again. Alex couldn't keep himself quiet any longer.

“Oh god. Please don't stop!”

“Shh. I got you.”

Alex acquiesced, breathing deeply, as Walter pulled his legs farther apart. His hips almost flew off the bed when he felt a warm tongue licking a stripe down his perineum and across his entrance. Walter held his hips firmly and began circling and thrusting his tongue randomly in and around his hole. The unpredictability had Alex on edge in no time.

As the onslaught of pleasure continued, he realized there was noise once more accompanying their motions. A litany of “please” and “fuck” and “yes” was falling roughly from Alex’s lips.

He felt himself suddenly ready to fall over that edge into perfect bliss. His words turned to unintelligible moans as his orgasm rushed through him. Alex felt Walter lay his forehead against his thigh as he panted and shuddered through the aftershocks.

They stayed like that for a minute or two before Walter moved to lie next to Alex on the bed. He stroked a large finger down the still-heaving chest, through the come striped there. Alex shuddered again as he watched Walter bring it to his mouth and lick it clean.

“You're so beautiful like this,” Walter murmured lowly.

The intimacy of the moment coupled with Walter's bald statement had Alex turning his face away to hide how much he was affected. Walter was quiet for a minute, letting the younger man regain his composure. Alex took a deep breath and rolled to face him, the emotion of the moment having passed.

“Your mouth is incredible.”  
  
Walter smiled. “I’ve had that in mind since I laid eyes on you, but I had no idea you’d be so responsive.”  
  
Alex chuckled. He was experienced enough at his age not to be embarrassed, and he appreciated a man who knew what he was doing. And Walter definitely knew what he was doing.  
  
“Seems to me that we’re not done yet, though.” Alex looked down to Walter’s cock pointedly. It was flushed and leaking, standing out between them.  
  
Walter simply hummed in response and pushed Alex onto his back once again. He kept moving over him, reaching across to grab lube and a condom from the nightstand. Walter kissed Alex’s shoulder affectionately on his way back. Alex was lost watching Walter’s expressive face as he prepped him. It didn’t take much for him to be ready in his already loose and relaxed state.  
  
Alex watched Walter move slowly and with deliberation to put on the condom and line himself up. Brown eyes met green as he slowly pushed inside. Alex was already half hard again, surprising himself. When Walter’s hips were pressed up against his ass, they hung there, just breathing. Alex was still somewhat relaxed from his previous orgasm, and was content to wait it out. Anticipation only made the pleasure sweeter, after all.  
  
Walter was the first to move, slowly pulling back and slowly moving forward again. He made long and measured thrusts until they were both sheened in sweat and breathing heavily. Alex moved a leg to Walter’s shoulder in an effort to change their angle and was rewarded when he felt the frisson of heat course through him.  
  
The man moving above him took advantage of the new angle and began thrusting hard and fast, taking Alex from lazy pleasure to burning need almost instantly. He cried out and gave in to his need to stroke himself in time with Walter’s thrusts. In seconds he was coming again, adding to the mess still drying across his stomach and chest. Walter’s thrusts grew erratic and he groaned deeply as his stilled and came.  
  
After a few moments, Walter gently pulled himself free and got up to head toward the bathroom. Alex decided a shower would be easier and stood on still shaky legs to follow. It was Alex’s turn to direct the other man, as he turned on the water and motioned for Walter to step under the spray. Words weren’t needed as they embraced and simply stood for a moment in each other’s arms under the hot water.  
  
Alex moved first to lather his hands and began massaging Walter’s scalp. He turned his efforts to clean the man into a full body massage, working his way down shoulders and back, across chest and stomach, and down each leg in turn. When he stood, finally finished, he found Walter bracing one elbow on the wall to his side, eyes closed, forehead pressed to his arm.  
  
Alex placed his hands on either side of the man’s face and brought him up for a chaste kiss. He smiled when Walter opened his eyes.  
  
“Thank you,” Alex spoke first.  
  
Walter chuffed out a laugh. “I should thank you. Here you are, this incredibly gorgeous guy, dropped on my doorstep, and what am I? A lonely bachelor on the best of days. You put your friends before yourself in that situation back at the camp and have helped me out here. You're a good man, and are clearly out of my league.”

As Walter spoke Alex felt his expression hardening. He was not a good man. He was a selfish man who wanted to live a different life and took a family of three down with him. He turned away and quickly washed himself so he could step out of the shower. He had almost made it, when a hand closed over his wet shoulder.

“Alex, what’s the matter?”

He shrugged off Walter’s hand and stepped out of the tub. Grabbing a towel, Alex dried himself with quick, jerky movements and headed back to the bedroom. By the time Walter caught up with him, towel wrapped around his waist, he had pulled on sweatpants and had grabbed a blanket, intent on spending the night on the couch.  
  
Walter stopped him in the hallway with a hand on his chest. “What is it? What did I say?”  
  
Alex looked up at Walter then, anger in his eyes, even if it was directed inward. “I’m not a good man, Walter. You don’t know me! Don’t know where I came from or what I’ve done; don’t know why the hell I ended up here in the first place. You don’t even know my last name!”  
  
He blew out a breath, finally losing some steam. “My name is Alex Krycek, and I am definitely not a good man. I’ll take the couch tonight.”  
  
Walter appeared a little stunned at the vehemence of Alex’s reaction, so it was easy to push him aside and continue into the living room. When Walter didn’t immediately follow, Alex thought he had finally pushed him away. It was probably for the best. Alex arranged the blanket to his liking and settled on his side, facing toward the back of the couch.  
  
His thoughts were finally calming as he slowed his breathing when he heard footsteps. The cushions dipped near where his knees were bent, and a hand settled on his thigh.  
  
“You’re right,” Walter spoke softly into the room. “I don’t know you. I don’t know anything about your past. You know a little of mine, but not all of it. And you know what? I don’t really care. If you want to tell me, I’ll listen, but it won’t change what I know of you now. It won’t change my attraction to you or the memories I’ll have of these last couple days.”  
  
Alex cursed internally at this stubborn, loyal man. How Walter could be that optimistic after having lived through the tragedy he had, Alex couldn’t understand. He had lived through his own share of shit over the years, and he had come through it more depressed and paranoid than ever. He lay in silence, determined not to reveal how truly fucked up his life was to this honorable man.  
  
Eventually Walter sighed and made to leave. Even before he consciously registered it, Alex was speaking softly.  
  
“My family is Russian.”  
  
“What?” Walter stopped where he had stood and waited.  
  
Alex realized in that moment that at some level he trusted this man, and for once he wanted someone to know all of him. He turned and sat up, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. Walter settled into the nearby armchair, patiently waiting for Alex to continue.  
  
“My family is Russian. They settled in New York. And when I said family, I mean with a capital F, because my father runs the mafia in the Brighton Beach area.”  
  
He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his damp hair before continuing. “My father raised me as the son he wanted to succeed him - until I was fifteen and another boy’s father caught us together. He told my father, of course. My father dismissed it as rumors publicly, but I knew he knew what I was. I never got a position in the chain of command when I came of age. I was always outside, without a real place among his men.”  
  
Alex paused then to gauge Walter’s reaction. The man was watching him with a placid expression. Not judgmental or concerned, simply accepting the information.  
  
“My half-sister, Marita, she was sort of in the same boat I was. Not willing to be married off, but she wouldn’t really be allowed any real power within the family either. We were close.” Alex could see Walter’s brow furrow at his use of the past tense.  
  
“The thing is, the older I got and the more shit I saw, the less I really wanted to be any more involved. I did what was required by my father to keep him happy and off my back, but no more. Marita, she got the idea that she could work her way in further if she made a big power grab. She talked about it in vague terms, like a theoretical idea she might put into play someday if the right opportunity came along. I had no idea when the moment came, what she had been planning.” He blew out a harsh breath. “She held a gun to the head of one of my father’s lieutenants, and instead of him giving her his place, he sat by while the man’s son shot her in the head.”  
  
Walter’s concerned expression didn’t clear.  
  
“That was the last straw for me. I wanted out. I wanted nothing to do with that man. That’s where Mulder comes in. My supposed buddy that I run this guide business with. He was a detective with NYPD, and I went to him and told him I’d feed him information to take down as many people as I could. It worked for a year. Until my father made me.”  
  
Alex pulled the blanket tighter around himself.  
  
“I thought he would just kill me and be done with it. That didn’t happen. He found out about Mulder and threatened to kill his wife and kid if I didn’t take him out first.”  
  
Walter shifted in his seat uncomfortably.  
  
“I went to them during the night. I had money hidden from my father. We ran. Kept off the grid as much as possible, and came here. Started the business as a way to keep afloat and try to give William some kind of normal childhood. Our own fucked up version of witness protection.”  
  
When he finished, the silence was almost oppressive. Alex laughed nervously.  
  
“It’s probably stupidly unsafe for me to tell you all this. I don’t really know you either. If my father finds me someday and kills me, there is no one who would miss me, but I don’t want him to have the opportunity to get near Mulder’s family. I just couldn’t lie to you and tell you I’m a good person.”  
  
Walter was looking down, studying his hands clasped before him. After a few beats he looked up at Alex.  
  
“I still think you’re a good person.” Alex scoffed and looked away. “I do. You ultimately risked your life to put criminals away and do the right thing.”  
  
Walter stood, but Alex didn’t move, wondering what he would do next.  
  
“Come to bed, it’s going to get cold out here.”  
  
Stunned at Walter’s easy acceptance, he stood almost in a daze and followed the man back to his bedroom. He climbed into bed, into waiting open arms, and just allowed himself to be held.

“She called me Sasha,” Alex spoke softly into the dark.

“Hm?”

“She was the only one who called me that. I miss her.”

A comforting squeeze of the arms around him was Walter's answer. He felt at peace with himself in that moment. He had trusted someone enough to shed some of his burden.

\-----

Walter woke slowly, gradually becoming aware of the warm weight pressed against him. He looked down slightly to see a head of brunette hair tucked under his chin. A sense of longing pressed at him then. He wished he could have a chance to get to know this man better, to have the possibility for a future open to them. It wasn’t what Alex wanted though, and Walter would respect that. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t make the most of every moment they had together though.  
  
He leaned in and pressed his lips to Alex’s hair before slowly starting to move out from under him. The now-waking man grunted his disapproval and tightened the arm he had slung across Walter’s waist.  
  
“Bathroom, then breakfast,” Walter said by way of explanation.  
  
Alex released his hold and pulled the comforter back around himself after Walter was out of bed. Walter padded to the bathroom and decided to take a quick shower before he went to make them breakfast. He wasn’t in the shower long before he felt a rush of cool air as Alex stepped in behind him.  
  
“Morning.” Alex’s voice, still deep and rough from sleep, was sexy as hell.  
  
“Mm. Good morning.”  
  
Walter leaned back into Alex as he stepped close. He felt a hard cock settle along his crack, and long fingers came around to grasp his own, which was rapidly responding. Alex started a relaxed pace, stroking Walter in time with his own small thrusts between their water-slick bodies. It was unhurried and easy, and the perfect way to start the morning.  
  
Alex began kissing and nipping along his shoulder as they sped up. Neither of them had worked to hold themselves off, and it hadn’t taken them long to both be nearing climax. Walter just rode the sensations. Alex’s hips stuttered, and the feeling of his hot come between them pushed Walter over the edge himself.  
  
They stood for a few moments breathing hard, then Walter turned and pulled Alex’s face into a heated kiss. It was passionate, but not in a way meant to lead them to another round; he simply wanted to show Alex how much the younger man affected him. He poured the emotions that had been circling in his head since he woke up into the kiss. Conveyed in actions what he didn’t feel he could convey in words. It was “stay” and “give this a chance,” but also “thank you” and “goodbye.”  
  
When they finally broke for air, foreheads pressed together, panting into the steamy space, Walter felt a kind of peace about it all. This was the first time since losing John that he had really allowed himself an emotional connection with someone. It may have only been a couple of days together, but he would cherish it for what it was.  
  
The grumbling of Alex’s stomach broke his existential contemplation, and he smiled.  
  
“I’ll start some omelets, if you start the coffee.”  
  
Alex laughed. “That sounds great.”  
  
Walter finished washing quickly and left to get dressed and get the food started. He was just whisking the eggs when Alex joined him in the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee maker. The conversation was light as they prepared everything and then sat to eat. Walter asked about the rest of their guiding season and shared a couple of the more amusing stories of his encounters with the enigma that was his neighbor, Bella.

Afterward, they went separate directions. Alex went to pack, and Walter resigned himself to idly tidying the kitchen in order to keep himself busy. It didn't take Alex long, and they were soon heading out the door.

They bounced along the dirt and gravel road in Walter’s truck. He filled the silence periodically with what he knew of the few people that lived along the road. About twenty minutes later, the gravel gave way to pavement as they came into Talkeetna.  
  
“You can just drop me wherever. I can call Dana for a ride from here.”  
  
Walter didn’t have anything to get back for, and, if he was being honest with himself, he wanted to drag this goodbye out as long as possible.  
  
“Trapper Creek isn’t that far. I can just take you, if you want.”  
  
Alex appeared to have to think about it, but nodded before the silence stretched too long. Walter turned the truck toward the road that would take them back to the Parks Highway. He reached down and turned on the radio, music filling the vaguely tense silence. A little over a half hour, and a few spoken directions from Alex later, and they were pulling into the drive to the lodge.  
  
The lodge was a longer building with a porch across the entire length of the front. It was simple and welcoming from the outside. A little farther back he could see a small, neatly-kept house.  
  
“That’s where Fox and Dana live with their son William.” Alex pointed at the house as he spoke. “I have one of the bedrooms in here.”  
  
Walter stopped the truck on the driveway in front of the lodge. Alex got out and went to grab his pack out of the back of the truck. On impulse, Walter leaned over and nabbed a napkin out of the glove compartment. He scrawled on it quickly, then got out to say his goodbyes.  
  
He met Alex on the passenger side and didn’t hesitate to pull him into a tight hug.  
  
“I had a great time with you. Thank you.” Walter tried to hide the emotion from his voice.  
  
Alex pulled back to look at him. “I should be the one thanking you. A fireplace, good food, a ride home. Oh, did I forget to mention my affection for your large water heater?”  
  
Walter chuckled. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the napkin, placing it in Alex’s hand. He’d written his name and phone number on it.  
  
“In case you ever want to do that again. I’d always welcome you back for a visit,” Walter said with a smile.  
  
Alex looked down at the napkin, then grinned back at him. “Walter Skinner, huh? Maybe you should be in the hunting business with a name like that.”  
  
“Yeah, maybe.” Walter’s smile widened and he couldn’t keep the affection from his tone. “Goodbye, Alex, it’s been my pleasure.”  
  
He placed a hand on Alex’s cheek then, drawing him into a tender kiss that lasted as the seconds stretched.

“Uncle Alex!” A child’s voice rang out. “Whoa!”  
  
They separated, and Walter took a small step back, turning to see a young boy with auburn hair still panting from what Walter assumed to be his run from the house.  
  
“Will! Hey, buddy,” Alex replied with a smile. He shared an amused glance with Walter.  
  
At that moment, a pretty redhead strode around the side of the truck into view.  
  
“Alex? What are you doing here?” She looked mildly concerned at their presence.  
  
“Mom! Uncle Alex has a boyfriend! I saw them kissing!”  
  
Walter flushed and smiled. This was an interesting first impression to have made with Alex’s friends.  
  
Alex sighed, and crouched down to speak directly to William. “Will, this is Walter. He’s not my boyfriend. We just had a nice time together the last couple of days, and I was saying thank you.” He smirked and looked back at Walter briefly. “Not something you would do to say thank you to all your friends, but for us it seemed right.”  
  
Alex stood and gestured to the woman. “Dana, this is Walter. Walter, Dana.”  
  
He stepped forward to shake her hand.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you,” Dana said distractedly. “Alex, what are you doing home early? Is everything ok?”  
  
Walter saw the moment that the burden he’d seen Alex carrying when he arrived at his home return to settle on his shoulders.  
  
“Fox is fine. Still with the client. They have the sat phone, and should come back when we originally planned.” He sighed. “The full story is not fit for little ears, but I had to hike out early. I stumbled upon Walter’s house after that snow, and he put me up for a couple of days.”  
  
Walter had to agree with Alex’s assessment not to give all the details in front of William. The boy didn’t need to be exposed to that level of hate yet in his life, if they could help it. Dana seemed to accept that answer for now, and Walter took it as his cue to leave. He turned back and held out his hand to Alex.  
  
“Goodbye. Thank you, again.” His voice was steady and sincere.  
  
Alex gripped his hand tightly, but pulled him in for one more quick hug. “Bye, Walter.”  
  
They didn’t linger because of their audience, and Walter climbed back into his truck and pulled away almost on autopilot. He knew he would miss Alex from the moment they separated, but this was what Alex wanted, and he couldn’t begrudge him that choice.  
  
\-----  
  
Alex’s heart was unexpectedly heavy as he watched the truck drive away. He fingered the napkin stashed safely in his pocket absently.  
  
“William, go finish cleaning your room. You can watch cartoons as soon as you’re done,” Dana said briskly.  
  
Alex knew chores and cartoons were William’s usual Saturday routine. He watched the energetic nine-year-old take off running, knowing that he was now in for an interrogation. He grabbed his pack and headed in to the kitchen of the lodge, Dana following behind.  
  
He tossed his things in the mudroom and headed to make himself a sandwich.  
  
Dana leaned a hip against the end of the long table that dominated the dining area. “So what happened?”  
  
“That client, Kevin Stern,” he paused and sighed. “Turns out he’s a homophobic asshole. I accidentally outed myself and he freaked. Threatened to leave and wanted a full refund. I said I would hike out on my own and he could continue the hunt with Mulder. He agreed. You won’t lose out on any of his payment this way.”  
  
“And Fox just let you go? You have to know that we don’t care about the money. No one should treat you that way.”  
  
Alex appreciated that Dana was indignant on his behalf, but he wouldn’t have done anything differently. He owed them too much.  
  
“No, no. It’s fine. I talked it over with Fox, and we worked it all out. I’ll just stay out of the guy’s way when they get back, and he’ll be gone soon enough.”  
  
Dana sighed. “Okay. Well, I’m still sorry it happened.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
Alex turned to pull ingredients out of the fridge. He should have known that wouldn’t be the end of it.  
  
“So William caught you kissing this Walter guy?”  
  
“Yeah, sorry.”  
  
Dana laughed. “Oh, I’m just sorry I missed all the excitement. Seriously though, what’s up with him?”  
  
“Nothing’s up. The day I hiked out it had snowed, but I didn’t pack rain pants because it’s been so warm this fall. I was soaked and tired by the time I stumbled on his house a ways east of Talkeetna. He offered a place to dry off and a hot meal. I was going to call for a ride, but he thought the road would be a mess that first day. I stayed the night.”  
  
Dana just raised her eyebrows and gave him an expectant look.  
  
“Ok, I stayed another night after that too.”  
  
Dana’s stare was relentless.  
  
“So we have some things in common, and it was a good time, okay? Satisfied?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Alex suppressed a groan of frustration.  
  
“Are you going to see him again? It’s not like he lives that far.”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“Why not? He seemed like a nice guy.” Dana pulled out a kitchen chair and settled into it.  
  
“It was a one-time thing. Just casual fun for our mutual benefit. He knew what it was going in.”  
  
“It looked like he would have been okay with more. He certainly reacted when Will called him your boyfriend, anyway.”  
  
Alex sighed. “I don’t do relationships. It’s never been safe to do in the past, and I don’t really see that changing now. I don’t think I can risk getting that close to anyone.”  
  
Now it was Dana’s turn to sigh.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Alex continued. “I know you don’t need the reminder of what you lost when I dragged you all here, and I know you’re trying to make the best of it and make a life. I’m just always going to be cautious, okay?”  
  
He brought his plate with a sandwich and chips to the table and sat next to her. Dana reached over and stole a chip.  
  
“For the record, he was very handsome.”  
  
Alex laughed. “Yeah, he really was.”

\-----

After their discussion, Dana left the Walter issue alone. That didn’t mean Alex didn’t have to explain it all to Mulder when he returned, because William immediately told his dad about the public display of affection he had accidentally witnessed. Why did kids have to have a memory like a steel trap? Will asked about Walter at least once a week for the next couple months, until after yet another awkward exchange, Dana made William agree not to bring it up anymore.  
  
“He thinks it’s the way the world is supposed to work, you know.” Mulder spoke into the room that was quiet aside from the crackling of the fire.  
  
They were seated in the great room of the lodge, beers in hand. The two men had found they enjoyed continuing their tradition of meeting up for drinks, even if most of the time they simply stayed at their own places.  
  
“What is?” Alex questioned.  
  
“He is the product of a loving marriage. He’s known the story of how the beautiful and talented Dr. Scully swept me off my feet since he was little. He thinks everyone is supposed to find their true love and live happily ever after. He just wants you to have that too.”  
  
Alex sighed. “I don’t get why he even cares. He’s a kid, and I’m just the guy his dad works with.”  
  
“No way, man. He never knew you as Alex Krycek, son of a gangster. You’ve always been Alex the cool uncle to him. He loves you like family. Hell, at this point, we all do.”  
  
Alex didn’t say anything. He didn’t believe Mulder really felt that way. It was a nice thing to say, but he had ripped them away from their entire life. Put a child in danger. Being friendly was one thing. Being family? That was another entirely.

"He's right, you know." Dana was standing in the doorway of the room, and came in to sit beside her husband on the couch.

“Hey, babe,” Mulder said, putting an arm over her shoulders as she settled in next to him.

“I came to see if I could convince you two to go to bed at a decent hour.”

A small smile lit Alex’s face momentarily before he went back to brooding at the fire.  
  
“Seriously though, Alex,” Dana continued. “We think of you as family now. We’re in this together, and we couldn’t have asked for a better man to partner with.”  
  
Alex gave her an incredulous look. “I don’t even know how you can say that? I put you in danger and ruined your lives and stranded you out here for the foreseeable future.”  
  
“We don’t see it that way at all,” Fox interjected.  
  
“Look.” Dana leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees, and looked at Alex intently. “I knew when I married Fox that he was in a high-risk profession. He tried to keep us sheltered from it, but the reality is that no law enforcement family is really fully protected from the job. Despite best intentions, the burden of work gets brought home in some way or another. In our case, it was a direct danger to us and our child, and we chose to deal with it the way we thought best. I know you think you dragged us here, but we wouldn’t have come if we felt there was a better option.”  
  
Fox nodded his head in agreement as she continued.  
  
“We understood the risks of staying, and what we would be giving up by leaving. And now we have you to thank for our safety. We’re making a new life here – one in which our son is flourishing. Maybe someday we’ll be able to have contact with people and family back in New York. In the meantime, we’re making new relationships here.”  
  
Alex sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, but before he could start recriminating himself any more, Fox spoke up.  
  
“I’m saying this as a friend, Alex. I’ve seen you sacrifice enough in some attempt to atone. You don’t need to. You’ve done more than enough already. You’re allowed to get something you want too. You’re allowed to have a life of your own. Get your head out of your ass already and allow yourself a little happiness. I think you’re forgetting that what started this, years ago, was you wanting to be free of your father. Now you are.”  
  
“You guys are a really formidable pair when you decide to gang up on someone, you know that?”  
  
Dana laughed. “I’m not sorry for telling you something you needed to hear.”  
  
She stood still smiling, and pulled Alex up for a hug. When she let him go, Fox came over and gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder.  
  
“Night, man.”  
  
“Night, Mulder. Dana.”  
  
They left to go back up to the house, and Alex headed for the kitchen. He wasn’t really tired after that conversation. He was feeling emotionally vulnerable and couldn’t keep himself from questioning everything he’d done in the last couple years to bring them all to this point. Abandoning his half-empty beer on the counter, he pulled down a bottle of whiskey and poured a healthy amount in a glass.  
  
It probably wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but he could allow himself to indulge in a little self-pity and alcohol once in a while. Heading back to the fire, he sat once more, watching the flames and sipping at his drink. It was winter in Alaska now, and it wasn’t like there was much else to do. They’d had one more bear hunt booked after the homophobe left, and it had gone well.  
  
William still had school, and Dana had started volunteering there for something to keep her busy, but Fox and Alex were somewhat at loose ends until the spring season started. It gave him more time than he would like to think. He thought a lot about Walter. It started as him just bringing up memories of the fantastic sex they’d had together when he was alone in his bed at night. More and more, however, he had begun to think of Walter at other times.  
  
Alex would catch himself wondering what the other man was doing at odd times of day, or remembering how easy it was to be around the other man’s calm presence. If asked, he would admit he was smitten, but he wasn’t going to act on it. He wasn’t going to drag someone else into his world only to hurt them. Besides, he didn’t really even know what Walter thought after he laid out his whole sordid past. Maybe he was glad to be rid of him.  
  
In a moment of sudden determination, Alex strode back to his bedroom. He pulled a crumpled napkin out of his nightstand drawer and grabbed his phone. Before he could think too much about it, he dialed.  
  
“Hello.” Walter’s greeting was brisk.  
  
“Hi, Walter.”  
  
“Alex?” A beat of silence passed. “Hey. How are you?”  
  
“I’m fine. Winters are long and boring here, did you know that?”  
  
Walter chuckled. “Yeah, I realized that pretty quick.”  
  
Another moment of awkward silence passed.  
  
“Do you regret sleeping with me?” Alex blurted.  
  
“No. Why would I?”  
  
“I told you I was a criminal, right? I mean, I was pulling shakedowns for my father before I could drive, and there were a lot of years of misdeeds after that, before I turned narc.”  
  
Walter sighed. “I don’t regret sleeping with you. You were honest with me, and you’ve clearly decided to change your path in life and did some good. I spent just a couple days with you, and even I could see you’re not the man your father made you anymore.”  
  
“But I ruined their lives.”  
  
“Who’s lives?”  
  
“Mulder and his family. Dana and William. I took them all down with me when I wanted out. I made them leave everything. Dana has a sister. I don’t even know if she got any story as to why they left. Dana hasn’t wanted to risk contact with anyone from the old life yet. How could she do that? Didn’t even question it. Just helped us pack and plan our escape and left.”  
  
There was another moment of silence, and Alex wondered what Walter was thinking just then.  
  
“Look, even from our brief meeting, I can tell Dana is a smart woman. She isn’t naïve. She did what she had to do to protect her family willingly, and I’m sure she doesn’t hold any of the situation against you. Your father, maybe. Not you though.”  
  
“Yeah, maybe,” Alex said softly.  
  
“You okay, Alex?”  
  
Alex laughed and a bit of an embarrassed flush crept up his cheeks. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking too much over here.”  
  
“Well, I’m glad you called. It’s good to hear your voice.”  
  
“Yeah? How are you?”  
  
Alex heard the noise of muffled fabric rustling and figured Walter had sat down somewhere.  
  
“I’m good. Winter is boring here too. Stopped down at Bella’s the other day to check in on her. She told me a new story you’ve got to hear.”  
  
Walter proceeded to tell Alex about a time shortly after Bella and her husband had moved into their newly built house. He was at work one winter afternoon, but it was already mostly dark outside. She heard a noise in the yard and looked out to investigate. At the time a neighbor had a cat that would roam and sometimes come around their yard. She figured she would chase it back up the road toward home since it was so cold out. The cat ran up a tree when she came out of the house, and she didn't realize until she was standing underneath the tree that it was actually a lynx.  
  
Alex was laughing hard by this point and enjoying the way Walter retold the story with such exaggeration.  
  
“So she ran screaming back into the house and locked the door until her husband came home.”  
  
“That is one awesome lady,” Alex said, still chuckling.  
  
“Yeah, she’s definitely the most badass 83-year-old I know.”  
  
A warmth Alex hadn’t known he had been missing had filled him during their short conversation, and he didn’t want it to end. The problem was, he didn’t know what else to say either. Walter had put up with his emotional rambling before, but Alex still didn’t believe he could let anyone truly close. He decided it would be best to make his excuses and say goodbye while he could.  
  
“I should get going. Thanks.”  
  
“Oh, okay. I’m glad you called.”  
  
“Goodnight.”  
  
“You can call again anytime you’d like.” Alex could almost hear the longing in Walter’s voice. It made him doubly as determined to try not to lead this man on and hurt him.  
  
“Bye, Walter.”  
  
Alex hung up on Walter’s echoing of goodbye. He flopped backward onto his bed. It was going to be a long lonely winter of trying not to think about those large hands and warm brown eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Walter stood at the sink staring at the picture of him and John he had on the shelf. He had forgotten. He’d had a relatively busy day by his standards. It was late February, and winter still clung to the landscape. It had snowed a couple days ago, so he had attached the plow to the front of his truck and cleaned off his driveway, since the road had been cleared the day before. After he was done with his own driveway, he went over to Bella’s to make sure she didn’t need to be plowed out. Her son had come the day before, so there wasn’t any snow left for Walter to clear, but he stayed for cookies and gossip anyway.  
  
Afterward, he had come home and done some chores around the house. As he had worked, he thought of Alex. They’d exchanged several phone calls throughout the winter. They never spoke of Alex’s past again, but Walter found that conversation on a range of topics came easily. It was pleasant and comfortable, and he hoped that the couple of times Alex had casually flirted with him held some possibility for them.

The younger man had captured his attention in a way he’d thought was no longer possible. His life with John had been so complicated and fraught with its own heartaches despite the deep love they shared. Alex had a past, as did Walter, but the two of them now were effortless together. If Alex decided he could trust him, he could see the potential for a real relationship.  
  
As Walter had continued to ruminate, he had moved about the kitchen, cleaning up from his midday meal. That’s when his eyes had landed on the edge of the Polaroid, sticking out from behind the jar on the shelf. Today was the anniversary of John’s death, and he had forgotten until this moment. Guilt and grief washed over him at once. He and John had once promised they’d share a life together, and now, when he was left behind, he couldn’t even be bothered to remember him on the day he died.  
  
After a few moments, he shook himself from his stupor and headed to the cupboard where he kept his liquor. The lone bottle of whiskey there had barely a shot of liquid left in the bottom. Cursing to himself, Walter headed for the door, not even bothering with a jacket, and threw himself angrily into the driver’s seat of his truck. He was angry at himself for getting so distracted by a man who didn’t want him, angry at the world for taking John from him, and he decided the only cure for that was to get a lot more drunk than that lone bottle in his house would allow.  
  
As he headed toward town, he couldn’t help but turn his angry thoughts toward Alex too. Since meeting Alex, he had been almost happy. Even if the stubborn former New Yorker kept him at arm’s length, he had awakened something in him that Walter had thought was long gone. The renewed attitude had bled into the rest of his life until even Bella was commenting on the positive change in Walter’s bearing.  
  
Usually the days before and after this anniversary were filled with a solemnity and sadness as all Walter could think about was his loss. John had been cremated, and Barbara, John’s ex-wife who had still been his next of kin, had given his ashes to Walter. Walter kept them, not really knowing what John’s wishes would be regarding what to do with the ashes.  
  
After he’d moved into his house, he had found that with a short walk to the north, there was a nice view of the Talkeetna River from a bluff above it. It became a spot he frequented, and on the first anniversary of John’s death, he’d found himself there. Walter had built a small cairn in memorial and scattered some of John’s ashes into the winter wind as it whipped up the river valley.  
  
He now considered it John’s resting place. Each year he’d trek out there, brush the snow off the cairn if there was any, and he’d sit looking out at the river. Sometimes he’d talk to John. Sometimes he would simply sit in silence. But he always remembered.  
  
Walter pulled up to the bar in town that the locals frequented. There were always those places that catered more to the seasonal tourists, but the locals kept their favorite spots in business year round. It wasn’t too busy mid-afternoon, so he found a spot at the end of the bar and ordered a whiskey. He gulped it down quickly and ordered another, sipping at the second more slowly.  
  
That’s how he spent the next few hours. Drinking slowly but steadily and staring idly at the TVs playing as his thoughts circled. Plagued by his guilt and sadness, he worked his way toward oblivion.  
  
\-----  
  
Mulder and Krycek strolled into the local bar talking casually about the upcoming hunting season. They had decided to get out and grab a beer together. Winter was long and dark, and everyone needed to get out once in a while to keep their sanity. Alex had been William’s babysitter several times while Fox and Dana went out, and Alex and Fox had gotten out of the lodge a few times themselves.  
  
They were headed toward the bar when Alex stopped short, staring at the man hunched over on a stool near the end.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Mulder asked, suddenly on alert and checking their surroundings.  
  
“It’s Walter.”  
  
“Who?” Mulder looked on with furrowed brows, but Alex’s answer wasn’t forthcoming. “Oh, Walter! Your Walter.”  
  
Alex didn’t like the gleam Fox got in his eyes as he figured it out.  
  
“You should introduce me! Come on,” he said as he pulled Alex along by the arm.  
  
Before he could halt their progress, they were standing next to the slumped form, and Fox had his hand outstretched in the man’s face.  
  
“Hi. Fox Mulder. I understand we have a mutual acquaintance in tall, dark, and brooding over here.”  
  
Walter looked up, and Alex was taken aback to see his eyes glassy and his motions uncoordinated.  
  
“Who the hell are you?” Walter started to say to Mulder, but then he looked at Alex, and recognition dawned on his face. “Alex?”  
  
“Hi, Walter.” Alex spoke softly, unsure of what was going on. He’d never expected Walter to be the kind of man to get so clearly drunk, and especially not in public. Something was going on. “You okay?”  
  
Walter barked out a bitter laugh. “Okay? Fuck. No.”  
  
He blinked slowly at the other two men before a frown developed across his features.  
  
“It’s your fault,” Walter said, punctuating his words by poking his index finger into Alex’s sternum. “I forgot him, and it’s your fault!”  
  
Alex shared a confused and concerned look with Fox. He wasn’t really sure what was going on with Walter, but he clearly wasn’t in good shape. Mulder spoke up, trying to get more information out of the man.  
  
“You planning to sit here all night, man? You got a ride home?”  
  
Walter was already swaying slightly where he sat, and it was clear he’d been there a while. Alex wasn’t even sure how the bartender had let him get this far gone. As he looked down toward the opposite end of the bar, it seemed to make sense. The young, female bartender was busy trying to flirt with a handsome, shaggy-haired blond guy. Alex guessed she hadn’t really been paying much attention to how many times she’d filled Walter’s glass.  
  
Walter hadn’t answered Fox’s question and was staring down at the bar top. Suddenly he looked up, and looked right at Alex, the anger in his expression gone, replaced by confusion.  
  
“I didn’t think I could love anyone but him, ya know? Now you’re here, but you don’t really want me. What are you doing here, Alex?”  
  
Alex couldn’t let Walter sit here and do this to himself.  
  
“Ok, big guy. I think we need to get you out of here.” He shared a look with Mulder and nodded toward the bartender. Mulder discreetly moved to check that Walter’s tab was settled.  
  
“Where are the keys to your truck, Walter?” Alex asked. Walter ignored him in favor of staring at the bar top again. Alex put a hand on his cheek, guiding him to meet his eyes. “Keys?”  
  
Walter obeyed the request without question and pulled them out of his pocket. Alex grabbed them and then moved to put an arm around Walter’s shoulder.  
  
“Come on, let’s get you somewhere comfortable to sleep this off.”  
  
Walter stood and leaned heavily on Alex but walked docilely toward the door. He stumbled once, but Mulder caught up to them and helped steady the taller man. Before they went out into the cold evening, Alex stopped them.  
  
“I don’t know if we should try to get him all the way back to his place tonight. He can crash in the lodge. I can drive him in his truck, if you want to take your car back.” They had ridden together, so they had enough sober drivers to take both vehicles.  
  
“Does he have a coat?” Fox asked as they both realized Walter was dressed only in a flannel shirt and jeans.  
  
Alex tried to get him to focus with a hand on his cheek again. “Walter, you got a jacket or something? It’s cold out.”  
  
Walter blinked a couple times before responding. “No. You made me sad and mad.”

Mulder gave him a concerned look. “You sure you're going to be okay with him riding with you?”

“Yeah. I’m getting the idea he's more of a teddy bear when drunk than an actual bear.”

Considering Walter had curled into Alex’s side and was nuzzling his neck, that was more than evident. Fox just gave him a knowing smirk and moved to open the door for them.

As soon as the cold air hit Walter's alcohol-warmed skin, he was shivering and trying to cling to Alex tighter. Alex kept them moving to the truck, while Fox stood nearby in case Walter stumbled. With a little fumbling, they got the passenger door open and Walter inside.

“I'll follow you guys,” Mulder said. He walked off to get in his car, and Alex settled himself into the driver’s seat of the pickup.

When the door slammed closed, Walter turned in his seat to lean sideways against the headrest, facing Alex. It appeared that the cold air had sobered him some, and he watched quietly and seriously as Alex pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the lodge. They drove in silence for a few minutes, and Alex had thought Walter may have drifted off, when he spoke so softly it could barely be heard above the crunching of the tires.  
  
“I missed you. There was a part of me that thought I’d never see you again.”  
  
Alex didn’t really know what to say. He still had no idea why Walter had felt the need to go get drunk in the first place, much less have any read on his thoughts right now.  
  
“Missed you too, Walter.”  
  
Wide eyes looked back at him. “You did? I didn’t think you would.”  
  
Silence settled around them once more, but Alex had no more answers. This time Walter did drift off and slept until they stopped in front of the lodge. Fox had pulled up there as well, and he got out to help Alex get Walter inside. Alex opened the passenger door and nudged Walter awake. He blinked blearily but remained cooperative and climbed out, supported by Alex.  
  
They made their way into the lodge and Alex sat him down on the couch in front of the fireplace in the great room. They closed off the guest rooms in winter so they didn’t have to heat them, and that would be the best place to sleep aside from Alex’s own room. Fox went to grab a pillow and blanket while Alex started a fire. Walter just stared quietly as the men moved around him. Mulder was just bringing the bedding back into the room when he spoke with surprising lucidity.  
  
“Today was the anniversary of John’s death. I forgot about it.”  
  
Well, that explained a lot. Alex moved to sit on the coffee table directly in front of Walter.  
  
“Hey. It’s ok. He knew you loved him. Don’t beat yourself up.”  
  
“Yeah,” Walter said quietly. “I was thinking about you. Thinking about how long I should wait before calling you again.”  
  
He looked up at Alex, and his expression was open and earnest. “I like you. I don’t want to scare you off.” Then his expression turned dark again. “I forgot about him today, and I never wanted to do that.”  
  
He swayed a little then, and Alex guided him to lie down, pulled off his shoes, and covered him with the blanket.  
  
“It’s okay, Walter. Don’t worry about it tonight. Just sleep.”  
  
He stared up at Alex for a moment, but then closed his eyes and let sleep take over again. Fox set a glass of water and some aspirin down on the coffee table. It was the first reminder Alex had that he was still there and had heard their conversation.  
  
“His partner died while deployed. They had plans to leave the military and make a life together.”  
  
Mulder hummed in understanding, then spoke. “Seems like he likes you though. You’ve been talking since you met?”  
  
“Yeah. Just friendly calls. Winter is boring and he’s easy to talk to.”  
  
“You weren’t planning to see him again?” Mulder looked at him.  
  
“I’ve never done relationships. Wasn’t safe then; didn’t think it was safe now.” Alex sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I told him about my past. It was stupid, but I did. I’m sorry. I just felt like after what we shared that I couldn’t lie to him.”  
  
Mulder didn’t have any outward reaction to that news, for which Alex was grateful.  
  
“Hey. We made it. There’s been no sign your father or anyone else from that life know we’re here. It’s ok to trust people, and he seems like a good guy.” Mulder nodded toward Walter’s sleeping form as he spoke.  
  
Alex shot him a look, and Mulder held his hands up in front of him in surrender. “Look, I don’t want to get involved in your sex life here, but maybe give yourself a break, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, okay. Maybe.”  
  
That was the most Alex could say right now. He’d just witnessed Walter going through something he’d probably have rather not had others see. They’d have a lot to talk about in the morning. Alex adjusted the blanket over the man now breathing deep and even, and headed to his own room for the night.  
  
\-----  
  
The next morning, Alex came to wakefulness abruptly, remembering the events of the night before and wanting to check on Walter. He dressed quickly and walked out to the great room. The fire was banked, the couch was empty, and Alex looked out the window to see Walter’s truck was gone. A note sat next to the now-empty glass on the coffee table.  
  
_Alex,  
  
Thank you for taking care of me yesterday. Seeing you again and being close to you was both wonderful and heartbreaking. After yesterday, it’s clear I still have issues regarding John, but it’s also clear that it hurts too much to be friends with you without the hope of more. Maybe in time I can heal from both, and we can be friends again. Until then, I won’t be calling. I hope you understand. I’m sorry.  
  
Walter_  
  
Alex sat down hard on the couch, astonished. He hadn’t realized how much losing this would tear at him until this moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt Walter by trying for more and failing. He’d give him the space he asked for. After all, the spring season would be starting soon, and he’d have his job to keep him from thinking about much else. At least, that's what he hoped.

\-----

Alex stepped out onto the porch of the lodge and took a breath of the morning air. The smell of smoke stung his senses and he looked worriedly to the west, eyes on the dark plume rising into the sky on the horizon. They’d had a busy spring hunting season, and the last group of clients had just left. It was good timing because the dry weather had contributed to a number of wildfires igniting in the area with lightning from the early June thunderstorms. Their next group of hunters wasn’t booked until August, so they had a short summer break.  
  
The time without work in the summer didn’t bother Alex as much as their winter break. He could usually find odd construction jobs to do if he wanted extra work, and there were things to do around their property in the nice weather. After Walter had left that February night, Alex had distracted himself with planning and prepping for the spring hunts. He and Fox still did a lot of research, being new to the business, and he was able to lose himself in that when need be.  
  
The spring season had been busy and successful and hopefully earned them some repeat clients. For being a city boy, Alex found he really enjoyed the treks into the wilderness required for their work. He felt the freedom of open spaces seeping into his soul. In so many ways, he felt like a new man, like the last couple of years had transformed him.  
  
Despite, or maybe because of finding his personal balance, the loss of his friendship with Walter stung all the more. Here he was starting over, reinventing himself, becoming the better man he’d always wished he were, and that made him wish he could be the man Walter wanted. They’d built themselves a quiet life here, and it was safe from the reaches of his father.  
  
Maybe he could make a life here that included someone else. It would certainly get Mulder to back off if he did. The man would not let the issue go. He pursued it to the point of obsession. He just couldn’t understand why two men, clearly attracted to one another and somewhat compatible, were so stubborn as to push each other so far away that they didn’t have any contact anymore.  
  
Alex had been sneakily manipulated into talking about his feelings far more times than he was comfortable with over the past few months. Thankfully, it seemed in the last couple weeks, Fox had let it go. Or maybe he was just plotting his next angle. Alex would have to be vigilant for the next attack of overbearing friendship.  
  
He felt a breeze kick up, and the smell of smoke intensified momentarily. Alex headed for the house to get the latest news on the situation. They’d been following it closely because, as of yesterday, there was a particular fire that was only 50 miles from them and traveling in their direction.  
  
Dana and William were looking at a map on the laptop, and Fox was at the stove making pancakes when Alex knocked and walked into the kitchen.  
  
“Want some breakfast?” Mulder asked over his shoulder.  
  
“I already ate, thanks.” Alex moved to stand behind Dana. “Any significant change?”  
  
“Unfortunately, yes. It moved another ten miles north yesterday, and winds are supposed to pick up this afternoon. I wouldn’t be surprised if they expanded the evacuation zone to include us sometime today,” Dana said, pointing out the path of the fire on the map they had on the screen.

William seemed nervous. “Where will we go? Can I take all my stuff?”

Alex knew that in their flight, William had had to leave most of his toys behind. He’d talked Fox and Dana into letting him personally replace as many as he could, but he knew the boy must be worried about losing everything again.

Dana was quick to reassure him. “We’ll start packing now just in case. We've got lots of room in our truck. The evacuation site is the high school. You'll probably see school friends there, and if we have to stay overnight, it will be like a sleepover.”

The slim body seemed to relax a little for a moment, but then tensed once more.

“Will our house burn up?”

Alex’s heart broke for the fear he could hear in the young boy’s voice.

“I've been talking to a buddy I met in town that is a volunteer fire fighter. He gave me some advice on what to do to protect the buildings, so I'm planning to stay and make sure they’re safe,” Mulder said.

Dana shot him a look and Alex figured they had already argued about this at least once.

“I’ll stay too. You’ll need help if we have to do any heavy lifting, and that way we can man two hoses if need be.”

“I still think it's safest for us all to evacuate,” Dana argued, but Alex could tell she was relieved that Fox wasn't going to be staying alone.  
  
Fox served up pancakes, and they turned to lighter topics while the family ate; namely, a discussion of the vast amount of Legos William owned. In the end, Alex found himself placing a bet against Fox on how much the big plastic bin that contained all the tiny bricks weighed. Loser had to take them all out to dinner. Which wasn’t really a hardship in Alex’s mind.  
  
After they were done, Dana took William to his room to start packing. Alex sat down at the kitchen table with some coffee to talk strategy with Mulder.  
  
“Okay, so what are the chances we can save this place if the fire really comes this way?” Alex asked.  
  
“Pretty good actually. The trees immediately around us aren’t as dense as they could be. The advice that Steve gave me was not to waste time wetting down the buildings, but to either cut down or keep hoses on the trees closest to the buildings. He said not to get our clothes wet. My thinking is that diving in the creek can be our last escape, if needed.”  
  
“Why don’t we want to get our clothes wet? Wouldn’t that keep them from being flammable?”  
  
“It’s going to be hot, especially if the fire surrounds the buildings. If our clothes are wet, they can heat up enough to give us steam burns.” Mulder looked a little ill as he said it, and Alex agreed.  
  
“Ok. Do we have a backup generator we can hook to the well pump?”  
  
“Yup,” Mulder nodded. “That and a couple of hoses and chainsaws should be all we need.”  
  
“Dana doesn’t think we should do it, right?”  
  
Fox sighed. “Yeah, she says it’s not worth the risk. If it comes to it, I’ll run before I’ll die out here, but losing the buildings would be a real setback for us. I feel like we finally are giving Will a normal childhood again, and I’d really rather not leave him homeless if I don’t have to.”  
  
“I get that, but I also have a lot less to leave behind if something happens. You can evacuate with them, if you want. I can stay and keep the house safe, at least.”  
  
Alex knew Fox wouldn’t be dissuaded, but he had to try for Dana and William’s sake.  
  
“Nope. I’m staying to protect my family’s house. Besides, the fire might not make it this far after all. They are getting more crews out there every day.”  
  
In that moment, Alex really appreciated the tenacity of his friend. Fox Mulder was always a man to throw himself into the line of fire for a good cause, and his family was no exception.  
  
“Okay, I’m going to pack some things up in my car. I’m guessing you guys will want to put as much as possible in the SUV, and then Dana can take that if the evacuation call comes. We can keep my car here in case we need it.”  
  
He left the house and headed back toward the lodge. Maybe it was his imagination after their conversation, but the smoke seemed to smell stronger now.  
  
The day wore on, and a haze of smoke gradually developed as the wind picked up. Alex was just putting a bag of essentials in his car when he saw a strange pickup come up the driveway. Fox came out to greet the man, and Alex realized this must be his volunteer firefighter buddy, Steve.

“We extended the evacuation area up to the Parks Highway. The fire’s come fifteen miles already this morning with no signs of stopping. I’m here to tell you guys to head out as soon as possible. Red Cross set up a shelter at the high school.”  
  
Alex walked up to hear Steve talking to Mulder through the window of his truck.  
  
Fox nodded. “Dana’s got the SUV all loaded up, and she’ll head out with William right away.”  
  
Steve gave them a searching look. “That mean you’re staying then?”  
  
“Yeah. Anything else we need to know?” Alex spoke up.  
  
“I’m supposed to tell you not to stay and to get out now. That being said, I’ll be scouting in the area, and I’ll come check on you guys if things turn bad fast.”  
  
With that, Steve waved and drove off. Fox turned to walk up to the house and tell Dana. Alex followed, wanting to say his goodbyes. He was glad the evacuation shelter was to be at the high school. It was on the east side of the Parks Highway, so that meant they were confident that the wide lanes of asphalt would provide enough of a fire break. It meant that Walter’s house was safe too.  
  
He gave Dana and William tight hugs after Fox did, and after last goodbyes and entreaties for them to stay safe, they were gone. The two of them stood in the driveway, taking stock of their situation. Alex was surprised to find that the smoke had thickened considerably in just the time since Steve had been there. They decided to pull out all the equipment and wait.  
  
The lodge was closer to the road and had fewer trees around it. The house was farther back and was of more concern. They got to work on the yard first, hooking up the generator to the well pump and spraying down the mowed grass around both structures. That done, they decided to start wetting down some trees.  
  
The day had worn to late afternoon, and the sky was orange with the smoke obscuring the sunset. Alex was already tired, but he knew they had a long night ahead of them. He was coughing occasionally now and noticed Fox was as well. Suddenly they both heard an explosion in the distance.  
  
“Someone’s propane tank probably. It didn’t sound too far off.” Fox was outwardly calm, but Alex could tell he was worried.  
  
They took one last look around the property before taking up defensive positions with the hoses again.  
  
“I don’t like that tall spruce behind the house,” Alex said. “It’s too tall and just far enough away that we won’t be able to wet it down well. If we take it down, that might keep the fire on the ground and out of the canopy. What do you think?”  
  
He turned to Mulder expectantly.  
  
“Yeah, unfortunately you’re probably right. We should take it down now before we lose all the light.”  
  
Alex coughed as he headed over to where they’d set the chainsaw. Fox followed, and they took a few minutes to determine the direction they would try to get the tree to fall. Neither of them had a lot of experience felling trees, but they had cut a few on their property since they bought it.

Fox pointed out a few lower limbs that they cut off and tossed away to give more room to work. Alex then cut a small notch in the side of the tree facing the direction they wanted it to fall. Hopefully that would pull it down away from him.

Mulder was standing back at a distance, watching him work. Alex stopped and coughed hard. The smoke seemed to be pressing in thick now. He eyed up his cut and put the chainsaw to the trunk a couple feet off the ground. It was a tall tree, and the trunk was thick.

The chainsaw cut smooth and steady into the relatively soft spruce wood, until it stopped. The trunk was leaning and pinched the blade. Before Alex could react, he heard a crack. He registered Fox yelling his name as another louder cracking sound wrenched the air.

The tree lurched suddenly in his direction. It was coming down right on top of him. He had enough time to take a couple steps back but stumbled as trunk and branches rushed toward him. Alex thought he heard Fox yell his name again at the same moment the tree struck the ground with a deafening crash.

Burning pain shot up his left arm, and he cried out at the intensity of it. The sound of his breath rushing in his ears and throbbing pain were all he registered for a few seconds. He shook his head to clear it and blinked through the hazy air to see that his left arm was pinned under one of the larger lower branches.

Alex tried to breathe through the pain, but he could see some blood seeping into his shirt. Suddenly Mulder was there standing over him. He was talking to him frantically, but Alex was still too shocked to process what he was saying. Then hands were on his face.

“Alex! Krycek! Come on focus!”

He blinked up at Mulder, trying to think clearly despite the continued throbbing pain. He had landed on his back. Thankfully, the rest of his body had fallen mostly away from the tree trunk. He shuddered to think what a couple thousand pounds of that would have done to him. Unfortunately, one of the lowest branches had pinned his arm to the earth as it fell, just above the elbow. He figured there had to be at least a couple of shattered bones, and it was definitely a bad thing that he couldn’t feel his hand.  
  
“Alex! Come on! Look at me!”  
  
He’d gone too far into his head, the pain muddying the logical next steps in the situation. He had to get out. That’s probably what Mulder wanted to do next. A couple more explosions in quick succession in the distance cleared his thoughts further. Alex saw Fox looking worriedly around them.  
  
“Leave me. You should go.” Alex broke off in a hiss, the motion of talking jostling his arm a little. “We did a good job getting the place ready, but you shouldn’t be stuck here without my help.”  
  
“Wow. Just wow. The longer I know you, the more I think I’ve seen the extent of your lack of self-worth, Krycek. Then you go and pull this shit on me.”  
  
Mulder shook his head, and bent over Alex with a flashlight to inspect his arm.  
  
“Shit. You’re bleeding, and I’m not really sure what the actual damage is yet. I think I need to put a tourniquet on you before we do anything else, in case it’s bad once we get this branch of you. Ha. Limb. Get this limb off your limb. Too soon?”  
  
He pulled off his belt and fed it under Alex’s shoulder, and Alex laughed wetly through the pain as Fox cinched it tight over his upper arm. He’d never appreciated Mulder’s quirky sense of humor and lack of tact more than in that moment.  
  
“Okay, you hanging in there so far?” He didn’t give Alex a chance to answer before barreling on. “It’s probably going to hurt like hell, but I think I need to cut this branch off near the trunk and then I’ll be able to lift it of you.”  
  
Alex nodded. They didn’t have any other choice, and they really needed to get out of here soon. Fox moved off to retrieve the chainsaw, which had been freed from the trunk when the tree had fallen. Alex turned his head away in anticipation of the spray of sawdust that would result.  
  
“Ready?” Fox shouted.  
  
Alex took a deep breath as the pull chain brought the saw roaring to life. He felt the vibrations the moment it made contact with the wood and couldn't keep from crying out. Although, in that logical place in his brain that kept processing, it occurred to him that it would probably be worse without the tourniquet. He’d taken a few beatings over the years in his former line of work, so he knew how to handle pain. Not that any of that compared, but he kept breathing and it got him through.  
  
It was probably only seconds, but it felt longer, by the time the chainsaw was through and Fox dropped it to move and lift the branch. He paused with his hands braced underneath it to check in with Alex.  
  
“Okay? You ready for the last part?”  
  
All Alex could do was nod his assent. Mulder lifted the branch the first few inches quickly to get the pressure off of Alex’s arm. Then he carefully lifted it the rest of the way up and off to the side. It was a large one, at least six inches thick at the base and a good ten feet long, but Fox managed it no problem.  
  
Mulder came back to check Alex’s arm, and his muttered “shit” was all the clue he needed to know the other man thought it was bad. He lost track of things a bit again. Fox was pulling off his jacket and wrapping it around Alex’s limp and misshapen arm, tying it to his body for support. Then he was being maneuvered to a sitting position and they were working to stand, his good right arm slung over Fox’s shoulder.

Somehow they made it to his car, and Alex was grateful when he could slump into the passenger side and lean back into the seat. The jolting ride down their gravel road was torturous, but he gritted his teeth and tried to hold onto consciousness by pure determination. He realized Fox was trying to ask him something again, but he couldn’t really process the words enough to respond. He felt detached and odd, and realized shock was probably starting to set in. As his vision greyed and he fell toward unconsciousness, he had a fleeting thought that he hoped little William would have a home to come back to after all this.  
  
“Krycek?” Fox looked worriedly over at Alex’s slumped form. “Alex? You still with me?”  
  
He realized Alex must have passed out, but he couldn’t really take time to check. The visibility was low because of the smoke, and he had to concentrate on driving them out of there as fast as possible. Fox decided to head straight to the high school. He knew they’d have some sort of medical assistance there, and trying to call an ambulance out to their location would be difficult if he could even get through on the phone lines. It was the longest fifteen-minute drive of his life, and Alex’s features were alarmingly ashen by the time they came squealing into the parking lot.  
  
Fox pulled the car as close as he could to the school gym and was glad to see there was an ambulance in the parking lot. He left Alex where he was and ran inside.  
  
“Medic! I need help!”  
  
A couple of EMTs sitting at what appeared to be a first aid station off to the side stood immediately to come help, and Fox spotted Dana getting up from a group of people that were seated together across the gym. He absently recognized them as families of William’s school friends. The EMTs reached him first.  
  
“This way, he’s in the car. Bring a gurney.”  
  
He led them out to the car, and one detoured to the ambulance to grab the gurney once they saw the unconscious man. Dana came rushing out behind them.  
  
“Fox! What happened? Are you ok?”  
  
“I’m fine. It’s Alex. A tree fell on him. Crushed his arm.”  
  
By that time, the EMTs were working to get him out of the car, and when they had him strapped on the gurney, Dana stepped up to talk to them.  
  
“I’m a medical doctor. This is my friend; can I help?”  
  
The EMT who had brought the gurney over gestured to Fox. “Can you tell me what happened? We have to figure out what we’re dealing with here.”  
  
“A tree limb fell on his arm. It was pinned, and I could see blood. I put a tourniquet on it and cut the limb and lifted it off as fast as possible. It happened maybe 25 minutes ago at most.”  
  
“Okay, that’s good, but we might need to get him to Anchorage fast. Let’s take a look at the damage.”  
  
While the first EMT started carefully unwrapping the arm, the second got an oxygen mask on Alex. Fox figured they were assuming smoke inhalation. Come to think of it, his own lungs were feeling pretty tight too.  
  
As soon as the EMT saw the state of the obviously crushed and broken arm, she quickly began rewrapping it with large strips of gauze and talking into her radio at the same time. When she finished, she looked up at Fox and Dana who were standing by watching.  
  
“If we want to have any chance at saving the arm, we need him medevacked to Anchorage now. Mat-Su Regional doesn’t have the resources to deal with this. Their chopper is incoming and should be here in fifteen. There is room for one of you to ride along if you want.”  
  
Dana stepped forward immediately. “I’ll go.” She turned to look at Fox. “Take Will in the SUV and meet us at Providence.”  
  
“Not going to argue with me to stay?” Fox inquired with an amused look.  
  
Dana sighed. “I know you wouldn’t, and I know William would want to make sure his Uncle Alex is okay. It’s not like a couple nights in a hospital or hotel is going to be any worse than staying here.”  
  
“Thanks.” Fox stepped up and wrapped his wife in a hug. “Stay safe. It - it looked bad. Just make sure they try to save his arm if they can, okay?”  
  
Dana nodded. “I’ll go inside to say goodbye to William and let him know what’s going on.”  
  
Just as he was hearing the helicopter’s approach, Fox felt a jolt as two gangly arms grabbed him tight around the waist.  
  
“Dad, is Uncle Alex going to be okay?” Red-rimmed eyes looked up at Fox, William’s brow furrowed in concern.  
  
“They’ll take good care of him, buddy. Your mom is going to go along and make sure he gets the best medical care. We’ll drive over and see him when we can, okay?”  
  
William just buried his face in his father’s jacket and nodded. He only surfaced again to watch the Helicopter land in an empty area of the parking lot. Dana waved a last goodbye and climbed on after Alex’s gurney was loaded. The chopper took off, and they were left in the silence echoing in its wake.  
  
Fox took a deep breath and turned to William. “Let’s grab all your stuff and we can get going.”  
  
They went back inside to find William’s backpack and then headed out in the family SUV for Anchorage. It was an hour and a half drive from where they were because they had to follow the highway miles out of the way in a long U shape around the Knik Inlet; the helicopter could fly a direct line 30 miles over land and water in less than a quarter of the time. It was already evening, and William fell asleep almost immediately. He didn’t even wake when Fox pulled into a drive-through coffee stand for some sugar and caffeine to keep him going after the adrenaline had worn off.

When they were about fifteen minutes out, Fox tried Dana’s cell phone and was glad when she answered.  
  
“Hey, Fox. You guys okay?”  
  
“We’re fine. About fifteen minutes from you. Will’s been asleep. How are you?”  
  
“I’m in a waiting room now,” Dana replied. “They got Alex into surgery right away. What I know so far is that it was a bad break, and they won’t know about the muscle and tissue damage until they get in there. The blood was just from surface lacerations.”  
  
Mulder blew out a breath. “Okay. Can we come wait with you?”  
  
“Yeah. There is a family waiting room off the ER. Let the staff working the desk know you’re with me when you get here, and they’ll show you.”  
  
“Okay. See you soon.”  
  
“Hey, Fox?” Dana paused for a moment. “Do you think we should call Walter? It seemed like they were pretty good friends for a while, and there’s still so much that could go wrong for Alex before he’s really stable.”  
  
“I’ll think about it. I grabbed Alex’s bag out of the car before we left, and I think his cell is in there. It would have Walter’s number.”  
  
“Drive safe. Love you both.”  
  
“Love you too, babe. See you soon.”  
  
Fox hung up and contemplated the Walter question the rest of the drive to the hospital. He gently roused William when they arrived, and they made their way to the family waiting room where Dana was sitting alone. Will ran up to give his mom a hug and sat next to her, snuggling into her side for comfort. Fox sat in the chair on her other side and grabbed her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.  
  
“I think I’m going to call Walter. He would want to know. I thought they talked on the phone pretty regularly, so he might start to wonder if he doesn’t hear from Alex for a while. Any idea how long the surgery will take?”  
  
Dana shook her head. “They said at least a few hours.”  
  
“I’ll be right back. Want me to grab you something? I think I saw some vending machines on our way in.”  
  
“Skittles,” William said softly from where he sat.  
  
Dana smiled, but politely declined anything for herself. Fox wouldn’t begrudge his son a little comfort food if he wanted it, so he went in search of late-night Skittles. After having found the treat, he stepped outside to make the phone call. He breathed the cool night air deep into his lungs. They were well south of the fires there, and the air was cleaner than he’d breathed all week.  
  
He had brought Alex’s cell phone in with him, and he dialed Walter’s number when he found it in the contacts.  
  
“Alex?”  
  
Walter’s voice came clearly over the connection. It was late, but not yet the middle of the night, so the man may not have been asleep yet.  
  
“Fox Mulder, actually. I have Alex’s phone.”  
  
“Oh. Are you guys okay? I saw the fire moved pretty close to you today.”  
  
“That’s sort of why I’m calling. I’m not sure if the fire made it as far as our property; we’re in Anchorage right now. Alex and I were staying at the lodge to keep the fire back from the buildings, and he was hurt when we were cutting down a tree. He was taken by helicopter to Providence Medical Center, and Dana, Will and I are all here now.”  
  
“Oh, god. He needed a medevac? How bad is it?”  
  
Fox sighed. “I’m not totally sure yet. His arm was trapped under a tree limb, and it looked pretty bad. He’s in surgery now. They’re not sure if they can save the arm.”  
  
The sound of breathing was the only thing that greeted Fox down the connection for a few moments. He couldn’t see Walter’s reaction over the phone, but he decided to keep him talking.  
  
“I know you guys talked on the phone pretty regularly, so I figured you would want to know.”  
  
“No,” Walter said finally. “Well, yes, I did want to know. Thank you. But no, we haven’t talked in a few months.”  
  
“Really? I’m surprised. I thought you two were close.”  
  
This time it was Walter’s turn to sigh. “You saw me in the bar that night. I’m sorry for that, by the way, but thank you nonetheless. I haven’t worked through all my issues from losing my partner. Even if I had, Alex doesn’t want a relationship, and our friendship was just too hard for me keep up. I asked him for some space.”  
  
Fox didn’t know what to say. Now he wasn’t sure if Alex really would have wanted him to call Walter.  
  
“I care about him though,” Walter continued. “I’ve missed him. A lot. Do you think he would allow me to see him? I can’t stand the thought of him hurt and not being there to offer whatever comfort he would let me.”  
  
“I think he’d like to see you. Right now I have no idea when he’ll be out of surgery or what his condition will be after that. We might grab a hotel room after we know he’s stable. Want me to call you in the morning?”  
  
“Yeah, that would be good.”  
  
“Okay. Let me give you my cell number too.” Fox rattled off his phone number and then said goodbye and hung up.  
  
He headed back into the building and toward the waiting room. He questioned his choice to call Walter now that he knew Alex hadn’t been in contact with him recently, but he knew at one point they were close friends, if not more. If he was a betting man, he’d say Walter would be there within the next few hours.


	6. Chapter 6

Fox woke when someone opened the door to the family waiting room. It was the early hours of the morning, and Dana and William were curled up asleep in a chair together, William still clutching a bag of half-eaten Skittles tightly. He had finally dozed off himself a little while ago. It wasn’t a doctor who had entered though. Walter stood in the doorway looking unsure of his welcome. Fox just nodded toward an empty chair.  
  
“A nurse brought me back here when I said I’d come for Alex,” Walter said as he took a seat. “I hope that’s okay.”  
  
Fox nodded and smiled tiredly. “I figured you’d show up here sooner than later.”  
  
“Any news?”  
  
“No. A nurse stopped by a while back and said he was holding his own, and the surgery was still ongoing.”  
  
Dana cleared her throat softly and adjusted her sleeping son’s position slightly. “They were mostly concerned about muscle and tissue damage. His arm is broken, though I don’t really know the severity. I was able to talk to the surgeon, and he seems quite experienced. He’ll only take the arm as a last resort.”  
  
Walter sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Okay. Okay.”  
  
Fox could tell the man was shaken. Hell, he was still pretty damn shaken himself.  
  
“Fox took good care of him when it happened,” Dana reassured. “He brought Alex to the evacuation shelter, and there was an ambulance there, so EMTs saw him immediately. He made it here and into surgery less than two hours after the injury, so he’s got that on his side. He regained consciousness here for a bit and gave me permission to be informed of his condition. I used to be a pediatrician, and I spoke to all the doctors involved. He’s getting good medical care.”  
  
“Thanks.” Walter seemed relieved to at least have more information.

"So, are you done running out on him?” Fox spoke sharply into the silent room.

“Fox -” Dana chided.

“No, Dana. He needs to hear this. No matter what happens in surgery he's going to need some help to get through this. At the very least with everyday tasks while he heals physically. Not to mention the ramifications if they can't save his arm. I don't think it's out of line for me to want to know where you stand, Walter.”

Walter was stunned at Fox’s boldness and didn’t immediately reply.

“I know he didn't want to pursue a relationship with you before, but you were friends, and you obviously still care about him. Now you've pushed him away the last few months. I need to know that you're not going to do that again.”

“Fox, Alex is a grown man, you don’t have to defend his honor,” Dana said, giving him a significant look.  
  
Walter chuckled quietly. “It’s okay. I probably deserved a bit of a shovel talk.” He blew out a long breath. “I’m not going to cut him off again, so you don’t need to worry about that, but I don’t know if he’ll forgive me for doing it in the first place. When he’s ready, we probably have a long talk ahead of us.”  
  
That was enough reassurance for Fox. He wasn’t one to meddle. Not too much anyway. He figured they’d get their shit together on their own soon enough.  
  
Just then, the door opened to reveal a short, dark-haired man dressed in scrubs.  
  
“Hi, everyone. Ms. Scully, I have an update for you,” the doctor said.  
  
“Can we talk in here?” She replied, gesturing with her head signifying the sleeping boy in her lap that she didn’t want to disturb.  
  
The doctor looked at the other two occupants of the room warily.  
  
“This is my husband, Fox Mulder, and this is Walter-”  
  
“Uncle Alex’s boyfriend.” A sleepy voice interrupted. William sat up a bit, blinking back sleep. Fox realized all the talking must have woken him.  
  
No one said anything to contradict the boy’s statement. Fox figured if the staff made some assumptions, it would make life easier on Walter for getting access to Alex while he was here.  
  
“Okay. The surgery is complete, and we were able to save his arm. We had to do some internal fixation for the fractures that included a few screws and pins. There was a fair amount of crushed muscle, and unfortunately some of it was already necrotic and had to be removed. Considering the extent of the fractures and muscle tissue removed, he may never regain full range of use for the arm. In the short term, we’re going to monitor him for dehydration, infection, acidosis, and renal failure as the body deals with the damaged cells. After we’re out of the woods on that front, we can make a plan for rehab.”  
  
“Thank you, doctor.” Dana stood and led him out in to the hall to ask a couple more specific questions.  
  
Walter sat forward with his elbows resting on his knees, but Fox could see the relief in the set of his shoulders. Fox pulled William into his lap.  
  
“Uncle Alex’s arm was hurt bad, dad.”  
  
“Yeah, but he’ll be okay, buddy. The doctors and nurses here will help him get better, and then we’ll take good care of him until he’s back to himself and ready to spoil you by letting you eat ten cookies when Mom and I aren’t around.”  
  
William giggled. “That was only once, and I got sick anyway.”  
  
Fox laughed lightly. “I think you both learned a lesson that day.”  
  
Dana stepped back into the room, and Walter looked up at her and voiced the question on all of their minds.  
  
“Any idea when we can see him?”  
  
“They said he probably won’t wake up from the anesthesia for another hour or so, and he may just continue sleeping for a while after that.” She sighed. “It’s probably not worth finding a hotel at this point. A nurse is going to come tell me when he’s been settled in a room, and since he won’t be in intensive care, we can sit with him.”  
  
Fox looked up suddenly. “The house!”  
  
“What about the house, Dad?” William had a bit of a fearful look in his eyes.  
  
“I should go back to see what the situation is,” Fox replied, careful to keep his voice neutral, and didn’t say what all the adults were thinking: that there might not be a home to go back to.  
  
He sighed. “We only brought the SUV. I don’t want to leave you guys without a vehicle.”  
  
“Take my truck,” Walter said without hesitation. “I need to grab my bag out of it, but it’s yours if you need it.”  
  
“I can’t do that. We can figure something out.”  
  
“No, really. You’ll be back with it as soon as you know things are secure.” Walter rubbed a hand across the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “Besides, I plan on being here as long as Alex is.”  
  
Fox guessed Walter was becoming aware of how much Alex truly meant to him. It made him smile to himself. Those two deserved a little happiness, and he was not opposed to expanding their little extended family unit.  
  
“Thanks, man. If I leave now, I can make it back by dawn.”  
  
Walter stood. “I’ll walk you out.”  
  
Fox hugged his wife and son and said goodbye. Their journey out to the parking lot was quiet, both men tired from the long day and night they had endured. When they got to the truck, Walter grabbed his backpack off the front seat.

“I hope your property is okay.”

“Yeah, me too.” Fox sighed. “If after everything—all the work we did to try to save it and Alex getting hurt—if after all that it still burned, Alex is going to blame himself. He does enough of that already as it is.”

Fox climbed into the driver’s seat and leaned out to speak before closing the door.

“I'll call Dana when I know something.”

\-----

Alex woke slowly, almost as if he was swimming up toward the surface. His head felt heavy and his body sluggish. A vague throbbing pain came from the area of his left arm. He tried to process his surroundings as he blinked his eyes open. The sight of a hospital room greeted him. Then he remembered the fire – and his arm.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
A deep voice that he recognized, but that seemed incongruous in this space, spoke from his other side. He turned his head to find Walter sitting in a chair next to his bed.  
  
“Walter?” His voice was soft and rough.  
  
“Yeah. You want some water?”  
  
Alex watched him carefully as he grabbed a cup with straw from his bedside table and brought it to Alex’s lips. He took a couple small sips and cleared his throat. This time his voice was more normal.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
“Fox called me. I’m going to tell the nurse you’re awake, okay?”  
  
Walter stood and stepped out into the hall, and Alex felt a lump form in his chest at the loss. He had no idea what condition he was in and what had ultimately happened after he had woken in the emergency room and consented to surgery, and he needed the man close to him right now. A nurse bustled in, followed closely by Walter, and checked his vitals.  
  
“The doctor will come in a few minutes to talk through your injuries and surgery,” the nurse said. Then she was gone as quickly as she had come.  
  
“Are you in pain?” Walter came to stand on Alex’s right side and placed a hand over his, giving it a comforting squeeze.  
  
Alex looked down to his left arm, trying to process what he was feeling through the haze of pain killers and lingering effects of anesthesia. His forearm and wrist were in a cast, but his upper arm was wrapped in bandages and supported in a complicated looking brace.

“Um, not as much as I feel like I should be, if that makes sense.”

Walter smiled. “Well, take the drugs the doc gives you. I don't want you hurting if you don't have to be.”

Alex watched as the older man's face turned serious and he brought a hand up and laid it on the side of his face, stroking his thumb across Alex's cheek.

“I'm so glad you're okay.”

Alex was stunned by the depth of tenderness he could see in Walter's expression. Before he could even begin to figure that out, the doctor knocked and stepped into the room.

The next half hour was filled with a detailed explanation of his injuries. In just that short time he was exhausted and overwhelmed by the implications of weeks of healing and then months of rehab. He closed his eyes against the onslaught.

“That should cover what you need to know for now,” the doctor concluded. “I'll be back later in the day.”

When he’d left, Alex felt wrung out, but he pushed that away in favor of getting more answers. He opened his eyes to find Walter still standing by his bedside.

“Fox, Dana, Will?”

“Dana took William to get some lunch. I imagine they'll take their time to give the kid some time to stretch his legs.”

He moved the visitor’s chair close to the bedside as he spoke and sat down.

“Fox went back to check the fire damage after we knew you'd made it through surgery. He called a couple hours ago. The house and lodge are still standing, but much of the trees and brush around them burned. It looked like the prep you guys did saved the buildings, and the wind had lost enough intensity by the time the fire got that far that it was throwing up fewer firebrands and staying lower to the ground. Fox will come back later today. They’ll all probably get a hotel room here for the next few nights so they can visit during the day.”

Alex let out a slow breath in relief. They still had their homes. Whatever else, William still had his room and his things to go back to. He had one more question though.

“And what about you? How long are you going to stay?”

Walter stood then and leaned in to caress Alex’s cheek and place a gentle kiss on his temple.

“I'll stay for as long as you'll let me, in whatever way you want me in your life.”

Alex smiled weakly then, exhaustion clawing at him.

"Yeah?"

“Yeah, Alex. But we can talk more about it later. You just rest now.”

Alex fell asleep to the feel of a warm hand covering his own.

\-----

Alex ended up sleeping most of the rest of that day and night. He woke the next morning to find William sitting cross-legged in the visitor chair quietly working on a coloring book. The boy's brow, covered by a shock of shaggy auburn hair, was furrowed in concentration, and he hadn't noticed that Alex was awake yet. He was about to get the boy's attention and ask where his parents were when the door opened to admit Dana carrying a cup of coffee.

She smiled when she saw he was awake. “Hey, Alex. Glad to see you’re back with us. How are you feeling?”  
  
William’s head jerked up when Dana spoke, and a loud cry of “Uncle Alex!” accompanied by an enthusiastic half-hug on his good side interrupted any chance he had for a response.  
  
“Hey buddy. What have you been up to?” Alex said more sedately.  
  
“Your room is kind of boring. I’m making you a picture to hang up in here.”  
  
William grabbed the book he had been working out of and held it up to show Alex his detailed coloring of the outlined Ninja Turtle.  
  
Alex smiled. “That’s awesome, Will. This place really does need some color.”  
  
“I’m going to go ask a nurse for some tape!” He jumped up and ran from the room.  
  
“He’s got them all sweet talked into giving him anything at this point,” Dana smiled indulgently.  
  
She moved further into the room and sat down. Alex felt strangely vulnerable without Walter there. He figured it might not be the healthiest thing, but he wanted the man’s calm presence with him all the time. He hadn’t even fully processed the ramifications of his injury yet, but he knew he didn’t want to go through it all alone. He’d spent his whole life alone in all the ways that counted, and right now he selfishly wanted someone that was there only for him.  
  
Dana must have read his mind, because she answered his unspoken question. “We gave Walter the key to our hotel room a while ago and sent him for a shower and a nap. I told him to take a couple hours, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up any minute now.”  
  
William came back in carrying a tape dispenser triumphantly and was followed by a nurse who did the usual vitals check. Alex was grateful for a little more pain medication, as he could tell his last dose was starting to wear off. He was just getting sleepy from the drugs again when the man who seemed to be invading his head and heart returned.

Alex smiled as Walter crossed the room and sat in the chair closest to him. He hoped the relief he wasn't able to hide in his expression wasn't too pathetic.

“Hey, you. Feeling okay?”

“Better with more of the good drugs. Tired though.”

Dana took that as her cue and got William to gather up his things. His masterpiece of the morning was already hanging on the wall.

“We’ll get out of your hair for a while. I need to call and check in with Fox anyway. He's helping with some cleanup. Once the fire hit the highway, they were able to get it contained.”

Soon enough Alex and Walter were alone in the room. Alex felt bad he didn't have more energy to talk to the man, to figure out this thing between them. He was glad to have Walter there while he slept though.

“I have a feeling I'm going to be really selfish when it comes to you,” Alex said, even as he closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“Oh yeah? How so?”

Alex turned his head and smiled up into those brown eyes again. “You're mine now. You said you'd stay, so now you're mine. I'm going to take whatever you offer and use you for my own comfort and reassurance because you're here just for me. I'm going to take advantage of that to get through this, and just maybe you'll stay long enough for me to return the favor.”

Walter smiled indulgently, which made Alex realize that maybe the pain killers made him reveal more than he intended. It didn't matter though because Walter was smiling at him.

“Whatever you need, Alex. I don't think it's selfish at all. If it is, well then I'm selfish too because I’ve got you stuck in place for a while, and I'm not letting you walk away this time.”

They didn't say anything else, anything that would be actual words of commitment or declarations of love. Alex was glad for that. Someday when his head was clear and he wasn't broken and lying in the hospital, he'd like to say those words to the man, but today wasn't the right time. He fell asleep to the feel of fingers combing through his hair.

\-----

It had been a long couple of weeks. Dana and William had been in and out, and Fox had come back for one day and given him a full update on their property. Most of the surrounding trees were scorched or burned, and a lot of the underbrush had been consumed. Their yard maintenance and the work they'd done before Alex had been injured had saved the buildings.

Alex had just finished his third session with the physical therapist, and he was currently in pain and in a bad mood. The physical therapist was great, and they had a solid plan for rehab going forward that Alex was committed to, but facing the reality of the fact that his arm would never recover one hundred percent was difficult. He was trying hard not to take his anger at the situation out on Walter or any of the nurses, but it was a close thing.  
  
Walter had gone out to grab some food while Alex had been down in the occupational therapy ward. After two weeks spending almost all their time together, he could read Alex like a book, and he figured out his mood before Alex even uttered a word.  
  
“Hey, will a cookie cheer you up? I grabbed you one at the coffee shop.”  
  
Alex grunted. “It won’t, but I’ll take it anyway.”  
  
Alex was sitting in bed, and Walter came over to sit on the edge, handing him the cookie and leaning in to give him a peck on the temple.  
  
“You in pain?”  
  
“Yup.”  
  
“That all that’s going on here? Because you look like you’re ready to take someone’s head off.”  
  
Alex bit off a large bite of cookie aggressively and chewed. “I’m angry.”  
  
Walter sighed. “Yeah, I got that. Questions I have are ‘why’ and ‘how can I help.’”  
  
Alex got through half the cookie before he stopped and really thought about the questions.  
  
“You help just by being here.” He sighed and continued. “I’m worried about the business. About getting through the coming season. About my permanent limitations.”  
  
His voice cracked against his volition on the last word.  
  
“You know they’ll be fine, right? I talked to Fox the other day. He’s already got odd construction jobs lined up to last him through summer working on rebuilding and repairs from the fire. Their comfort doesn’t stand on your ability to work. At some point, you have to let yourself off the hook for what happened in the past.”

Alex’s mood abruptly boiled over.  
  
“Right. I’ll just go ahead and get over it. I won’t worry every day that they resent me for forcing them to leave, for putting their son’s life in danger!”  
  
“For fuck’s sake Alex! Stop feeling guilty or you’re never going to be able to move on with your life! I should know that better than anyone! It almost cost me you!”  
  
They were both breathing hard after the quick flare of tempers. Alex met Walter’s eyes defiantly for a moment before relenting and looking away.  
  
“You’re right,” Alex said quietly, still looking away. “You’re right, but I think I’ll always feel this sense of owing them a debt.”  
  
Walter let out a breath. “Yeah, okay. But you’re forgetting that they think of you as more than just some guy Fox worked with. They’re your friends. Hell, at this point, they’re probably more family than any blood relative of yours ever was. Family takes care of each other. Two-way street, babe.”  
  
Alex turned and met Walter’s eyes, seeing only affection there rather than the frustration they had both been displaying a moment ago. He smiled at the endearment. Walter had started laying them on thick whenever any of the hospital staff was around. Partly to keep up his image of doting boyfriend, and partly to wind Alex up. This one seemed to have stuck, and Alex found he didn’t mind.  
  
“Thanks. Thanks for putting up with me. I know I’m a bear right now.”  
  
Walter just smiled and leaned in close. “I’ll put up with you any day, any time, for as long as you’ll let me.”   
  
Alex met him then in a kiss that was soft and sweet, but intense. His pain and worries about the future faded to background noise in his head. When they parted, he just barely held in a noise of displeasure. Now they were out of breath for a different reason. They hadn’t had any true privacy here in the hospital, and the heat between them was slowly growing. Alex had already been making plans for how to work around his cast once he got out of there and they got some time alone.  
  
Once again Walter seemed to read his mind. “So you’re getting discharged in two days. That’s got to feel good.”  
  
“I can’t wait to be in my own bed again, that’s for sure,” Alex replied, contenting himself for the moment to twine the fingers of his right hand with Walter’s.  
  
“Do you—have you talked about—” Walter’s nervous hesitation was confusing.  
  
“What?” Alex prompted.  
  
“Have you thought about how you’re going to get help with everyday stuff back home?” Walter gestured to Alex’s left arm, which was now in the second iteration of a cast that extended from upper arm to wrist, elbow bent at a ninety-degree angle.  
  
“Huh. I guess not. I was just planning on figuring it out as I went and managing myself.”  
  
Walter shook his head, half in amusement. “You forgetting the fact that I might actually want to help you? That you don’t have to muddle through on your own anymore?”  
  
Alex smiled as he finally understood what Walter was hedging at.  
  
“Walter, would you like to move in with me at the lodge while I heal up?”  
  
The man grunted, but a small smile turned the corners of his mouth.  
  
“Well someone has to look out for your fine ass because you certainly aren’t willing to do it yourself.”  
  
Alex smiled wide and used his good hand to pull Walter in for another kiss. After a moment, he pulled back and met Walter’s searching gaze.  
  
“I love you, Walter.”  
  
He heard the other man’s breath catch as the words hung in the air between them. Then Walter moved, hands coming up to cup Alex’s cheeks tenderly.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
They shared matching grins and the kissing resumed, accompanied by playful nips and low laughter.

\-----

Not twenty-four hours after they had gotten settled back in at the lodge, Walter moving in to Alex’s room there for the time being, they got an unexpected knock on the door in the late afternoon. Alex still tired easily, and was currently ensconced on the couch with his feet up. June had turned warm, so the fireplace wasn’t currently in use, but the room still felt warm and cozy compared to the sterile hospital environment he’d been confined to. The only real difference since he had last been there was the still scorched swath of landscape stretching beyond the yard that now dominated the view out the nearest window.  
  
Walter stood from where he’d been sitting next to Alex, thighs touching, as he read. Alex was taken aback when as soon as Walter began opening the door, a whirlwind accompanied by a female voice passed through the great room on its way to the kitchen. Alex caught the more sedate conversation between the other person at the door and Walter.  
  
“Sorry if we’re intruding, but Mom told me I was driving her over here to cook dinner as soon as she heard your Alex was home from the hospital.”  
  
“It’s no problem, Mark. I think we could both do with a home cooked meal about now,” Alex heard Walter reply. “How did she find out when we’d be home?”  
  
“After you told her why you’d be gone for a while, she tracked down Dana and they’ve been becoming friendly and plotting world domination ever since.”  
  
Walter laughed. “Of course. Well, come on in.”  
  
They came into view as they walked around into the seating area. Alex sat forward to greet the guest.  
  
“Alex, this is Mark Victor, Bella’s son. Mark this is Alex Krycek.”  
  
They shook hands and Mark spoke.  
  
“Glad to see you’re okay. Sorry to barge in like this. It’s hard to derail Mom when she gets an idea in her head.”  
  
Alex chuckled. “Hey, I’m not going to say no to someone cooking me dinner after weeks of hospital food. Besides, I’ve heard so many stories over the last few months, I’m looking forward to finally meeting your mother in person.”  
  
As if she heard her summons, Bella came bustling out of the kitchen.  
  
“Lasagna’s in the oven. Now, I need to get a look at my boys here,” Bella said as she appraised the three men seated in the couch and chairs before her.  
  
Alex stood despite her protests and held out his hand. “I’m glad to finally meet you, ma’am.”  
  
She surprised him by pulling him into a tight hug. She was much shorter and had less physical strength than Alex, but he felt the enormity of her presence nonetheless.  
  
Bella leaned up to whisper in his ear, “I’m so glad you’re okay, Alex. So very glad. Walter needs you.”  
  
She leaned back and held his face in her hands, appraising him.  
  
“I need him too,” he admitted softly, but earnestly.  
  
Her wrinkled face broke into a bright grin at that.  
  
“Well, good to see you both got your heads out of your asses!” she crowed, slapping him on the back and turning to head back toward the kitchen.  
  
Mark sputtered, and Walter laughed. Alex couldn’t help but smile and be grateful he was home.

\-----

Alex woke slowly, riding the sensations of a dream about Walter’s wet hot mouth on him, only to find it was reality. He let out a surprised groan as Walter sank down on him again and swallowed around the head of his cock. Alex opened his eyes to see the man looking up at him as he worked, and had to quickly grip the base of his cock with the fingers of his right hand to stop himself from coming then and there.  
  
“Oh fuck, Walter. It’s been so long. Not going to last if you keep that up.” Alex tipped his head back as he tried to hold back his body’s reaction.  
  
They’d been back at the lodge a few days, but between Alex’s exhaustion, a couple trips back into town for physical therapy appointments, and the concerned hovering of various members of the Mulder family, they hadn’t really had time to consider anything beyond some passionate but all-too-brief kisses.  
  
Walter slowly pulled back and then took Alex’s cock into his mouth a few more beautifully torturous times before Alex grabbed his shoulder, encouraging him to move up and kiss him. Their lips met in a rush, communicating through their intensity all of the tension that had been between them and the relief that they were both here now. Alex was propped carefully on a couple of pillows, and Walter slowly pulled off Alex’s sleep pants so he was as blissfully naked as the man above him already was. Walter settled carefully between his spread legs, bracing himself on his elbows as they continued to make out.  
  
Alex realized their hard cocks were trapped between them, and it was only a small movement of his hips that brought them together. Walter gasped into his mouth as their cocks rubbed along each other. Alex tried to get a rhythm going, thrusting his hips up into Walter a few times. Walter pulled back slightly and broke their kiss. He brought a hand down to wrap around them and stroked once.  
  
“You should let me do the work.”  
  
Alex thrust again rebelliously and smiled as Walter hissed in pleasure.  
  
“I’m not going to break. Come on.”  
  
For a moment, Alex thought it had been the wrong thing to say. Walter rested his forehead against Alex’s and took a few breaths with his eyes closed. Maybe it was too soon for both of them to be reminded of how it could have all gone so wrong.  
  
“I’m sorry –” Alex started, but Walter interrupted.  
  
“No, don’t be sorry.” He moved to place another kiss on Alex’s lips. “I love you. So much. I’m back with you now.”  
  
“Love you too, Walter.” Alex paused for a moment, neither of them knowing quite how to get back to where they had been a moment ago. “So… are you going to fuck me anytime soon? Or just lie there holding my dick?”  
  
That startled a laugh out of Walter, and he didn’t hesitate this time to lean in and suck an already kiss-swollen lip into his mouth. He began stroking them again slowly, and Alex closed his eyes and let himself get lost once more in the sensations. He breathed in deep the scent of them together, and moaned low on his exhale when Walter twisted his wrist just right on the upstroke.

Walter slowly increased his pace, and the feel of their cocks trapped together and the large hand passing over them had heat pooling in Alex’s gut in no time. He started to move, meeting Walter’s strokes with small thrusts of his hips. They were perfectly in sync and swallowed each other’s gasps and moans as they continued to kiss through the building pleasure.  
  
Walter pulled back and looked down at Alex without pausing the movement of his hand.  
  
“I’m close. Come with me, babe.”  
  
He ran his thumb over their cockheads, and Alex arched slightly into his hand.  
  
“Let go. Come on, Sasha. Come for me.”  
  
It was the familiar name falling from Walter’s lips in this unfamiliar way, full of love and heat and promise, that had Alex coming instantly. Walter sped up for a few strokes and then was coming right along with him, their release mingling between them.  
  
Walter slowly pulled away and rolled to his back beside Alex. They lay quietly trying to catch their breath for a bit.  
  
“Say it again.”  
  
“Hm?” Walter rolled up onto his side, head propped on his elbow to look at Alex.  
  
“Call me that again.”  
  
Walter’s eyes lit with realization, and he spoke quietly, reaching out to cup Alex’s cheek and stroke his thumb over his lips. “I love you, Sasha.”  
  
Alex smiled. It sounded so right. In his past life, he never would have imagined having someone who would love him like this. Someone who would take his past and present and accept it, just as he did theirs. What they were building between them was theirs alone, and Alex felt cherished when Walter called him by a name that only one other person in his life had cared enough to call him.  
  
“Love you too,” Alex smiled as he replied.  
  
\-----  
  
The middle of summer passed quickly. After Alex’s cast came off, the rehab started in earnest, and every step of progress was slow and painful. Walter watched as Alex powered through, committed to regaining as much function as possible. For as hard as Alex worked, Walter made it his goal to spoil the man in equal measure.

He offered up blow jobs as a reward for completing daily exercises. He cooked them nice meals that they sometimes shared with Fox, Dana, and Will, or sometimes just the two of them enjoyed. After physical therapy or doctor appointments in the city, sometimes he'd take Alex out for coffee or lunch.

On the days that left Alex's arm trembling and cramping, and his shoulder and back aching, Walter would lay him out on the bed and rub lotion into Alex's scars. He would get out massage oil and work over Alex's back and shoulders until the green eyes would flutter closed in relaxation. Then Walter would gently caress and massage Alex's arm.

Some areas could barely tolerate touch. He’d learned that early on. Walter worked gentle hands around injured muscle and tendons stretched tight. The way the tissues had been removed and repaired meant that Alex couldn't fully straighten his arm, and it hung at a subtly odd angle most of the time. The small areas where dead muscle was removed meant the upper left arm was considerably weaker than the right. Alex's hand, however, was gaining back strength every day, and Walter knew Alex was most grateful for that.

Alex repaid his care and attention tenfold by opening himself to Walter with no reservations. Their relationship flourished as the intensity of the accident and recovery forced them to be vulnerable with each other. Walter accepted it as an unexpected silver lining to everything they had been through in the last several months.

It was after one such massage and the nap that followed that they finally had the conversation that had been looming over them like a cloud since the accident. Walter was lying stretched along Alex’s side. The younger man slept on his back most often these days.

Walter had woken before him and was gently running his fingers over his collarbone and sternum in aimless pattern. Alex had lost some weight and muscle definition in the past several weeks, but he was no less handsome because of it in Walter's eyes. The light touches finally woke Alex and he turned his head so his green eyes made contact with Walter's.

“Mm. Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.”

“This is nice, thanks.”

"How are you feeling?”

“My back is better, thanks.” Alex closed his eyes for a moment again, then suddenly chuckled to himself. “You know, I've been asked that question so many times in the past couple months, it's sort of ridiculous.”

“I'm sorry.”

Alex opened his eyes to look at Walter. “No, don't be. I don't mind it when you ask.”

They lapsed into silence, just relaxing in the moment.

"We have clients booked in a couple weeks,” Alex said quietly and sighed. “I think we've put off the conversation about what we're going to do about the business as long as we can.”

Walter didn't respond right away. He lay tracing patterns on Alex's skin a few moments longer as he contemplated bringing up the idea he'd been stewing on since the accident.

“I don't have many living expenses.”

Alex turned to look at Walter again, appearing surprised at the non-sequitur.

“I bought my house outright and my Marines retirement pay is more than I need for the basics out here.”

Alex continued to look confused.

“What I'm trying to say is that I'd like to partner in the business with you and Fox. If that’s something you think would work.”

Alex still didn't reply, brow furrowed in thought.

“With the money I could invest, you'd probably be able to hire a guy or two to get through this season. Maybe expand in the future.”

Walter stopped himself. He wasn't going to keep rambling like a child. He was a grown-ass man, and he would talk like one, even if he did feel like his future and his heart were both riding on this.

Alex shifted to sit up against the headboard, moving a bit awkwardly relying only on one arm for strength and leverage.

"Is that something you really want?” Alex looked at him carefully. “If I weren't in the picture, would it still be something you'd want?”

Walter sat up as well and turned to face Alex.

“Without you, we wouldn't be in this situation. So no, it wasn't something I ever thought I'd want before I met you.”

He paused and reached to grasp Alex's left hand, tangling their fingers together.

“But see, that's the thing. Without you, I'd still be that shell of my former self living on my own and wallowing in my own grief and self-pity. You've changed me so much in just the short time I've known you that the question isn't even relevant.”

Alex just looked at him for a moment. Walter waited patiently.

“You know, I've trusted you pretty much from day one. I don't really know why, but it's true. If you think this is what you want, then I think we go for it.”

Alex smiled then and leaned in. Walter met him for a soft kiss.

“Fox and Dana are coming over for supper tonight, let's talk about it with them then,” Alex said before leaning in for another, longer kiss.

They got lost in each other for a while, the world’s problems put off to be solved over dinner.


	7. Chapter 7

Their conversation over dinner a couple weeks back had gone well. Fox and Dana were completely on-board with Walter joining their little team, and they were grateful to be able to hire a couple people to help that season. They were facing turning away clients for the bigger game that year because it took so much physical effort to pack the meat and haul it out of the bush. The fact was that Alex would never regain his full strength and mobility, and if the new employees worked out, they had all agreed it would be a good idea to keep them on permanently. Alex was adamant about pulling his weight and getting back into the field eventually, but he accepted Walter’s help and was content to focus on his rehab for now.  
  
Mulder had gone right out and hired a couple of guys that week. He’d met a lot of new people working construction jobs that summer and knew of two who would be interested in work through the fall and following spring. Alex wasn’t at all surprised to find Fox had found them a couple of people that were both quirky and mysterious. He seemed to attract that type. They were both skilled in their own way though, and with Fox and Alex planning the hunts, a couple of guys to do the grunt work was all that was needed for now.  
  
They soon discovered, however, their new employees had some interesting skills that lent themselves well to hunting and backcountry survival.

“Shit.”  
  
“What?” Alex questioned Fox’s outburst.  
  
“My lighter’s empty. I didn’t think about refilling it before we came out here. You got anything on you?”  
  
They were out on a scouting trip with the two new guys. They figured it gave them a chance to get to know each other a bit better and prepare them for the season ahead. In Alex’s case, it also gave him an excuse to spend a couple days away from Walter. Not that he hadn’t loved every minute they spent together, but Walter needed to take time for himself too, and he hadn’t been. Mulder was dutifully seeing to it that Alex didn’t overextend himself, and that he kept up with his daily exercises.   
  
The result was that Alex wasn’t allowed to carry a pack and was pretty much out for a glorified walk. They planned to stay over one night in an area they normally hunted moose. He’d been moving a bit slower than usual, but it felt good to be out on his own. Fox was reaching new extremes in mother-henning him, but he figured that was more due to the fact that Walter had given him a lecture on the care and keeping of his boyfriend before they’d left rather than any actual doubts of Alex’s improved health. He was determined endure it gracefully for all their sakes.  
  
“I didn’t pack for myself, remember? You always make our fires, so I don’t worry about that. Neither of you brought anything either?” Alex turned to question the other two members of their group.  
  
“Sorry, I usually pack my flint, but I can’t find it. Must have left it behind by mistake,” Jack, older of the two, replied, looking a bit sheepish.  
  
“Okay, I think this is the first time since I met you that I really believe you’re from New York. Running around Alaska for a few years, but you’re still just a city slicker,” Mac, the nickname by which the other new guy was known, said to Fox. “No fire starter among four of us? All our boy scout badges are going to be revoked.”  
  
Fox glared in mock offense at Mac. “All right, smartass. Got any bright ideas? Otherwise we’re having cold beans for dinner.”  
  
Mac didn’t respond, he just turned and started rummaging through one of the packs. Angus “Mac” Macgyver was young. He was a few years past 21, but barely looked old enough to legally drink. He was smart and hardworking, but he seemed unwilling to reveal much about himself other than the bare minimum of information. He didn’t seem to have any ties to anyone else, and they weren’t even sure if he had a place to call home. His car certainly looked like he might have been living out of it. Alex wasn’t in a position to judge. He and Fox had a vague story about city boys wanting to get back to nature they told people they met. Walter was the only person that knew the truth.  
  
Fox had met Mac when he joined the crew of a contractor working on a few houses in the area. He had met their other employee working on that crew as well - a guy named Jack Dalton. Former military, but not forthcoming with the details. Alex assumed special ops but wasn’t nosey enough to push for more information. Only a few hours into their little camping trip, they’d learned Jack was a pretty good tracker when he helped them scout down a moose trail. It was probably a skill adapted from his military days, and Alex was glad that there would be someone out on the hunts that could track an animal besides Fox. They might be reformed city boys, but they’d learned the skills they needed to succeed well.  
  
After a few moments, Mac pulled a chocolate bar out of his pack, and asked Fox for the six pack of beer he knew had been packed for their evening meal. Fox produced it with an amused look on his face and just waited to see what Mac would do with the items. Alex didn’t know how he’d start a fire like that, but he was hoping it worked. A cold supper was not ideal.  
  
They watched Mac work quickly, using a piece of chocolate to polish the bottom of one of the aluminum beer cans. He used his handkerchief to shine it in between polishing. In a few minutes it was shining almost like a mirror, and Mack turned to focus the sun’s light on the tinder with the shiny concave surface of the bottom of the can. Fortunately for them, the sun was still high in the sky with the long days of August, even though it was early evening. It took just a couple of minutes of patience until a tendril of smoke began to rise from the kindling, and just seconds after that before it caught enough to flame.  
  
Fox let out a whoop and clapped Mac on the shoulder.  
  
“Atta boy!”  
  
Jack reached out to snag the piece of chocolate set aside, but Mac stopped him from bringing it to his mouth with a hand on his wrist.  
  
“You can’t eat it now. It would be toxic from the chemical reaction with the aluminum.”  
  
Jack seemed a bit surprised at the contact, and Alex was almost sure he saw the start of a blush.  
  
“Waste of good chocolate,” Jack mumbled as he tossed it into the fire.  
  
Fox laughed. “At least he didn’t waste the beer!”  
  
They ended up having a pleasant evening sitting around the fire and sharing a good meal and a couple beers. They mostly talked business, but it was relaxed and pleasant.  
  
“So how much do we need to suck up to clients? I got to be honest here and say that I’m not always the most tactful person.” Jack looked up from watching the fire as he spoke.  
  
“This is only our second full year with clients, and I can tell you that last year we worked really hard to keep them happy. We really needed the money at the time. Fortunately, we’re in a situation now where losing one won’t break us. There was an incident last year that almost lost us a guy, but Alex ended up saving the situation. That’s actually how he met Walter, and now they’re all adorable.”  
  
“Mulder,” Alex said warningly.  
  
“Oh. You and Walter are together?” Mac asked with a furrowed brow.  
  
Alex sighed. He hoped this didn’t all go wrong before it started.  
  
“Yeah, I thought that was obvious. We share the big bedroom at the lodge.”  
  
Mac looked confused. “But Jack and I bunk in the same room there. I thought you did it to leave more bedrooms open for clients.”  
  
“You didn’t notice their bedroom had one bed and yours had two?” Fox questioned, clearly amused at how this was playing out.  
  
Mac stuttered a bit. “Well, ah, I guess not.”  
  
Mac had struck Alex as the kind of guy that’s so smart, sometimes he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him. He had to know if it would affect their working relationship though.  
  
“If it’s a problem, it’s best if you tell us you want out now. We need time to hire someone else.”  
  
“Oh! No! I mean no problem from me. I really like you guys. I mean not like like, but I just think you’re cool guys, and I’ll shut up now.” Mac was blushing bright red by the time he was done, and Fox was laughing so hard he was doubled over.  
  
Jack just sat with an amused smirk observing the whole conversation.  
  
“Wow. Okay. Jack? We good?” Alex questioned.  
  
Jack put his hands up as if in surrender. “All good here, boss. I’m bi. Don’t see a point in limiting my options.”

Fox clapped his hands together. “Well, that was all sorts of awkward. Let’s get the tents up and turn in. Long hike back tomorrow.”  
  
\-----  
  
It was a couple weeks later when Alex walked into the bedroom he shared with Walter at the lodge and closed the door behind him. He paused there to take in the sight that greeted him. Walter was sitting back against the headboard, reading by the light of the bedside lamp. He was dressed only in sleep pants, and the dusting of salt and pepper hair that covered his chest practically glowed in the low light.  
  
“Hey there.”  
  
Walter looked up and smiled wide, corners of his eyes crinkled. “Hey, yourself.”  
  
He put the book down on the nightstand and patted the bed beside him. “Going to join me?”  
  
“Definitely,” Alex replied, and got in the opposite side of the bed.  
  
As soon as he had lain down, Walter turned to him and took him in a bruising kiss. When they finally broke it off, Alex smirked up at him.  
  
“Plans for the evening?”  
  
“Plans for you,” Walter practically growled, and moved in for another intense kiss.  
  
His hands moved down Alex’s neck and shoulders, and then farther to the hem of the t-shirt he had worn to bed. Alex lifted his arms to help in getting it off faster. As soon as the garment was tossed aside, Walter began kissing his way across Alex’s chest, eventually making his way to a nipple. Gently working at it with his tongue had Alex moaning and arching into the attention. He repeated his actions on the other side, and after a few minutes Alex was panting and shifting his hips restlessly.  
  
Alex decided he needed more now and moved his hands to the waistband of Walter’s pants.  
  
“Off. Now.”  
  
Walter chuckled and reached down to help where Alex’s weaker left hand wasn’t able to push them past his hip. Alex loved that he always knew when to help and when to hold back and let Alex do things for himself. He liked that he had been able to regain most of his independence, but he would not turn down help in getting his lover naked faster.  
  
After a little maneuvering, they were both undressed, and Walter had pushed the covers down the bed so they had room to play. They met again in the middle and made out for a while, hands wandering freely over warm skin. Alex began rocking his hips into Walter’s, starting a lazy rhythm as they kissed. His right hand rested on Walter’s shoulder, while his left explored his back. He alternately rubbed patterns and gently ran his nails down the other man’s spine, the heat of their kiss growing as the sensations worked Walter’s arousal higher.  
  
Alex ran his hand down the sweat-dampened back once again, and brushed his fingers into the crease. Walter bucked and cried out in surprised pleasure.  
  
“You like that?” Alex whispered into his ear. “You want more?” Alex ran his fingers with intent this time across the man’s hole.  
  
“Oh, god yes! Please!”  
  
Alex chuckled. “You’ve never brought it up before, so I assumed you didn’t like it. You really have to communicate better, Walter. I could have fucked you a long time ago if you had.”  
  
Walter brought their mouths together again with a moan and they kissed sloppily for a few seconds before he pulled back and moved to lay on his back beside Alex. Alex moved to grab supplies from the nightstand, and rolled back to face Walter. He paused for a moment, contemplating his options and looking at the gorgeous man stretched out on the bed, but then sighed in defeat.  
  
“I don’t think I have the balance or strength to do this. I’d probably end up falling on top of you, and it would be about the least romantic thing ever.”  
  
Alex was planning to suggest they do something else instead, but before he could get another word out, Walter was moving and rolling him onto his back. He was a graceful man considering his height, and it seemed effortless for Alex to find himself lying on his back with Walter kneeling up over his waist, bracing his hands on Alex’s shoulders.  
  
“There is no way you’re not coming inside me tonight. You don’t get to tease me with that and then back out,” Walter said with a smile. “Come on. It’s been a while so I might need some extra prep, but I want to ride you until I can’t see straight.”  
  
Alex’s cock jerked at the image that brought to mind, dripping pre-come on his abdomen. He quickly lubed three fingers of his right hand and placed them just behind Walter’s already heavy balls. He slowly stroked backward toward his entrance, causing Walter to shudder and curse above him. He circled the silky skin of his hole only a couple times before slowly pushing one finger all the way inside.  
  
Walter was so tight around his finger. He couldn’t wait to feel those fluttering walls around his cock, but he definitely needed to stretch him first. He set up a rhythm, and Walter began rocking back into his hand eagerly. Alex pulled out and pushed two fingers into the relaxing hole. He adjusted his angle, and Walter cried out as Alex brushed across his prostate.  
  
Things progressed quickly after that. Walter relaxed enough to take three fingers easily, and soon Alex was pushing the blunt head of his cock against the man above him. Walter began sinking back, and Alex pushed up into him in counterpoint. He went slow. Alex was glad because he didn't want to hurt him, but it was taking all his will to keep himself from thrusting into the heat of Walter's body.

Finally they were there. Joined together in a way that was both new and yet familiar to them. They paused a moment there together, looking at each other, both men an open book displaying their love freely. Then Walter moved.

Alex let out a low moan at the friction.

“Fuck, Walter.”

The man above him looked wrecked, like the pleasure was too much and not enough at the same time. Walter lifted slightly and sank back down, unable to stay silent. He let out soft breathy grunts each time he moved down onto Alex's hard cock. Alex closed his eyes and drank in the sounds and sensations of them moving together.

Walter paused in their rhythm and moved to change the angle a bit. He lifted up again and Alex thrust up to meet him.

“Yes! Fuck, right there.”

Alex kept meeting him thrust for thrust. Both of them were losing the rhythm now as they neared climax. Alex was surprised when heat rushed suddenly through his groin and he was coming hard, world greying at the edges. He blinked back to awareness to see Walter still seated fully on him, cock still hard and leaking.

Alex brought his right hand up and stroked Walter once slowly. The bald head bent as he shuddered.

“More. I'm so close,” Walter begged roughly.

Alex pressed his hips tight to Walter's ass, so his softening cock wouldn't slip out just yet, and set a steady rhythm with his hand. It only took a half dozen pulls before Walter was shouting his release. He collapsed forward to lie on Alex’s chest, breathing hard.

“You're beautiful when you come,” Walter said quietly against Alex's shoulder. “That moment when you let go, and I know it's for me, that's amazing to watch.”

Alex didn't know what to say to that. Walter was one of those people that sounded eloquent whether he was talking about vacuums or philosophy. He decided to show rather than tell. Alex cupped Walter's cheek and drew him in for a long tender kiss.

When they finally parted, Walter went into the en-suite bathroom and came back with a warm rag to wash them. Clean enough for the night, they pulled the covers up and settled wrapped around each other. They lay in silence for a few moments before Walter spoke again.

“So the new guys seem to be working out. The first clients seemed happy.”

“Yeah. Having you here to cook for everyone when they came back was a big hit too. I know Fox already said it, but thank you for saving our business. It was all some crazy idea we had when we first ran, but now that we made it work it's more than just survival. Now I miss being out there. The cleansing and unforgiving mountains. The thrill of helping someone bag their once-in-a-lifetime trophy. It became ours in a deep way, and now you're part of that.”

Alex stopped himself from rambling on. He knew it hadn't needed to be said, but he appreciated everything Walter had done in his life since the accident so much. He had a feeling he would be living the rest of their lives always saying thank you to this man.

Walter's answer was to place a soft kiss on Alex's lips.

"Do you know if Fox knows much about Mac?”

“Hm? No. Why?” Alex replied.

“I think he's a runaway. He admitted to me he dropped out of high school today. I was asking him where he learned a particular trick with making a cleaning solution for the oven. I assumed he must have gone to college or something to have that kind of knowledge of chemistry, so I asked him where he got his degree. He told me he didn't even have a high school diploma.”

“Huh,” Alex was surprised. The kid was clearly a genius. Why would he have run? Why hadn't he settled down anywhere since then?

Alex himself was a runaway of sorts. He worried a little about a man with no roots or connections, but he figured that wouldn't last for long knowing Walter and the Mulder family. They'd adopt Mac just like they had him, if given half an opportunity. The kid didn't stand a chance.

They lapsed into silence once more, but just as Alex was relaxing into sleep, he felt and heard soft words across his neck.

“Love you, Sasha.”

Alex sighed in contentment. “Love you too.”

\-----

Alex stood on the porch of the lodge, sipping coffee and taking in the scene before him. The landscape past the yard was still scared and dark with burned wood, but there was some green underbrush beginning to make its way back. It was well into September, and though the air had turned cool, they hadn’t had a hard freeze yet. Mac was out by the shed running the wood splitter. As Alex watched him work, he contemplated the younger man.  
  
They’d all tried at some point or other to draw him out a little more, but the guy was clearly uncomfortable talking about himself. Even Alex would share little details of his past if asked. He’d freely share the fact that his father was an ass if asked about his family, even if he wouldn’t tell anyone exactly who his father was. It was actually pretty impressive how easily Mac deflected conversation and talked about anything and everything around him until you forgot what you asked him in the first place.  
  
Then there was the way he acted around Alex and Walter. After their little team bonding trip, Alex thought they had cleared the air on that front. Since then it seemed like Mac only got more awkward and uncomfortable around them. They weren’t as publicly touchy-feely as Fox and Dana were. That just wasn’t part of either of their personalities. They lived in the same building as Mac and Jack though, so they occasionally witnessed displays of affection. A stolen kiss in the kitchen. Leaning into each other on the couch in front of the fire.  
  
Mac always became so stiff and seemingly uncomfortable when those moments happened. At first it really rankled Alex because he perceived it as some kind of homophobia. Now that he’d had more time to watch Mac though, he was starting to have another theory. Mac was often nervous and awkward with them, but Alex caught him watching them just as frequently. Maybe the reason Mac was so clearly unattached to any family wasn’t so different from his own.

Now the question was whether to call him on it. Mac had clearly been on his own for a while and still seemed uncomfortable in his own skin. Alex decided that maybe he needed a little push. Maybe he needed someone to give him an opening to be honest with himself.

Mind made up, Alex wandered back inside. He'd take the next opportunity to talk to Mac alone and find out if his suspicions were correct. He was a good guy. He deserved to live the life he wanted. Maybe he just needed someone to tell him that.

\-----

A couple evenings later, Alex found Mac sitting out on the porch steps alone. They were between clients, and everyone was enjoying a little down time. The light from the great room filtered out through the window, as did the guitar music coming from Walter's playing. He had brought a guitar back with him after one of his trips home, and Alex was both delighted to find he played very well and a little disappointed he hadn't brought it sooner.

Alex went and sat on the same step as Mac. Mac turned and smiled at him.

“He’s good.”

“Yeah, he is,” Alex replied.

They lapsed into silence, listening to the muffled sounds of the music.

“So I think I’ve figured you out.”  
  
Mac eyes widened minutely, but that was the only clue that he was nervous about where this was going.  
  
“You don’t talk about your past. You don’t have a high school diploma. When we hired you for this job, you were living out of your car. You don’t have any connections here.”  
  
“Being a loner and doing what it takes to make ends meet are not crimes,” Mac broke in defiantly.  
  
“See, but there are a couple more pieces to this puzzle. You’re obviously brilliant, so it doesn’t really make sense that you would drop out of high school.” Alex paused before dropping the bombshell. “And then there’s the way you act around me and Walter.”  
  
Mac looked away, clearly uncomfortable with where the conversation was going.  
  
“There it is again. You act so uncomfortable around us. At first I thought maybe homophobia. I’ve dealt with it plenty before. Hell, I grew up with a father that hated me for it.”  
  
Mac jerked his head back suddenly to meet Alex’s gaze, and Alex filed that away as more evidence to support his theory.  
  
“But now, now I think its jealousy. I think you ran away from something, and I think it’s because you’re gay. I also think the something that you ran from was your family.”  
  
Alex held Mac’s gaze, watching the varying emotions cross the younger man’s face. After a moment, it clearly became too much, and Mac dropped his face into his hands, breathing harsh wet breaths. Alex let him gather his composure.

“I’m sorry. Normally I wouldn’t push like this. I have my own reasons for keeping my distance sometimes, but you seem unhappy.”  
  
Alex stopped then. Figuring he’d said plenty. Now he waited to see if Mac wanted to talk any of it out, or if he was wrong all together. Though judging by Mac’s emotional reaction, he wasn’t. Mac cleared his throat, looking like he was barely holding back tears, but none fell. He looked out into the darkness as he spoke.  
  
“My dad died when I was younger. My mom and grandpa raised me mostly. Mom was fine, but worked a lot. Grandpa was…old school. Believed in hard work and traditional family values.”  
  
Mac stopped then. Either trying to maintain his composure or lost in thought, or both.  
  
“I turned eighteen halfway through my senior year of high school. I left the next day. A few months before, I realized I had fallen for my best friend. A guy. And the more I thought about it, the more I came to the realization that I was gay. But that’s not the kind of lifestyle my mom or grandpa would have wanted for me. I couldn’t stay there a live a lie.”  
  
When he paused, Alex asked a question. “But you’ve been away from home for years now. You’ve never felt you could explore your sexuality further?”  
  
Mac blew out a breath. “Did as much research online as I dared early on, but I just can’t shake the feeling that no matter what I do—no matter how I live my life—I’m letting them down.”  
  
Alex decided to leave that topic for a bit and ask a different question. “So is anyone looking for you?”  
  
“No,” Mac said, shaking his head. “I left a note for my mom. I didn’t explain everything, just said I didn’t want to disappoint them and decided leaving was best. It’s not some kind of missing person situation or anything.”  
  
“Okay.” Alex was at least relieved for that. Mac’s mom wasn’t left wondering why he’d gone missing, though he didn’t know if not knowing where he was living was any less painful for her.  
  
“I—I see you and Walter together, and I want what you have. The idea of hooking up just for sex has never really held any real appeal for me. I’ve never felt…comfortable enough with anyone to even really begin to explore any of that. I never really allowed myself to picture what my life would be like if I found the right guy, but when I see you and Walter, I want that. For the first time it seems like something real that I could have too.”  
  
Mac stopped for breath, and Alex couldn’t keep silent.  
  
“You can, you know. You deserve to live the kind of life you want. You deserve to be happy, and if that’s with another man, that’s okay.”  
  
Mac sat still, staring out in front of him. Alex saw a tear finally break free and track down his cheek.  
  
“Look,” Alex said softly. “You may not accept it yet, but you deserve to be free to find love like everyone else in the world. Think about it. Maybe try coming out to someone when you feel comfortable with the idea. And maybe, eventually, call your mom. You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to, but she would probably like to know you’re okay at the very least.”  
  
Mac was quiet for a moment.  
  
“Yeah, okay.”  
  
Alex stood and turned to go back inside. He was almost through the door when he heard Mac speak softly again.  
  
“Thanks, Alex.”  
  
He continued inside and distracted Walter from his guitar playing with a passionately hot kiss.  
  
“Come to bed?” Alex said when they broke apart.  
  
“Yes. Definitely.”  
  
Walter set the guitar aside, and Alex pulled him by the hand out of his chair and down the hallway to the room they shared.  
  
\-----  
  
Jack woke with a moan on his lips. He froze, worried his roommate might have heard. He turned to look toward the other twin bed in the room, sighing in relief to see it was empty. Mac must have gotten up already. The fact that Jack had slept through it was either testament to how much he let his guard down around the other man, or how brain meltingly hot his dream had been, or both.  
  
He grunted softly as he reached down to adjust his hard cock in his boxers. The dream had been perfect, if not for waking too soon. A lithe male body had been on top of him. They’d been rutting together, kissing and hands roaming. Then Jack had reached up and sank his fingers into shaggy blond hair, and he realized it was Mac. That revelation had his arousal spiking and that’s when he’d woken.  
  
He glanced toward the closed bedroom door. Mac could come back at any time. Fuck it, Jack was so close. It wouldn’t take him long anyway. He closed his eyes and reached into his boxers, hissing as his hand came in contact with his erection. He closed his hand around himself, almost to the point of too tight. It only took a few pulls before he was arching and wet warmth spilled over his fingers.  
  
He lay back breathing hard. He was screwed. Sharing a room with Angus fucking MacGyver had gotten under his skin. Smart little shit with a gorgeous body and a smile that made the world stop. Jack shook his head. Mac was so young and clearly working out his sexuality, though he hadn’t admitted as much to him yet. Jack was more than ten years older than he was, and not exactly the clean-cut, fresh-faced guy anyone brought home.  
  
He was nothing like Mac. Maybe that’s why he clearly wanted the younger man so bad. They didn’t have much in common, but they worked well together and had become good friends in a short time. They laughed and bickered like the best kind of old married couple. They were a good team. Jack huffed in frustration. He wouldn’t let himself get swept up in a fantasy he couldn’t have.  
  
He stood and wiped himself off quickly with the t-shirt he’d slept in, tossing it and his boxers in his dirty laundry pile to deal with later. Jack quickly slipped into jeans and a t-shirt and opened the door to find the coast clear. He padded down the hallway to the bathroom to grab a shower, ruthlessly shoving his thoughts on Mac aside in favor of thinking through the sheep hunt they were leaving for later that day.  
  
\-----  
  
The hunt had gone well. Both their clients had bagged rams, and they had started the hike back with Fox in a good mood from their success. Jack had stayed a bit longer with Mac to make sure their field dressing site was cleaned up. When the job was done about a half hour later, they left as well.  
  
Jack liked hiking with Mac. The weather had been unseasonably warm for their October hunt, and he was enjoying being out on the mountains. Mac alternatively rambled on about seemingly random facts or lapsed into observant silence. Neither was uncomfortable, and Jack just took it all in stride, adding his own commentary when it fit.  
  
After one of the times they were both silent for a bit, Mac spoke.  
  
“Jack, can I tell you something?”  
  
“Sure, kid. Shoot.”  
  
The pause that followed was longer than he expected, but Jack waited it out.  
  
Mac took a deep breath. “I’m gay.”  
  
Jack had been walking just ahead of him, and he stopped and looked back. Mac stopped a few feet from him.  
  
“Wow, ah. Thanks for telling me, I guess.”  
  
“Yeah, well you told us that time.” Jack turned and started walking again as he listened. “And Alex and Walter are pretty open, and everyone at the lodge seems to be pretty accepting, so I’m trying to tell a few people.”  
  
“Cool, Mac. I’m honored, man.”  
  
“Don’t feel too honored. You’re the third person I’ve told.”  
  
Jack laughed. “It’s okay. Still a big thing. So what prompted you to finally do it?”  
  
“Alex figured me out. Talked to me about it. Then I came out to Walter on my own to kind of test the waters. He’s been really great. We’ve had a lot of good conversations.”  
  
Mac was quiet for a beat.  
  
“And I’ve been thinking lately that I might be interested in a relationship.”  
  
“Oh, yeah? Talking about anyone specific there?”  
  
Jack didn’t know if Mac started to answer his question or not, because just then a large grizzly lumbered out of a copse of trees into their path a couple hundred feet ahead of them. They both froze. They had just gotten below treeline, and though they had been talking freely and making noise, the bear was clearly startled by their presence.  
  
“Shit,” Jack whispered.  
  
They stood still for a moment, waiting to see what the bear would decide to do. The bear shifted uneasily, and Jack slowly reached his hand behind to grab the pistol he kept within easy reach in a side pocket of his pack. He could see Mac in his peripheral vision trying to subtly get something out of his pack as well.

He and Mulder both carried pistols along with the hunting rifles. It was meant to be easy to access in an emergency like this. They never knew what kind of animal they would meet out in the bush. Mac never carried any guns. He usually had a couple knives on him and didn’t have a need for anything more in his role.

Jack slowly pulled the gun forward and checked it over.

“Shit, again. It's not loaded!” he whispered.

“Too late!” Mac hissed back.

They watched as the bear squared its shoulders and came charging toward them. Jack had enough experience to know that grizzlies would often bluff when they charged and feint off to the side at the last minute rather than attack. He really didn't want to find out if they were going to be the exception to that rule though.

“Mac?” He questioned. “Got any ideas?”

Mac was now fumbling with something in his hands, but they had seconds before the bear would close the distance between them. Jack watched as Mac bent down and grabbed a baseball-sized rock that was at the side of the trail. He stood and braced himself, pulling back the elastic cord from his backpack that he'd stretched between two metal tent stakes held open by his fingers and fist.

Mac took aim, and then the bear was so close Jack thought they were done, but with a thwack the rock hit the bear in the head. It stopped and stumbled a bit, dazed. Then the grizzly turned and ran off into the trees.

Jack let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He shook off the shock and grabbed Mac’s arm, pulling him down the trail at a jog. They had to clear the area in case the animal came back.

They went about a half mile before slowing to a walk, and then Jack finally stopped them.

“I think we put enough distance between us and that bear to be safe.”

They were both still breathless and full of adrenaline.

“Fuck, that was close! You've got balls, brother, and damn good aim!” Jack smiled as the relief made him giddy.

Mac grinned right back. “That was great!”

“You're crazy,” Jack said affectionately. Then the emotion of the moment caught up with him and he turned to face Mac, gripping him by the shoulders. “You saved my life.”

“It was nothing.”

“No, it was something.” Just then Jack noticed Mac was holding the fingers of one hand over the palm of the hand he'd held the slingshot with. “Are you hurt?”

Jack didn't hesitate to grab Mac’s hands and pull them apart to reveal two cuts where the metal tent stakes had dug into the fleshy palm of Mac’s hand as he held them.

"It's fine. Just stings a little.”

Jack just huffed and inspected the small cuts thoroughly. They weren't deep enough to need stitches, but they should try to keep them clean. He set down his pack and pulled out a miniature first aid kit. In a few minutes he had antibiotic ointment applied and bandages in place.

Mac just watched Jack work in silence. Jack didn't think much of it because he was too busy trying to keep himself from leaning forward just a few inches and kissing those full lips. He finished and looked up at Mac.

“All set.”

“Thanks.” Mac's voice was strangely subdued.

They turned without another word and continued hiking in silence. Jack was really screwed.


	8. Chapter 8

The bear story had been a big hit at dinner that night. When clients were staying at the lodge, everyone usually ate a large meal together. Mac told the story in perfect dramatic fashion and Walter watched as Jack smiled at the shaggy blond with affection and pride the entire time. Walter had been around long enough to recognize that look anywhere. The man was smitten. The question was, would he do anything about it?  
  
Walter had somehow become Mac’s big gay mentor in the last couple months. He figured maybe the kid needed someone who was more of a father figure who would be open and accepting. Although some of the detailed questions Mac had been asking went above and beyond the usual father-son, birds-and-bees talk. And hadn’t Alex had a good laugh at Walter’s expense over that. Mac approached things logically and resourcefully, and he soaked up any piece of advice Walter gave.  
  
After years on his own, it was clear Mac wanted attachment. He wanted to share life with someone. He wanted a family again. Walter hoped that one day they could convince him to get back in contact with his mother and grandfather because he and Alex knew what it was like to permanently lose the people in the world who meant the most.  
  
Mac had said he thought he was ready to try. Walter could see he was still working on being comfortable in his own skin, but he was also smart enough to recognize that. Besides, if Walter had anything to do with it, the man he would push Mac toward would be more than willing to be patient with him when needed.  
  
“Are you plotting again?” Alex startled Walter out of his thoughts, coming to sit at the otherwise empty kitchen table with him.  
  
Walter smiled with false innocence. “Plotting?”  
  
“Don’t give me that act, Walt. I know you’re working on a matchmaking scheme.” Alex leaned forward and stage whispered. “It’s okay. I want in.”  
  
Walter laughed, and stood to get them both coffee. It was mid-morning and the clients from the previous day’s hunt had left not long ago. He brought two steaming mugs back to the table and moved to sit in the seat kitty-corner to Alex, so he could tangle their feet together under the table.  
  
“So you noticed it too?”  
  
Alex took a sip before replying. “That Jack has it bad for our very own bear tamer? Yeah.”  
  
Walter snorted. “I think they’d be good for each other. Mac needs someone who won’t push him in the relationship, but who will keep up with him in the rest of his life. Jack needs someone who will give him a challenge and keep things interesting. He’s got that post-military restlessness going on.”  
  
“Plus they would be as equally adorable together as they would be hot,” Alex replied with a straight face.  
  
Walter kicked him lightly under the table.  
  
Alex just grinned back at him over his mug. “You know it’s true.”  
  
“You’re a menace, Sasha.”  
  
“He can’t be that bad if you’re undressing him with your eyes, Walter.” Jack strode into the room and headed straight for the coffee maker. “I’d tell you to get a room, but watching you both be sappy and romantic is my new guilty pleasure since we don’t get Hallmark movies out here.”  
  
“Ha! I knew the tough ex-military thing was all an act,” Alex shot back, laughing.  
  
Walter sat back, enjoying the banter. He was glad the guys they’d hired fit in so well. It was already a small tight-knit operation when he offered to join, so the wrong person would have really brought the dynamic down.  
  
Jack poured his coffee and moved to lean back against the counter before taking the first sip.  
  
“So why is Alex a menace?”  
  
“Just something he said,” Walter replied, “about you actually.”  
  
Jack furrowed his brow. “Well, that doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“It's not so awful. Just us speculating about you and a certain guy with hair that won't quit.” Alex smirked at Jack as he spoke.

Jack ran a hand over his face. “Shit, have I been that obvious?”

“Not really. We were just paying attention.”

“Nosy. You mean we're nosy,” Walter said with a smile.

Alex asked the question both he and Walter had been thinking.

“So, you going to make a move?”

“No way, man. I'll do better at keeping this under wraps from now on. I'll get over it eventually.”

Walter frowned slightly. “Just to be clear, Jack, we don't think it would be a bad thing if you and Mac took a shot at something together.”

“Oh. I thought—well, it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to do anything.”

“And why the hell not?” Walter practically growled.

Jack scoffed. “He's a child, and he's new to the scene.”

“Okay, I love that you think the fact that half the people on the property are gay makes this a ‘scene’.” Alex used air quotes as he spoke. “But that's a little harsh. He’s smart and has a sense of humor, and you guys seem to get along really well. Plus his jawline looks like it was sculpted out of marble.”

That earned a chuckle out of Walter, and Jack’s face took on a thoughtful expression, but he shook it off after a few seconds.

“He’s still really damn young and inexperienced, and I’m definitely not.”  
  
“Mac’s strong too. He just saved your life out there,” Alex persisted.  
  
Jack shook his head. “Let it go, man. I’m not the kind of guy he’d go for anyway.”  
  
He turned to place his mug in the sink but froze at the voice they all heard next.  
  
“And what kind of guy would that be?” Mac’s voice carried through the silence. “Someone who’s fun and smart and sexy as hell?”  
  
He had been stalking across the kitchen toward Jack as he spoke, and then stopped just a couple feet away from the stiffly held shoulders.  
  
“Or how about someone I enjoy spending time with? Someone I get into and out of crazy shit with?”  
  
Jack finally turned to face the younger man. Walter was starting to feel like they were intruding, watching this unfold, but he didn’t want to leave now and stop these two before they got on the same page. Mac finally stepped up right into Jack’s space, and Walter swore he could see a blush staining his rugged cheekbones.  
  
“How about someone I trust?”  
  
“Mac, I—”  
  
“No, listen. I like you. I really like you, and I’d love to be with you, if that’s something you’re interested in. I’m guessing that’s what you all were not so quietly arguing about before I heard enough to come speak for myself.” Mac raised his eyebrows expectantly, and Jack nodded to acknowledge the truth of the assessment.  
  
“Okay then.” And with that, Mack moved a hand to hold Jack’s head in place and planted a confident kiss on his lips. Jack froze momentarily, but then Walter watched him sort of melt into it before pulling back abruptly a few seconds later.  
  
“What? Wait! Not ‘okay then’!” Jack grabbed Mac’s shoulders and held him back, frowning. “You don’t just get to come in here and kiss me and that’s that. No. We’re doing this right. I’m going to take you on dates. Real dates. Like to dinner and the movies and shit.”  
  
Mac just grinned wide. “Okay.”  
  
Jack huffed. “Yeah. Right. Good. Starting tonight. I’m taking you to dinner in town. Be ready.”  
  
“Sounds good, Jack,” Mac said casually before grabbing the front of Jack’s shirt to pull him in for one more kiss. He let him go just as abruptly and turned and left the room.  
  
They all heard the back door to the lodge open and close a few seconds later. Walter figured Mac went out to get started on cleaning the camping equipment from the hunt. The abrupt silence after Mac’s departure was broken by Alex starting a slow clap. Walter couldn’t keep from laughing lightly.  
  
“Wow. That was some quality entertainment right there. Thanks, Jack,” Alex spoke, smiling.  
  
“Shut up,” Jack grumbled.  
  
Jack stomped out, but Walter figured he probably wasn’t really all that upset. Alex joined him in laughter. Leave it to Mac to find a way to get the job done before any of them.

\-----

The last couple weeks of the autumn season went well. The clients all left happy, and they’d bagged better animals than last year. Alex had gotten a lot of amusement out of watching Jack and Mac work out whatever was starting between them.  
  
They’d managed a couple dates so far, and pretty much everyone, including William, had caught them kissing while they were supposed to be working. No one minded, though, because the chores still got done. Alex was curious to see what they decided to do over the winter months.

Thinking of the coming winter gave Alex a pang of sadness. He had come a long way in rehabbing his arm. His left hand had good flexibility even though it was still weaker, and his general range of motion was improving. He was self-sufficient at that point, for which he was extremely grateful. They didn't have much work to do around the lodge in winter either.

The question lay in what was ahead for him and Walter now. They loved each other and had exchanged some vague statements about being a part of each other's lives, but that was in the midst of a situation that was traumatic and emotional. Would Walter really still want him in his life now that their dynamic was changing again?

With no more pressing needs, Alex knew Walter would want to head home for the next couple of months. The problem was that he didn't know if Walter wanted him to be a part of his normal life now. The thought of not spending every night sleeping next to the man made him ache like a part of him was gone. They'd most likely get together for a day or two here and there, but it wouldn't be the same as what they’d had the past few months.

Alex didn't question Walter’s love for him, but the fact remained that he had sought solitude for a reason. His reasons behind that may have changed somewhat, but it was clear to Alex that it was part of who he was in a fundamental way. Many evenings at the lodge, he'd retreated to their room or outside when he wanted some time away from others. He never turned Alex away when he joined him, but Alex gave him his space most of the time anyway.

Today Walter had gone to his house to prepare it for being habitable again. He’d taken a few of his things with him as well. They hadn’t really talked concretely about it, but Alex knew he was planning to move back there sometime in the next few days. He’d been trying not to actively mope, but leave it to Fox to notice his little pity party anyway. He cornered Alex while he was listlessly sweeping out one of the guest rooms.  
  
“What’s up, man? You’ve been down all day.”  
  
Alex sighed. He didn’t really want to admit to self-pity, but he knew Fox would pick until he unearthed it anyway. It was best just to confess now.  
  
“I’m going to miss him.”  
  
Mulder furrowed his brow. “Miss who?”  
  
Alex looked at him like it should have been obvious. “Walter.”  
  
“Wow. You both are horrible at this.”  
  
“At what?” Now it was Alex’s turn to be confused.  
  
“At communicating like normal people!” Fox tossed up his hands in frustration. “Walter already suggested I offer the big bedroom at the lodge to Jack for the winter. I’m presuming that’s because he was planning on taking you with him when he took his guitar and the rest of his shit home for the winter.”  
  
Alex just stood there with his mouth open, feeling foolish.  
  
“How did you not think that’s what he wanted? You’ve been living together here for months.”  
  
“I guess I just thought he would have talked about it before now if that’s what he intended.”  
  
Fox sighed and smiled ruefully. “Seriously, you guys are the worst.”  
  
“Yeah, we sort of are,” Alex said, chuckling.  
  
Just then, they both heard the back door open and close, and Walter’s distinctive footsteps came down the hall toward them.  
  
“Hey—” Walter was interrupted by Fox glaring and pointing a finger at his chest.  
  
“You need to talk to your boyfriend. Now would be good. I don’t need any more of this. I’m married, remember? I have my own relationship to maintain.”  
  
Walter appeared caught off guard and a bit confused, but Fox plowed forward.  
  
“Seriously. Talk like actual adults. I thought you learned this lesson already.”  
  
Fox sidestepped Walter on his way out, leaving Alex to face the man alone.  
  
“What was that about?” Walter asked.  
  
Alex set his broom aside and closed the distance between them until he was standing right in front of the man, breathing in his scent.  
  
“Did you tell Fox you think Jack should take the big bedroom for the winter?”  
  
“Yeah. I thought it was a good idea in case he and Mac didn’t want to keep living in the same room in those twin beds.” Walter still looked confused.  
  
Alex smiled sheepishly. “I thought you’d want to get back to having your place to yourself.”  
  
Walter’s expression changed as he understood. “I love you Sasha, but you’re an idiot.”  
  
Walter was smiling at him indulgently as he spoke.  
  
“Mulder very recently pointed that out to me. You never said what you wanted to do after my arm was healed. I wanted to give you the option of having your space.”  
  
Walter brought his hands to Alex’s hips and pulled him close.  
  
“Maybe you don’t remember this, because it was the first time you’d woken in the hospital, but I said I wanted to be part of your life. That means you’re part of mine too. It was never contingent on your injury or the business or any other set of circumstances. I love you.”

Alex was a little stunned by the depth of feeling in Walter's words. His voice was rough with emotion when he answered back.

“I love you too, Walter.”

Walter leaned in slowly then, watching Alex as he moved. An intimate, searching gaze. Then lips met in a heartfelt kiss full of the love and commitment they had for each other. They stood in the doorway of the room, unaware of whatever time might be passing as they kissed.

“Aw, come on! I came over here because Mom and Dad were being all mushy and gross at our house, and now you guys are too!”

Alex and Walter broke apart startled, and then they both were laughing. William was never afraid to speak his mind. Alex didn't mind the interruption though. After all, he wouldn't be seeing the kid as often for the next couple months.

“Sorry, kiddo. Hey, you want to hang out here for a while? I think we have ingredients for pizza, and we can play checkers or something,” Walter offered.

“Yeah! Only we should play Monopoly,” William fist pumped the air as he ran off.

Alex just smiled and followed Walter to the kitchen.

\-----

Walter brought the last bag into the bedroom and set it down. He smiled and let out a little satisfied sigh to see Alex unpacking his things into the closet. He didn’t have much, mostly clothes and some hunting gear. Alex had left everything behind when they had escaped New York except for a couple photos stuffed hastily together with his passport and a couple other important documents. Walter hoped now that they were making a home together, Alex would feel comfortable collecting the random detritus of life again.

Walter cast off his rumination and walked over to where Alex was working hanging up some shirts.

“Come on. That can wait. I've been looking forward to spending the evening in front of the fire with you all day.”

Alex turned and stepped in close, and Walter pulled him into a loose embrace.  
  
“We do that almost every night at the lodge,” Alex replied with a fondly exasperated smile.  
  
“Yes, but tonight I want to sit with you in front of the fire in our house. No one else in the room. No one else in the next room. No one else in the house next door.”  
  
Alex laughed lightly. “I see where this is going. You know you don’t have to sweet talk me anymore. I think it’s been well established that I’m gone on you.”  
  
“Doesn’t mean I don’t still want to seduce you. Come on. I have the fire stoked and drinks poured.”  
  
He grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled him out to the living room, settling him on the couch and handing him his drink. Walter sat next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders. They leaned into each other and sipped from their glasses. The alcohol warmed them as much as the fire, and they relaxed in the peacefulness of it all.  
  
Finally, Walter broke the silence.  
  
“Welcome home, Sasha.”  
  
Alex turned to look at Walter, and gave him a sincere smile.  
  
“Thank you.” He practically breathed out as he closed the distance between their mouths and they kissed fervently.

Walter didn't hesitate to start skimming his hand under Alex's shirt as they made out. They knew each other well by now, but this always felt just as incredible as the first time. He loved that Alex allowed him close, allowed Walter to see parts of him no one else did.

They paused briefly to remove each other's shirts, but then Walter pulled Alex back to lick inside his mouth. His tongue caressed the other man's in a familiar rhythm. He didn't linger there long before the temptation of Alex’s skin was too much, and he began kissing down his jaw and neck.

The younger man let his head fall back and leaned back against the couch as he shuddered through a sigh. Walter loved how Alex always allowed him to take his fill of everything his body had to offer. He was a tactile man in certain ways, and he couldn't get enough of touching and tasting this man's skin.

Walter sucked a possessive bruise onto Alex’s collar bone, loving the groan it elicited. The sound made him impatient, and he licked and nipped his way down to Alex's waistband quickly. He paused, moving off the couch to kneel between the lean legs.

Walter moved his hands to undo the fly of Alex's jeans. Alex remained with his head tilted back, eyes closed, but body pliant. He only moved for Walter when hands tugging on the fabric encouraged him to lift his hips as it was pulled down and off. Once Alex was naked, Walter stood to remove his own pants and then knelt once again in front of the beautiful man.

Alex opened his eyes and looked down at him then. Arousal surged between them, sparked by the tableau they presented. Walter gave Alex a filthy smirk as he lowered his head toward the hard cock straining upward. Then he steadily enveloped Alex's cock in his mouth until it touched the back of his throat.

Alex let out a low breathy moan, and Walter stopped where he was to let the brunette shudder through the sensations. Then, Walter slowly drew back, tongue leading lips up the shaft. The musky smell and weight of Alex’s heavy cock in his mouth felt amazing. He started a slow rhythm.

Alex was relaxed and open to him, and Walter loved the small sounds he was allowing to escape from between plump lips. They'd always tried to be courteous to others at the lodge, but here they were alone, and it was clear they both were enjoying that fact. He felt Alex shift under him, and soon the dexterous fingers of his right hand were massaging Walter's head. Not directing, but light caresses and pressure of fingertips in random pattern as the man above him fell apart by degrees.

Walter was hard and leaking himself, the surrender of the man before him as much a turn on as anything. He briefly thought about touching himself but decided he wanted to focus all his energies on Alex. Forcing himself to wait would make it all the sweeter.

Walter switched gears then from the comfortable rhythm he'd established. He relaxed his throat further and let the head of Alex’s cock slip back on every stroke. He undulated his tongue as he swallowed around him, pulling a shout from the other man.

"Oh god, Walter!”

Walter smirked around the throbbing shaft. It only took a few more strokes of his tongue, and Alex was pulsing down his throat. His fingers pressed tight to Walter's scalp, and he keened lowly as he rode through his orgasm. Alex waited only a moment before grabbing Walter's arm and hauling him up for a kiss, licking the drops of his own come that had spilled out the corner of his mouth.

Alex kept pulling and maneuvering until Walter was seated straddling his lap. He kept Walter's mouth busy with a passionate kiss so that when his hand wrapped around the still-aching shaft, Walter cried his surprise and pleasure into his mouth. It only took a few rough strokes before Walter's gut tightened, and he was painting Alex's hand and their stomachs with his release.

Walter slumped forward, laying his head on Alex’s shoulder. They sat there just enjoying the aftershocks for a few moments. Walter moved first and stepped away to grab a towel to clean them up.

Once the task was done, he pushed a boneless Alex back to lie across the cushions. He moved to lie down and shifted them until he was spooning Alex as they lay facing the fire. He pulled a large soft comforter over their naked bodies. Walter lay for a while drifting on the sensations of warm skin pressed along his and the cocoon of the blanket warmed by the fire. He fell asleep to the rhythm of Alex’s slow breaths, feeling fully content.

\-----

“Hey.”

Jack’s voice startled Mac, and he fumbled the screwdriver he'd been using.

“Sorry.”

“It's okay,” Mac smiled up at him from where he was seated on a stool in front of the workbench in the shed.

Jack had come out to find him after the quiet of the now otherwise empty lodge had grown to be too much.

“Quiet inside getting to you?”

And that right there was why Jack was falling so hard for the man before him. Mac paid attention to the things and people around him, and he could read Jack like an open book most of the time. Jack wasn't what he would call emotionally constipated, but he liked that with Mac he didn't have to explain himself all the time.

“Yeah, I guess. You get used to living with other people and a certain amount of background activity in the service. Weirdest thing so far about being out is how easy it is to find quiet.”

Mac hummed an acknowledgement as he returned his focus to his work. Jack watched him tinker in silence for a moment.

“Seems like you chose to settle in a place where solitude is easy to find,” Mac said casually, belying the opening he was giving Jack for more serious discussion. It wasn't all that complicated though.

“Eh, the idea sounded good. A place I'd never been, lots of outdoor recreation available, figured I could find some work to keep busy.”

Jack paused and pulled out another stool to sit down next to Mac.

“Trying to switch careers after the military and at my age was harder than I expected. Well, until I stumbled on this job and you. Now I’m actually feeling pretty damn good about the whole thing.”  
  
Mac looked up and flashed him one of his blinding smiles, then bent his head back to his work. They lapsed into silence once again.  
  
“What are you doing, anyway?” Jack asked.  
  
“Working on building Will an RC car for Christmas.”  
  
“That doesn’t look like your usual little remote control car, Mac.” What looked to be the chassis of a small ATV were up on the workbench in front of them.  
  
“Well, yeah. I wanted it to be practical too. It’s going to be sort of like a small four-wheeler without room for a passenger. It will be able handle the terrain around the yard, since we don’t have a lot of smooth pavement nearby. It could haul stuff too. I’ll put a flatbed on it that can hold some firewood or something. Don’t worry, it'll still be fast. Wouldn't be any real fun if it didn't go fast.”  
  
Jack chuckled. William was going to get spoiled this Christmas between all his new uncles. Jack continued looking over the contents littering the length of the workbench.  
  
“Is that a rechargeable battery?” he asked, pointing to a pile of electronics further down.  
  
“Yep. Made it myself. Didn’t want the kid to have to gas the thing up, but I needed more power behind the engine than your typical toy RC car.”  
  
Jack leaned in and grabbed the back of Mac’s neck, kissing his temple. “You’re incredible, you know that?”  
  
Mac blushed, but didn’t turn from his work. Jack figured he hadn’t had a lot of compliments like that in recent years, if ever, and he loved showering them on the man. He definitely earned them.  
  
He watched Mac work in silence a bit longer, just enjoying the companionship. That was a surprising thing he’d discovered in their growing relationship. They had always been comfortable in each other’s space, no matter the context.  
  
Jack let his thoughts wander as he watched. He and Mac had been trying to talk to each other about their respective pasts more openly as they got closer. Learning about how Mac had left his family had been a surprise to Jack. He didn’t really have family anymore. There were a few extended cousins and aunts and uncles that he had never seen much of, but his parents were gone.  
  
He’d been an only child born to his parents a little later in life than most. They’d both had careers and didn’t rush into parenthood, but a few years earlier, they had both died mere months apart. Jack didn’t really have family ties as a result. Maybe that’s why Mac’s situation with his mom and grandfather bothered him.

Once again, as if reading his thoughts, Mac spoke into the quiet warmth of the shed.

“I'm thinking maybe it's time I called my mom.”  
  
“I don't want to presume to tell you what to do in regards to your family, but I know what it’s like to see families devastated by a lost son or husband. Just knowing you’re okay will mean a lot to her. If it turns out she’s not accepting of you as you are, then at least you’ll know.”  
  
Mac worked in silence a couple more minutes.  
  
“Is that what you’re afraid of? Her rejecting you because you’re gay?”  
  
Mac looked up then, and Jack could see a number of emotions play across his handsome face. Worry, longing, guilt.  
  
“That’s the funny thing. Over the past few years I’ve come to accept myself, and I’m not really worried about what anyone else thinks. If they accept me too, that’s great. If not, I have other people in my life now who do.” Mac stopped and ran his hand through his hair. Jack followed the movement and was lost for a moment, thinking about how soft those strands were to the touch.  
  
“At this point, it’s been so long that I just feel guilty,” Mac continued. “I have grown up a lot since the day I left, and now I feel like it’s been so long that I can’t go back.”  
  
“I have to think that no amount of time would make your mom want to hear from you any less.”

"Yeah, maybe." Mac lapsed into silence once more, and Jack figured he wanted to drop the subject.

He watched Mac work for a while again. Jack stretched out his legs to bask in the dry heat of the wood stove crackling pleasantly in the corner of the shed, and enjoyed the stretch of Mac’s shirt across his lean but muscular shoulders as he occasionally reached for tools.

Finally, Jack couldn’t just look anymore. He had to touch. He stood and stepped slowly to stand behind Mac who was still seated on a stool, gently starting a massage on his shoulders. It didn’t take long before he tired of that, and leaned in to brush Mac’s hair aside and kiss a line down his neck. Mac shivered under his lips, and Jack groaned in approval.  
  
Jack had been stunned when Mac had readily admitted on their first date that he was still a virgin in every way, having only recently really come to terms with his sexuality. At first he was surprised that someone so gorgeous hadn’t had the opportunity, but then understood when Mac explained his desire for a real relationship. The younger man had been pretty nomadic since he left home, and that didn’t really leave time for relationships.  
  
They continued to share the same room at the lodge, so it wasn’t surprising that after their first date, they ended up sleeping in the same bed curled around each other after talking late into the night. They didn't feel a need to follow any fictitious set of rules when it came to dating. Jack wanted to do right by Mac. Get to know him and spoil him without pushing, letting Mac go at his own pace. He realized pretty quickly that, like everything else in life, Mac went all in when he was sure of what he wanted. They'd been steadily exploring the physical side of their relationship, and Jack was perfectly okay with coming along for the ride.

"Come to bed?" Jack said between kisses.

Mac drew in breath. “Yeah. Um. Yeah, that sounds good.”

He dropped his tools and stood to turn into Jack’s arms. Jack chuckled.

“I finally distract you enough?”

Mac answered by leaning in to kiss Jack. Passionate in this as he was in everything, Jack opened to him and gave back as good as he got. By the time they paused for breath, Jack couldn’t wait any longer. He needed Mac now. He gracefully sank to his knees and looked up at Mac, raising an eyebrow in question.  
  
“God, Jack. Please.” Mac got the words out in a strained, rough voice.  
  
He took a step back to lean his hips on the workbench behind them. Jack placed calloused hands on Mac’s strong, jean-clad thighs and slowly stroked up his legs. He looked down long enough to get his hands on the button and zipper, but looked up through his lashes once again as he slowly pulled Mac’s zipper down.

Jack kept eye contact with Mac as he pulled his cock free of his boxers. They'd gotten this far before—touching, but Jack wanted so badly to taste. Mac might be exploring all this for the first time, but he wasn't shy or nervous about it. He jumped in with both feet, learning and adapting as he went. Mac was extremely sensitive though, and it turned Jack on like no one had before to give him those new and overwhelming sensations.

Jack watched Mac’s eyes follow his tongue as he licked his lips and then bent to pull the head of Mac’s swollen cock into his mouth. Mac’s breath caught and released on a surprised moan. Jack used the moment of surprise to take Mac in as far as the back of his throat, bringing a few fingers up to put gentle pressure on the base to help Mac stave off orgasm as his dick jumped and throbbed in Jack’s mouth.

Jack paused a moment there, but couldn't wait long. He pulled his hand away and opened his throat as he took Mac down to the root.

“Ah, Jack!” Mac said huskily above him.

Jack could feel Mac’s thighs begin to tremble as he pulled back slightly and then swallowed him down again, working his throat to pull another long moan from the younger man. Jack loved doing this for Mac. He loved the scent and taste and weight of him on his tongue, and he loved the uninhibited responses it drew from him.

He suddenly didn't want to draw this out anymore, and began a rhythm of pulling back then swallowing as he took Mac back into his throat. It only took a few cycles before he felt Mac’s cock grow harder with impending release. Jack quickly grabbed Mac’s hips to hold him in place, lest he try to do something stupidly polite like pull out before coming. Jack wanted to swallow it all down, and taste the fruit of his efforts.

Mac arched and shouted a couple of nonsense syllables as Jack felt him begin to pulse down his throat. He kept is tongue moving gently until he knew Mac was finished, then he slowly pulled back, smiling up at Mac’s blissed out expression.

“Fuck, Jack,” Mac finally said through panted breaths.

Jack stood. “That's all you have to say? You know, sometimes I put you on a pedestal because you're a damn genius at everything you do, and then I make you come your brains out and my image of you is brought crashing back to reality.”

Mac opened his eyes and Jack couldn't erase the smug smirk from his face.

“Fuck you, Jack.”

“See what I mean?” Jack replied, chuckling.

Mac pulled him in for a sloppy kiss, then surprised Jack by gripping the back of his neck and stroking up his hard cock still trapped in his jeans. Mac moved his mouth next to Jack’s ear and kept stroking him through his pants as he began to talk.

“You think an orgasm makes me stupid, Jack? Well, now you're fucked because you clearly underestimated me,” Mac said in a low voice as he continued touching Jack relentlessly, fingers caressing the head trapped under fabric every few strokes. “I know what this does to you. Touching me. Tasting me. Making me come in ways no one ever has.”

Jack was out of breath now, and his mind was reeling from the effort of trying to hear the words Mac was saying and maintain control over his body’s reaction.

“Doing this turns you on,” Mac continued. “You love giving me this pleasure.”

A damp spot was forming on his jeans now where he was leaking precome under Mac's assault. Jack was lost to the seduction of Mac’s voice in his ear.

“I bet you think about this all the time. Plan out what we’ll do next. What you'll introduce me to. I bet you're going to come in your pants right now just thinking about it. Big bad Jack Dalton is going to come in his pants like a horny teenager thinking about how badly he wants me to fuck him.”

Jack let out a surprised grunt then. Hanging on to his control by a thread.

"You want my cock inside you, don't you, Jack? I've never been inside anyone before.”

Jack shuddered at the words. He didn't think he'd ever been so turned on. He hadn't really thought about getting that far with Mac yet, but suddenly it was something he needed like breathing.

“Please,” he said breathlessly.

“Yeah. I'll sink deep inside you, and you'll feel so amazing around me. You're going to be so hot and tight that I won't be able to last.”

Jack was so caught up in the image Mac was painting, he didn't realize how close he was until he was moaning softly with each breath and thrusting into Mac’s hand erratically.

“Please, Mac.”

“Come on, Jack.”

It only took a couple more strokes of those clever fingers over denim, and then Jack was coming hard in his pants. He was so turned on he didn't have room to be embarrassed. Mac already really did it for him, and the dirty talk had been a pleasant surprise. Jack stood on shakes legs, head tucked into Mac’s neck, as he recovered.

“Well, shit,” Jack panted.

Mac just laughed lowly. “Turnabout is fair play.”

Jack finally brought his head up and kissed Mac sweetly. When they parted, Jack smiled.

“I can't believe I came in my pants. I take back what I said earlier. You're not a genius. You're an evil genius, and anytime you want to fuck me, I'm totally on board with that.”

Mac just laughed. “Come on. Let's go get cleaned up. You can cook me dinner.”

They got themselves sorted as much as was necessary to walk across the yard to the lodge. Mac smirked the whole way at Jack holding his jacket in front of the wet spot on his jeans. Once in the lodge, they went their separate ways; Jack to change and Mac to start a fire in the great room.

After cleaning up, Jack went to kitchen to start fixing them a meal. He worked in silence, slicing up vegetables for a hearty winter soup. He heard Mac’s muffled voice in the other room and moved to stick his head out of the kitchen to find out who he was talking to. Jack could see Mac hunched over on the couch, phone pressed to his ear.  
  
“Yeah, it’s really me. Sorry it took me so long to get the courage to call,” Mac said quietly into the phone.  
  
His mom then, Jack guessed. He wasn’t really all that surprised. Once Mac got an idea in his head, he didn’t let it go until he had really explored it. It was fun when it came to sex, but Jack was less enthusiastic about the times it meant plowing through the hard stuff. Couldn’t Mac just procrastinate dealing with difficult crap like everyone else?  
  
Jack went back into the kitchen, figuring Mac would want some privacy. The indistinct conversation in the other room was the background noise to his cooking. He had just finished adding ingredients to the soup and setting it to simmer on the stove when he heard a small crash from the other room. Jack jogged the few steps into the great room to see Mac’s phone on the floor. It was cracked, most likely from being thrown into the wall. Mac was sitting slumped forward on the couch, looking more defeated than Jack had ever seen.  
  
Jack didn’t have to wonder how the conversation had gone. It was pretty evident. He moved quietly to sit next to Mac, and laid a had gently on his back. He didn’t speak. Jack figured it was better just to offer comfort and let Mac talk when he was ready. They sat in silence for several minutes before Mac finally spoke.  
  
“She said she learned to live without me in her life a long time ago, and she didn’t feel like she needed to change that now.”  
  
Jack brought his hand up to squeeze Mac’s shoulder in sympathy.  
  
“I told her why I left. She doesn’t agree with my so-called lifestyle. Maybe if I had stayed and tried to come out to her then, she could have come around to it. As it is, she thinks me being gay is just part of the rebellion that made me run in the first place.” Mac sighed. “I shouldn’t have left that way. I shouldn’t have stayed away so long.”  
  
“You were young then. Maybe you would have made different decisions at a different time in your life, but you can’t change that now. Playing the ‘what if’ game doesn’t do you any good,” Jack said gently.  
  
Another few moments of silence stretched between them.  
  
“She say anything else?”  
  
“I asked about Grandpa. He’s living with her now. His knees aren’t so great anymore, and she didn’t want him living alone.” Mac paused, and then spoke almost in a whisper. “She didn’t want me to talk to him. Thought it would be too upsetting.”  
  
Jack couldn’t stand the look of absolute dejection on Mac’s face, and he seethed with anger at a mother who would do that to her son.

“If that’s how she really feels, then she doesn’t deserve you as her son,” Jack said roughly.  
  
Mac laughed bitterly. “But I ran out on them! What kind of son does that?”  
  
“Maybe a son who is confused and scared. Maybe it was better to run and not really know if they would have accepted you than stay and face that kind of pain. Maybe deep down, you knew some version of this would have happened. At least now you’re stronger. You know who you are. You know there’s nothing wrong with you, and you have people in your life that accept you.”  
  
Mac didn’t respond. He just sat and stared at his hands.  
  
“You have me. For as long as you want me, I’m here.” Jack sighed and ran a hand over his hair. This wasn’t the romantic timing he’d been imagining to say this, but he figured maybe Mac needed to hear the words that had been pressing at him for the last couple weeks. “I love you, Mac. I love you so much.”  
  
Mac looked up at Jack then, a thread of hope weaving its way through his features. He leaned up and kissed Jack hard. Jack felt the emotion in the kiss and returned it in equal measure. Mac pulled back and looked into Jack’s eyes.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
Jack pulled Mac into a tight hug. Good or bad, he couldn’t regret the journey that had brought them together. They’d be each other’s family, and they’d be okay. Better than okay, they’d be happy.

\-----

They both heard the snow cracking under tires coming up the driveway as they were cleaning up the kitchen after supper. Alex moved to look out the front window, wiping his hands on a dish towel as he did.  
  
“It’s Fox,” he said in a curious tone.  
  
“Huh. Wonder why he decided to make the drive up here. We’ll see them for Christmas next week.” Walter walked over to Alex as he spoke, taking the towel and heading back to the kitchen so Alex could get the door.  
  
Alex heard Walter starting a fresh pot of coffee as he watched Fox walk alone to the front door. He opened the door to let the man in from the cold, closing out the winter air again as quickly as possible. Fox rubbed his hands together in the heat of the house, and hung his coat on the stand near the door.  
  
“Hey, Fox. What brings you out here?”  
  
“Hey, man.” Fox nodded in greeting to the other man leaning against the counter in the kitchen. “Walter.”  
  
Walter nodded in response, and turned to pull mugs out from the cupboard. Alex led the way to the kitchen table and they both sat, joined by Walter carrying steaming mugs a few moments later. Fox wrapped his hands around his mug, chasing away the last of the chill from outside. Alex waited long enough for him to take his first sip before his curiosity got the better of him.  
  
“I’m guessing there’s a reason for this impromptu visit?”  
  
Fox sighed, looking a bit hesitant. “Wanted to give you guys the heads up on a couple things.” He paused before continuing. “Dana’s sister is coming for Christmas.”  
  
“What? What the hell, Fox?” Alex was taken aback at first, but it quickly turned to anger. “You can’t be that reckless! After everything we went through to keep your family safe, you’re throwing that away?!”  
  
Walter placed a steady hand on Alex’s forearm. “Hear him out, Sasha. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to make a move like this without understanding the consequences.”  
  
Fox held up his hands in a placating gesture. “He’s right. Dana got back in touch with her sister two days ago. It was after we found out your father is dead.”  
  
Alex sat back in his chair hard, breath leaving him in a huff.  
  
“I set up a contact at NYPD. Something secure. We were very careful. We only communicated by email until now. He talked to Dana’s family after we left. Gave them a story about witness protection. We didn’t want them digging around to find out what happened.” Fox stopped to take another sip of coffee before continuing. “He got in touch with me a few days ago. Said your father was reported dead, and they took the case. It looks like a hit from outside.”  
  
“Wow. Okay,” Alex said, still in a bit of a shocked state at the news. When they left New York he expected his father to live out his natural life. Knowing he was gone had lifted a weight he had gotten so accustomed to he hadn't even realized it was there. The thought that his father might actually get motivated to search for Alex and hurt him or Mulder had been a shadow over their new life.  
  
“My guy says that in the chaos, it seems like the old guard is out in the family, and the younger generation is reestablishing power. He thinks that clears us of danger of retribution. It’s why Dana got in touch with her family again. It’s over, Alex.”  
  
He felt restless as the emotions those words evoked washed over him. Alex stood and went to the front window, not really seeing anything but needing a little space. He heard Walter and Fox murmuring behind him, then the scrape of the chair on the floor as Fox stood. Alex heard him approach but was too numb now to move.  
  
“Dana’s sister flies into Anchorage in a couple days. We still want to do Christmas together, so those plans haven’t changed.”  
  
That brought Alex out of his stupor, and he turned to look at Fox as he spoke. “What? No. You guys should have time with your family.”  
  
Fox just slapped Alex on the back with a smile and started toward the coat hanger. “Dumbass. You two are family too.”  
  
Alex felt Walter come to stand beside him and snake an arm around his waist. “We’ll be there.”  
  
“Great! See you in a few.” Fox grinned as he shrugged into his coat and stepped back out into the cold, leaving the house in silence behind him.  
  
After a few moments, Alex couldn’t help but give in to the emotion. He turned and curled into Walter’s ready embrace and just breathed in the comfort of the other man’s presence.

“Fuck. It’s really over,” Alex said, breath rushing out in relief.  
  
Walter just rubbed his hand up and down Alex’s back as he took time to process the news.  
  
“What now?”  
  
Alex was surprised when Walter started laughing. He looked at him incredulously.  
  
“What now?” Walter said, still smiling. “We live our lives however the hell we want to, and I’m telling you right now, that I want to live my life with you, Sasha.”  
  
A sense of peace washed over Alex at those words. The lingering fears of the past were gone, and he was free to spend his life with the man he loved.  
  
“I’d like that.”  
  
Alex pulled Walter into a passionate kiss. They went to bed that night and came together with soft touches and tender kisses, and Alex had never felt so unburdened in his life.  
  
\-----  
  
Christmas wasn’t without its awkward moments. They all gathered at the lodge. Dana’s sister, Melissa, was skeptical of Alex at first. Fox and Dana had told her the details of their reason for leaving New York. Alex didn’t blame them. He figured Melissa deserved the truth after losing her sister and nephew for years. Seeing how much William loved his Uncle Alex went a long way toward gaining her trust though.  
  
Mac and Jack were fairly ridiculous, both in their spoiling of William with gifts and their constant need to be touching each other. Although, Alex couldn’t really blame them. He and Walter were no better on either front. Fox and Dana just seemed happy to have everyone together and have their family back.  
  
Later in the evening, Alex sat in one of the large chairs near the fire watching Will try to steer Mac’s vehicle creation around the room. Walter sat on the floor, leaning back against his legs, and gave tips to William now and then. The other adults were scattered between the dining area and kitchen, cleaning up the remains of their meal.  
  
Walter turned his head and looked up at Alex. “Love you, Sasha.”  
  
“Love you too.” Alex couldn’t stop his face from splitting into a wide smile.  
  
Alex thought back to over a year ago when he had met this amazing man seated before him. That early fall storm in the mountains had brought him to Walter’s doorstep. When those autumn storms moved through and left behind a dusting of white on the mountains, the locals called it termination dust. They said it signaled the end of summer and the beginning of the long, cold, and dark winter. Most saw it as signaling coming gloom, but Alex knew he would always see it as a reminder of the time of year he met Walter. For him, Walter was the beginning of a life full of love and family like he hadn’t known.  
  
Alex figured he would always smile when he overheard someone complain about termination dust. He wouldn’t mind being cooped up inside with the man who holds his heart for a long winter. Alex had run to the wilderness to get lost and not be found. Walter had too, in his own way. The wild land had delivered a life better than either of them could have imagined, and Alex couldn’t find any fault with the forces that had brought them together.

 


End file.
